LibriumArcana.Games

...completely by accident, then turns around and goes home.

Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein
Mar 2nd - 5:33pm

ZURICH, Switzerland (AP) - What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

A spokesman for the Swiss army confirmed the story but said that there were unlikely to be any serious repercussions for the mistaken invasion.

"We've spoken to the authorities in Liechtenstein and it's not a problem," Daniel Reist told The Associated Press.

Officials in Liechtenstein also played down the incident.

Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something," he said.

Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.

Accident my ass. This is just the first move.

Keep an eye on this, people.

Petrosjko wrote:Accident my ass. This is just the first move.

Never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to incompetence.

Stofsk wrote:

Petrosjko wrote:Accident my ass. This is just the first move.

Never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to incompetence.

That's what they want you to think.

Switzerland is responsible for the defense of Liechtenstein.... they have been planning this all along, keeping them weak!

A little more seriously (only a little), can you imagine how the call probably went:

Swiss dude: "err, ah, yeah, we accidentally had some dudes in your base"
Liechten dude: "dude, like it is no big deal. seriously."
Swiss dude: "dude, you don't understand. our dudes were in your base."
Liechten dude: "seriously. dude. you weren't like killing our dudes were you?"
Swiss dude: "dude, like duh."
Liechten dude: "dude, see, like, who cares, dude?"
Swiss dude: "lollerskates"
Liechten dude: "roflcopter"

It's hard to take Leichtenstein seriously when I realise it has a smaller population than the three biggest cities in WV (40,000 to 52,000 each city)

Swiss:

We're in your country, accidently invadin your lands...

THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE.

Christ, I see that only elite Swiss Praetorians marching through D.C. with their halberds at ready will convince you.

Fuck this shit, I'm going back to my bunker.

LadyTevar wrote:It's hard to take Leichtenstein seriously when I realise it has a smaller population than the three biggest cities in WV (40,000 to 52,000 each city) :roll:

The country is the only country in Europe with a pre-WW1 type vintage constitution which grants extensive powers to the Prince, including the ability to veto legislation and dismiss parliament and call new elections--the qualifier being that in Liechtenstein they actually like the Prince doing this, and passed a recent plebiscite giving him even more power. The place is very prosperous, however, with a per-capita GDP of around $54,000 USD. In comparison the United States is at $43,555 at current.

It's origin was actually as a country estate given to the Liechtenstein family (the whole country is named after them, not the other way around) by the old Habsburg Holy Roman Emperors. Basically, it was the equivalent of a ranch or a giant farm in the Empire, nothing more. But they were given princely rank along with the bit of territory, so when the Empire was dissolved in 1806 they were made vassals of Napoleon and effective suzerains of the territory which, before that time, they had never actually visited. Then in 1815 with the Congress of Vienna after Napoleon's defeat, Liechtenstein became a member of the Confederation of the Rhine, a weak replacement for the old HRE. When the Confederation was dissolved in 1867 with Prussian victory over Austria in the Seven Weeks War, Liechtenstein, like all the south German states not included in the North German Confederation, became fully independent. Four years later after the Franco-Prussian War when the South German states were incorporated into the German Empire, Liechtenstein was not annexed in the same way because it was not connected to the rest of the territory of Germany.

The Princes proved exceptionally clever, and along with Switzerland, Liechtenstein is the only area of German-speakers in Europe not annexed by Hitler. Despite 50% of their border being with German-occupied Austria, and the fact that a single battalion could have overrun the country in two or three hours, they managed to avoid having that happen, and they certainly deserve some commendation for the achievement.

Petrosjko wrote:THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE.

Christ, I see that only elite Swiss Praetorians marching through D.C. with their halberds at ready will convince you.

Um, that's not invasion --that's carnival.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:

Petrosjko wrote:THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE.

Christ, I see that only elite Swiss Praetorians marching through D.C. with their halberds at ready will convince you.

Um, that's not invasion --that's carnival. :lol:

I take it you've never had your head chopped off by a halberd before, then. A pity, because then you'd know the true power of that formidable weapon.

A halberd was one of the most effective weapons of the late medieval period. It had superior reach to everything but other polearms and was capable of chopping, thrusting, and bludgeoning. It could even hook a knight off horseback.

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:

Petrosjko wrote:THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE.

Christ, I see that only elite Swiss Praetorians marching through D.C. with their halberds at ready will convince you.

Um, that's not invasion --that's carnival.

I take it you've never had your head chopped off by a halberd before, then. A pity, because then you'd know the true power of that formidable weapon.

It's not exactly a feat you're able to appreciate after the fact, the average halbred-induced be-heading.

SirNitram wrote: It's not exactly a feat you're able to appreciate after the fact, the average halbred-induced be-heading.

Exactly, my good fellow, exactly.

Switzerlands soldiers are the only ones so badass that there's international treaties saying they can't hire out mercenaries except to the Pope!

(No really, mind it's also in their constitution)

Oh yeah, so badass, they have wine openers on thier pocket knives....


to quote Robin Williams "Now I know few of you have ever opened chardoney under fire before....."

Personally, I find a man able to calmly pop open a bottle while hell's coming down to be quite admirable and badass, myself.

Unless, of course, they're the fucking Swiss.

*points to the Code Red portion of the sig.*

There's far more to this than you know. Oh yes...

Petrosjko wrote:Personally, I find a man able to calmly pop open a bottle while hell's coming down to be quite admirable and badass, myself.

I hate popping corks. Maybe I just suck at it.

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:

Petrosjko wrote:THIS IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE.

Christ, I see that only elite Swiss Praetorians marching through D.C. with their halberds at ready will convince you.

Um, that's not invasion --that's carnival.

I take it you've never had your head chopped off by a halberd before, then. A pity, because then you'd know the true power of that formidable weapon.

The halberd is a formidable weapon ... unless you are able to rush the wielder and prevent him from utilising his weapon properly. When he is running backwards to get away from the swordsman who's closed to *his* reach, the halberdsman is at a definate disadvantage. Even those with a buttspike still have the limitation of all that extra length/mass to work with.

Put the halberdsman and the swordsman fighting in a narrow cobblestone road, and you'll quickly see who has the upperhand. Even out in the open, let the swordsman get too close and the Halberdsman will lose. Halberds are Offensive Mass Weapons, but pretty crappy when it comes to attempting a defense, especially when the swordsman's got a shield.

That's the classical style of halberd. You forget, these are Swiss halberds with bottle opener, awl punch, and death ray.

LadyTevar wrote: The halberd is a formidable weapon ... unless you are able to rush the wielder and prevent him from utilising his weapon properly. When he is running backwards to get away from the swordsman who's closed to *his* reach, the halberdsman is at a definate disadvantage. Even those with a buttspike still have the limitation of all that extra length/mass to work with.

Put the halberdsman and the swordsman fighting in a narrow cobblestone road, and you'll quickly see who has the upperhand. Even out in the open, let the swordsman get too close and the Halberdsman will lose. Halberds are Offensive Mass Weapons, but pretty crappy when it comes to attempting a defense, especially when the swordsman's got a shield.

I very rarely evaluate the effectiveness of weapons other than modern firearms (or modern concealable melee weapons) in situations where the number of people involved on each side is less than 250, I'll admit. You're absolutely right about a halberd. If it was one-on-one a sword is infinitely better.

However, in a massed formation, consisting of about 3,000 pikemen, 500 halberdiers, and 500 arquebusiers, which was not uncommon for 16th century Swiss deployments like Marignano or Ceresole, the halberd proved to be the solution to the problem which initially killed the phalange as the decisive formation of the battlefield, that is, the ability of more nimble sword-and-shield armed troops to flank them. With the halberdiers stationed in masses of hundreds on either flank as flank-guard, they could check swordsmen easily, especially when now supported by arquebusiers, which allowed the phalangites to advance unimpeded and clear the field, or when two such formations met head-to-head such as at Ceresole, guaranteed "a wholesale slaughter", as the accounts of the period put it: Probably 28% of all the troops engaged there on both sides were killed, wounded, or captured (with the losses being disproportionate to the defeated Imperials, of course).

Swords were weapons of last resort in such situations when the polearms had been entirely broken.

I wrote out the sequence of events in such a combat myself for some of the backstory for the Taloran species I use the TGG with Steve and so on--pre-firearms, and more properly like the use of phalangites under the Diadochai, but I'd repost it somewhere around here if you were interested in seeing my take on how phalangites were usually employed, traditionally, in major field engagements.

Petrosjko wrote:That's the classical style of halberd. You forget, these are Swiss halberds with bottle opener, awl punch, and death ray.

You missed the chocolate box.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:

Petrosjko wrote:That's the classical style of halberd. You forget, these are Swiss halberds with bottle opener, awl punch, and death ray.

You missed the chocolate box.

They're issued a special carrying case for their chocolates. It's supersecret stimulant chocolate that allows them to fight with the strength of ten men.

The fucking Swiss are serious business.

Petrosjko wrote:The fucking Swiss are serious business.

But of course they are!

As I said, Duchess... in its element, assisting and protecting a shieldwall or other mass formation, the halberd was a weapon beautifully designed for the job of 'reach out and kill someone'.
Its length meant it could reach over and around defenders to smash attackers, or to simply push their shields and weapons aside long enough for a pikeman or swordsman to finish the job. Its mass, concentrated at the tip, dealt a powerful blow that was aided by the torque that even a 90* drop passed on. When the halberd could really get swinging room, the torque could give it power enough to split armored bodies.

I still say that a halberd did have one huge drawback, and a famous folk/filk song says it all:

Pennsic War 4 wrote: Oh you can't swing a halberd when you're in the Forest/ That extra steel keeps getting in the way!