Things I've learned in gaming

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:39 am

Rogue 9 wrote:Never bother trying to find out shit, even when you're playing a very skilled detective, because if the Storyteller wants you to know it you will, and if he doesn't he'll have a random mind mage rip the memories out of you because he doesn't want to deal with you having the knowledge.

Then he's not a very good DM, is he.

Cynical Cat · Post by **Cynical Cat** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:32 pm

Umbras:

If there aren't cat creatures involved, Julian isn't seriously trying to kill you.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:21 pm

My Iron Heroes Party goes hunting in the woods to find the monster that has been laying siege (literally) to the town they are stationed in. None of the members have the ride skill, however, two of them insist upon taking horses. This is important.

Following the tracks of the wargs that attacked the night before they find a strange clearing where the warg tracks just stop. They also find a set of horse tracks. Right away one of the characters (not the player, the character) declares it must the dreaded Were Horse summoning creatures to it's bidding! Most of the party declares this to be absurd, there are no such things as Were Horses... Right? *The GM just grins at them*

Well they drop the arguement and begin following the horse tracks. However, in following the tracks, the party mage decides to scare one of the riders. In doing so, he scares the crap out of the horse and it bolts. This causes the other horse to bolt. One rider clings on until finially deciding to leap to safety. She is alone in a clearing with a cave. She gets up and dusts herself off and hears growling behind her. She feels a blast of hot air on her shoulder. Turning around she sees a Bear that was bigger then her horse. The bear bats her out of the clearing and roars. I attempted to make it clear that the bear was not leaving the clearing but the heroes weren't having any of that. The rest of the party catch up and attack using poisoned weapons.

After a long hard struggle they put this unnatural bear down. They investigate the cave, find more horse tracks, deer bones, a campfire and a bunch of painted rocks. At this point one of the characters decides he's hungry and he's heard bear taste good. *He heard that from his helpful GM* The rest of the party thinks this is a great idea and munching proceeds.

At this point my roommate walks in, listens to this and whispers to me "Didn't they use poison on this thing?" My reply "I'm not sure if cooking would kill the poison." I decide to ask the player who got said poison. He says no. The party stops cold as I start laughing uncontrollably.

5 Fort saves and 2 party members are poisoned, each losing 2 str pts.

The Moral of the story?

Don't eat poisoned meat. Even if you were the one who poisoned it.

Charon · Post by **Charon** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:16 pm

Running a Serenity campaign (a while back). The group was on some backwater planet that they'd just helped to beat up some raiders that were messing with a village (they felt kinda obligated to since the medical supplies that were supposed to arrive at the village had kinda been stolen by the crew a few weeks before). So there's a big celebration and during it I decide "What the hell, we've got a womanizer in the party." And decide I'm gonna do a bit of shameless stealing from the show to get said womanizer hitched.

While I am in the midst of setting this up one of the other players catches on and says "Oh boy I know what's gonna happen next!" This caused me to pause, and then change plans, especially since said player's character was getting fucking wasted. The womanizer gets a hot and sweaty night, the loud-mouth gets hitched without his knowing. Session ends.

The next session opens with him finding a woman stowed away on the ship, and when asked who she is she says "I'm your wife."

The moral of the story?

Do not assume what your GM is going to do. He will change his plans for the express purpose of spiteing you.

Cynical Cat · Post by **Cynical Cat** » Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:57 pm

Julian's Rule of Vampire Campaigns: The more of a combat monster a character is, the greater the odds of him being a total fuck up.

Comrade Rudolf · Post by **Comrade Rudolf** » Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:30 pm

1. If a character get bombed on saki they will be married by the time they wake up.
2. Remember that retreat is always an option.
3. A good GM will kill a character for being stupid, an evil GM will make sure that you live... you suffer longer that way.
4. If you ever want to kill one of Charon's characters just turn it into a time traveling elf.
5. NEVER try to catch a leprechaun. Even if you live long enough to catch it and make a wish he will twist it to hurt you.
6. Evil character use more ninja notes.
7. 3 weeks to put together a GREAT character concept, 1 session for the other PC's to destroy it.
8. Merits can be flaws...
9. There are Vampire's in the sewers.
10. If someone asks if you are a god, you had better be able to back up your answer.

Cynical Cat · Post by **Cynical Cat** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:36 am

No matter how badass a werewolf you might be, the fucking Gangrel is still a Gangrel.

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:48 am

I hereby declare that from now on, clever plans in games (and other places) shall be listed in Westons. The logical limit is 10, but particularly audacious plans, if carried out to completion, may result in the coveted "11".

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:47 am

What's a Weston?

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:44 pm

The main character from Burn Notice (see sig + avatar)

Cynical Cat · Post by **Cynical Cat** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 7:20 pm

Here's an example of the system in action:

ImperialFeline (5:19:00 PM): 20:15] HotfootB5: hack the planet!
[20:16] TevarTahalshia: hehheh
[20:16] HotfootB5: Here's the plan
[20:17] HotfootB5: Override the signal from the police and put in a warning that there's a bomb in the spaceport and all ships need to lift off now for safety reasons
ImperialFeline (5:19:19 PM): About 7-8 Westons.
HotfootB5 (5:19:22 PM): Thank you

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:36 am

*sigh* I'm never going to get above 3 Westons I think.

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:37 pm

frigidmagi wrote:*sigh* I'm never going to get above 3 Westons I think.

That's okay, we'll still have the Fiona scale for wanton destruction.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:57 pm

Hotfoot wrote:
frigidmagi wrote:*sigh* I'm never going to get above 3 Westons I think.
That's okay, we'll still have the Fiona scale for wanton destruction.

Ok, that's the one I'll be trying to score on.

Cynical Cat · Post by **Cynical Cat** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:35 am

And the Sam scale for profiteering and the Victor scale for body count.

Charon · Post by **Charon** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:09 pm

Hotfoot wrote:
frigidmagi wrote:*sigh* I'm never going to get above 3 Westons I think.
That's okay, we'll still have the Fiona scale for wanton destruction.

I don't even want to know what a 10 is... do I?

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:56 pm

Fiona isn't really that destructive in the show by my standards, mainly since Mike keeps telling her to tone it down. However once upon a time she was a IRA terrorist.

Charon · Post by **Charon** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:10 am

frigidmagi wrote:Fiona isn't really that destructive in the show by my standards, mainly since Mike keeps telling her to tone it down. However once upon a time she was a IRA terrorist.

Yeah I know and love the show. The first episode (I think) actually has her casually throwing Molotov cocktails out into the street as a method of "discouraging" people from coming inside.

Like I said. I don't want to think about what a 10 is...

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:53 am

I found that a perfectly valid way to achieve the objective.

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:14 am

I have learned that being swallowed whole by a creature that has explosive death throes when you have evasion, and still being in the gizzard when it's killed by the rest of the party, is fucking hilarious.

Cynical Cat · Post by **Cynical Cat** » Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:32 pm

Space Marines make the best meat shields.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 11:43 am

A comedy of errors.

I am running a Shadowrun campaign over in Phoenix. Derek, Angeloid and VI are in as are others are on this board. Silence shows as he is available.

The week before last, they took a job to kidnap the son of a Ares Executive. Steve Gates (long story). After hitting several contacts, arguing incessantly, scheming, planning and even plotting (The GM mostly poked around the kitchen during this). They came up with Cunning Plan! The kid left Ares turf several times a week. One of those was to visit a gym.

The Cunning Plan was to pull an ambush on the convoy (two cars with bodyguards and the kid) on the route to the gym, fast and harsh. The plan was to run the second car off the road and then ambush the second at an intersection. A decker was pay to ensure a red light.

In order to pull this off, they decided to steal a tow truck. This actually went well, they called a company from pay phone and then jumped the poor bastard who came to help them. Due to their ampped up nature the poor bastard didn't get a shot off (look in real life tow truckers carry okay so I feel perfectly fine in making fictional ones carry). That was the last thing that went well.

They decided to put the guys with the heaviest body in the truck. Saddly they forgot to make sure these guys could drive with any skill. When it came time to cause the wreck... Well those dice rolls made me happy anyways. So they aborted the roadside ambush not sure if a prolonged gun battle with bodyguards would be over before the cops started showing up.

They go to the gym to try and work a plan B before the kid goes home. VI realizes that the bodyguards are only carrying pistols and decides that if he can start a melee combat with his sword, he should be able to win the fight before anyone notices. Another player (we'll call him Jo, not his real name) disagrees and decides to cut off VI at the pass. VI is walking up to the only visible bodyguard who is smoking in a parking lot outside the gym. Jo drives into the parking lot in his van, pulls alongside the bodyguard and opens up. Sadly no one thought to check the car for the other two bodyguards. They roll out of the car and open up on Jo (VI's still on the other end of the street cursing at this point). Jo, dodges by stepping on the gas, so the bullets go screaming through the rear of the van instead...

Where Derek, Silence and Angeloid happened to be sitting. At this point Angeloid decides to jump van and head into the gym. Jo meanwhiles decides to circle the bodyguard's car so has to get a better shot, he sadly flubs the driving test. VI is running full out towards the fight while the bodyguards fill the van with high speed lead, just barely missing everyone. Angeloid enters the Gym, only to find panic and confusion, and the last bodyguard shuffling the target out the back door.

Jo attempts to drive the van again, only to fail and end up in the middle of the street. VI arrives and promptly chops down a bodyguard with his sword. Angeloid engages the bodyguard in the gym, missing with his monowhip but avoiding cutting himself. The others spill out of the back of the van and open fire. Hitting VI (really lousy dice rolls really) in the back twice. There's a 5 minute period where I can't stop laughing at this point.

Angeloid manages to take out the bodyguard and starts chasing the kid, who's in great shape, odd for a member of the gates family right? Meanwhile VI kills the other bodyguard, mostly to keep the others from shooting him again. Angeloid tackles and wrestles the kid down and calls up his "buddies." They pile into the van drive over and at this point an argument over how to subdue the kid occurs. Jo decides to shot the kid in the head with gel rounds. The poor kid is also tasered within inch of his life. Lucky for them Derek's mage knows the heal spell.

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 2:37 am

Heh, they won't underestimate pistols anymore, will they?

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:52 am

I remember a 2nd Ed ShadowRun game.

Skinny little snot of a elven decker armed with a light-pistol. Orc Mercenary with a SMG. The orc can't hit worth shit, and is getting shot in return. The Elven decker is doing head-shots, and no one can target him at all.

Orc ducks behind the Elf and uses him for cover. The GM now can't hit EITHER of them.

Cynical Cat · Post by **Cynical Cat** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 12:05 pm

Frigid, do you remember this bit from Gamer Quotes, because your post reminds me of my cluster fuck.

A snatch and grab mission that is a staggering, barely successful clusterfuck, despite overwhelming PC superiority. Comment is by Malfius, ex-Canadian Military.
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You know the show Secrets of the SAS? This isn't how the SAS do it
.

LibriumArcana.Games

Things I've learned in gaming

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