Feedback for White Haven

[frigidmagi]

There's still alot of Hollywood in this and it needs to be reprocessed. The opening engagement is interesting though and I like the idea of the Commanders and Bolos being trained together as a pair.

Although doesn't that defeat the purpose of a Commander? I mean, the Commander is completely unnecessary in combat. His whole job is to pull the plug on the Bolo if it goes to far and make sure there's a human in the loop. Having the commander identify and become to deeply committed to his Bolo in this context would be a bad thing wouldn't it? I've always figured that for one of the bigger problems in the Brigade.

On the flip side they're fighting Elder things, screw the old rules.

[White Haven]

Regarding the Commander question, that's something that's fair to ask about any mid- to late-model Bolo, really. In this particular context, the Commander is there to make the intuitive leaps that Bolos aren't so good at. While that may not be so necessary for older, more experienced Bolo personae, production models have a history of being rather literal-minded at times. This can be a serious problem when the laws of reality come unhinged and begin flapping in the wind. When I get to the latter events in the battle, you'll get to see some examples of Commanders and Bolos making up for each other's shortcomings, or at least trying to in some cases.

Incidentally, I'm finding this story great practice for my historical tense issues. Since Bolo-perspective segments are traditionally first/present and human-perspective segments past/third, the swapping back and forth keeps me from falling into present/third out of habit.