Author Feedback: Bloody Good
Moderator: LadyTevar
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Bloody Good
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#1 Author Feedback: Bloody Good
Hero Work is an ongoing bit of fiction I've been writing for a while. Every few months, I get inspired and write some more. Most of the characters are based loosely on someone I know, and I've found that it makes writing for them a bit easier.
Last edited by Bloody Good on Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Remember: Die angry, and leave a heavy corpse.
"A + B = KNIFE!"
-Red Mage, Twinkin' Out, Issue 21
"A + B = KNIFE!"
-Red Mage, Twinkin' Out, Issue 21
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LadyTevar
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#2
The main problem I see is that you need to remember to make each line of dialog a new paragraph. Stuffing two people's voices into one paragraph makes it very hard to follow.
Otherwise, the story pulled me in and I wanna see more.
Otherwise, the story pulled me in and I wanna see more.
Dogs are Man's Best Friend
Cats are Man's Adorable Little Serial Killers
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Bloody Good
- Initiate
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sat May 26, 2007 2:17 pm
- 17
- Location: The state of Denial
#3
Well, the formatting went to shit when I copied and pasted from Word Pad, but I'll edit it back up to par eventually.
Remember: Die angry, and leave a heavy corpse.
"A + B = KNIFE!"
-Red Mage, Twinkin' Out, Issue 21
"A + B = KNIFE!"
-Red Mage, Twinkin' Out, Issue 21