Author Feedback: General Havoc

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 12:14 pm

rhoenix wrote:That was...wow.

I had to sit back and take in what happened for a moment after I finished reading, it was that good. Excellent work, and as always I'm left impatient for the next chapter.

Havoc asked me in IMs what I thought of it. My answer was to grab him by the collar and say "MORE!"

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 12:43 pm

LadyTevar wrote:Havoc asked me in IMs what I thought of it. My answer was to grab him by the collar and say "MORE!"

Yep, that's the succinct version, alright.

On the other hand, I could tell with a second reading how Havoc was experimenting with his own writing style during that chapter, particularly with character perspective. It was quite well done - it felt almost like watching TV, because of how smooth and dramatic the transitions were.

This is also, for the record, why TV and movies will never ever trump the written work.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Tue Jul 01, 2008 11:13 am

Additionally, "The Measure of a Titan" has been reposted at SD.net by yours truly, for the curious. This is the link to the thread.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 11:38 am

Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

*sniffles* That was lovely.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:35 pm

Excellent chapter, Havoc. Many good scenes, through seeing some interesting developments with Raven was especially nice.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:05 pm

Now that was just beautiful. Well worth the wait too.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:24 am

As I mentioned to you before, you do character development very well. Watching David evolve, as well as the others (sometimes even over the course of a single chapter) is fascinating for me. This is still a secondary bonus to the main story, true, but I think it certainly says something.

In any case, I patiently await the next chapter. You've quite proven that the chapters are worth the wait.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:11 pm

I have no words for the awesomeness.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Sun Oct 05, 2008 10:14 pm

That chapter, Havoc, was well worth the wait. Once I was able to sit down and actually read it, the three posts' worth of text flew by.

It read like you'd spent a large amount of time and care crafting it this way, and it showed.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:22 pm

About time we realize what's going on here.

However, I don't think Devastator is right in his ideas. There are 6 other cosmic weapons out there. There are 5 other Titans... and Terra.

Tell me if I'm seeing the foreshadowing or not. ;)

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sun Nov 16, 2008 12:34 am

Ohhh... this is even better. I just remembered a group in DCU that would count as Fundimental Forces of the Universe, and come in a pack of 7.

It would also explain why Devastator did not vanish away.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Sun Nov 16, 2008 3:55 am

LadyTevar pretty much said all that I could. Well done, here's to seeing how this turns out.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:43 am

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:09 pm

Finally all caught up. I'll edit this for a longer post later but right now...

This is good writing Havoc, you fooled me a couple of times for example I was damn sure that David was possessed by an angel. That's more linked to a pet peeve of mine in these kind of stories. The one where ye olde forces of Darkness run rampant and the hosts of light do... fuck all, but that's for another day.

The characterization is great, the dialogue fairly natural and action riveting. Between you and AN, Cat is facing some stiff competition.

I do have one note in regards to the training and Chapter 19. Alot of military training is designed to strip away the social and moral restraints that prevent a normal person from killing or maiming a fellow human being and in putting in their place whole new triggers (there is a reason ex-military types are on average more violent then civilians, there's also a reason why we don't go on murderous rampages over parking tickets). While Robin isn't training David to kill per say you would think he would have utilized more of the measures then he already did (isolation from greater society and peer pressure are some of those measures).

As to Chapter 19, everyone is scared going into battle. Even 15 year veterans feel fear over it. As Gunny said

"The guy who isn't scared going into a battle is not one I want with me."

I figure the Titans were afraid, it's simply that David doesn't realize it.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:56 pm

WTF YOU KILLED ROBIN!?!?!?!?!?

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:03 pm

...Oh holy shit. Excellent chapter Havoc, I'm just still feeling kinda stunned by what happened in 29.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:24 pm

There is an age old military tradition. It exist in every military in the world whatever their make up and organization. It is untaught because it is a very part of the very mindset needed for the work. It is illegal. It is decried as immoral. Politician and Preacher have railed against it. Civilians have been aghast at it. It will never die as long as men pick up weapons to fight and kill other men. It exist for when things go beyond just business and become personal.

Punishment Party.

When they kidnap one of yours and dump his mangled body out in the desert. You find and kill five of his openly and without mercy. When they torture and rape your people. You bayonet and beat them to death and drag their still warm bodies through the street. They kill a man under a truce flag. You take no prisoners. They gas us. We nuke them.

Looks to me like the Teen Titans are starting their very first one.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:34 pm

You wanted me to tell you if you got the Preacher right. Yes, you did. That was perfectly pitched.

The rest of the chapter was hit outta the ballpark. Vivat, my friend. It's worth every moment of the wait for it, including the hospital trip.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 1:26 am

Well done.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:30 am

That was a damn well written chapter Havoc but as to the break inbetween David's nuclear event and Slade's reappearance, let me give one answer.

No greater love does a man have then he lay down his life for another.

David failed, completely and utterly this time there's no denying that. He was set against powers completely beyond him. But, he was willing and in the end did not only risk everything, but sacrificed everything that was his to give. He did so not for some attempt at glory, or wealth. He did so to protect the people who mattered to him.

A man could do much worse. Much worse indeed.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:58 am

You really know how to make a fight scene, m'dear.

And for those on Other Boards complaining that Raven 'wouldn't act like that'? First, this Raven has had a deeper relationship with BeastBoy than Canon. Second, if there had been anyone, ANYONE, other than BeastBoy there on that hilltop, she'd have never been able to say a thing. That much is clear from reading.

So, it is totally Raven to fumble and stutter like that, when she knows she has to say this all before the End of the World.

General Havoc · Post by **General Havoc** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:44 am

Thanks so much guys. I'm really really glad you all like it, and I'll try not to be so absurd about getting the next one out on time.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:50 am

I will perfectly understand if the next one takes longer. After all, this is IT. The End of the World.

I understand if it will take you a while to get it Right.

rhoenix · Post by **rhoenix** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:01 pm

Denied and mocked for trying for a hero's death, denied and mocked for trying.

It took me a few days to sit down to read this, since I suspected that due to the emotional impact that hit Havoc while he was writing, it would be like getting pummeled for a reader. Oh, how right I was, and how little I knew how powerful it would be.

Excellent work, Havoc. Take all the time you need for 32.

speaker-to-trolls · Post by **speaker-to-trolls** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 7:49 am

This is a little out of season for a comment since you're still working on the next chapter, but I've just speed read the whole thing and man alive you have some talent!

I can't really condense all the things which I like about the story into the time I've got available to write this review, but basically I love the way you've superimposed an original story onto the actual story which does manage to fit pretty much perfectly. Your style is very impressive and your characterisation is good and has improved since the outset, I think.

I just hope you have some way of ending the story that doesn't come down to "Trigon the Terrible looked out upon the oceans of blood, up beyond the burning skies to the expanding cloud of red desolation consuming what had once been called the Milky Way, at an entire universe crumbling before him, and saw that it was good." That would be upsetting.

Anyway, keep up the good work in as much as you can!

LibriumArcana.Games

Author Feedback: General Havoc

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