Feedback for Ra

Ra · Post by Ra » Fri Apr 21, 2006 1:01 am

Ancient God of the Sun, or Supreme System Lord of the Goa'uld, take your pick. Really, just an insane poster on a message board, who has a particular penchant for fantasy and sci-fi, especially when it comes to STGOD's, and writing. However, I can be very moody with the latter, and sometimes go a month or more without typing a damned sentance.

Ur, anyway...

Active Story Threads

Sacrament of Anguish

Status: New

Inactive Story Threads

The Sparrow's Nest

Status: ABANDONED

The tiefling mage Demika, along with her husband, the elven ranger Morfindel, set out on their latest adventure, to assist a strange group on a far-flung demiplane. Little do they know that the group is under siege from a demonic army, bent on conquering the small plane for themselves.

Atlantis Rising: The Arcane Order

Status: ABANDONED

Welcome to a world where legends come alive. A world where, amongst the myriad of modern technology, arcane powers and ancient gods are real. A world that is also under siege.

The mythical land of Atlantis has come up from under the sea, awoken by a terrible release of magical energy. Now, the armies and arch-mages of Atlantis storm across the world, determined to destroy modern civilization as we know it.

And now, that invasion has reached the shores of North America. In New York City, a brave few are all that stand between the wizard Amyris, and conquest of the entire city. Gathering his Apprenices, Amyris makes ready to take the invasion into a new front.

Second Star: The Observer

Status: ABANDONED

Past the Place of Dreams

Status: INACTIVE

The warrior only known as Morfindel is an elf that has abandoned his own people, in search of a new life, and individuals of like mind. Meeting the young sorceress Fianna Devonalt, both soon find themselves thrown into an ongoing drow civil war, between the followers of the wicked goddess Lolth, and the benevolent Eilistraee. And right in the middle of this divine struggle is Akorala Baenrahel, a drow girl held captive by a cruel Matron Mother.

Star of Tuiren: The Wrathful Eye

Status: HIATUS

A story about Tuiren Leyshon, a half-drow forced into a war between two houses of the Underdark. The story is under rewrite, and will be retitled "Lady of the Mask".

Star Trek: Evolution

Status: ABANDONED

In 2384, the Alpha Quadrant has been invaded once again by the forces of the Borg. And this time, they have come in force. It's up to the crew of the USS Proteus to fend off the invasion. And soon, they discover the disturbing reason the Borg have truly come.

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:02 am

Nice update to 'Past the Place of Dreams'...

I'd warn against characterising the evil drow as they are portrayed in the games, however. Make them Palpatine-esque or like the Dark Side of the Force. One would find oneself drawn and smitten to it because of a dark and insidious beauty and seductive charisma that they possess, yet they are evil and very powerful. (At least in the priestess' case)

Ra · Post by Ra » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:09 am

Agreed, the Drow in games, especially BG II, are way too one-dimensional. They're the EVAL, so they have to look decrepit and vile to boot. Yeuck.

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:17 am

Ra wrote:Agreed, the Drow in games, especially BG II, are way too one-dimensional. They're the EVAL, so they have to look decrepit and vile to boot. Yeuck.

Kind of odd for a race which gains an automatic +2 to Charisma. And they're always portrayed as kind of stupid for a race which gains +2 to Intelligence, and kind of physically slow for a race which gains a +2 to Dexterity. And kind of tough-bulky hit-takers for people who also get a -2 to Constitution.

I do believe serious misportrayal is at work here

Ra · Post by Ra » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:45 am

Face it, BG II made them gods-damned Tolkien orcs, rather than Drow. As much as I love that game, NWN did a much better job with the race.

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:48 am

Ra wrote:Face it, BG II made them gods-damned Tolkien orcs, rather than Drow. As much as I love that game, NWN did a much better job with the race.

As much as I love NWN, they turned them into one-dimensional villains at times. Canon stats apparently don't matter too much to game designers.

Drow are cunning, ruthless, and uber-competetive. They don't get competetive if they're all fucking stupid.

BG2's best Drow was Viconia, by far.

Ra · Post by Ra » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:50 am

Yeah, Viconia and Nathyrra seem to be their crowning achievments. Outside of them, game-drow suck. Fortunately, I'm going to endeavor to make this story's drow a bit more reasonable.

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:56 am

I'd hate to say it. But with recent game portrayals, Drizzt is more bearable (to read, that is, in the earlier books). It's really in most recent portrayals that the Drow are either going to pot or Eilistraee. In fact; their best portrayals IMHO are Cynical Cat's, Mine, and Your portrayals of them.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 3:19 pm

I'm just amused how popular the Drow have become since the first Drizzt novel. Still, I agree with Narsil: you're doing a great job with the current story. :)

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:10 pm

LadyTevar wrote:I'm just amused how popular the Drow have become since the first Drizzt novel.

Of course; with Drizzt comes Drizzt Clones. I love the properly-portrayed Drow, and I find them fascinating. But I cannot stand Chaotic Good Dual-Wielding Drow who are clones of Drizzt Do'fucking'Urden.

If you think about it; almost all of Mine, Ra's and Cynical's Main Character Drow have been much more interesting because they're breaking the Drizzt-stereotype. For Example:

Nalifan is a Mystra-worshipping Drow Archmage who has more care for helping friends than generally doing good (it just so happens that doing good is covered sometimes in helping his friends).
And to look upon my own fic; Valdaeras is a Shadow Adept who has nary a care for the lives of others, he's apathetic towards the existance of other beings, simply not caring about them until they can serve his purposes; and he is a villain through and through.
Tuiren from Star is a half-drow who despises her drow half, having an almost genocidal hatred for the Drow and their destructive ways. She dual wields, yes, but so do a lot of warriors

Ra · Post by Ra » Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:23 pm

Notice: All revisions to The Arcane Order are complete. Go on over and check it out. Soon, I also hope to post a new chapter.

Also, Dak's comment about Tuiren reminded me... Should Star be continued? What do you guys think?

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sat Apr 22, 2006 7:41 pm

Ra wrote:Also, Dak's comment about Tuiren reminded me... Should Star be continued? What do you guys think?

Short Answer: Yes. I thought the idea was an excellent one personally. And you might want to seek help on that Psion you were planning as a villain in the Psionics Section Here.

Ra · Post by Ra » Sat Apr 22, 2006 8:18 pm

Thanks. There will be changes to the plot, mainly in how Omarven will only be in control of one Drow city, and I may make Tuiren a single-wielder, though I'm undecided in the latter regard.

The only reason I really abandoned Star is because I felt, after the fact unfortunately, that the beginning fight may have been seen as tasteless.

Ra · Post by Ra » Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:24 pm

NOTICE:

Commentary is requested for

CHAPTER FIVE of The Arcane Order. I desperately need some commentary, to see what I'm doing wrong or right, and if anyone is even still interested in the story. Comment please, thanks, RAR.

What do you people thing of the characters, plot, whatever you want to mention? Huh?

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:41 pm

It was nice, as I've said, and the introduction that they have to live life outside such nonsense as violence, gunfights and the like was a nice touch.

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:22 pm

HEY! You stole my Avatar!

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:26 pm

LadyTevar wrote:HEY! You stole my Avatar!

I do believe this warrants an 'I told you so, Ra.'

Ra · Post by Ra » Tue May 02, 2006 4:44 am

Is no one going to take notice of TAO? It's been several days, and only Dak's commented on it. Gimme some feedback, people!

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Tue May 02, 2006 12:57 pm

Hey, I've been away... give me time :LOL:

LadyTevar · Post by **LadyTevar** » Wed May 03, 2006 12:06 pm

Finally got the chance to read the chapters so far, and you're doing a great job. You've got a lot of backstory that's tauntalizing, making me wonder if Atlantis is still sunk, what the WhiteSpears have done in the past to become 'terrorists', and twenty other questions about the world. :)

Keep them coming!

Ra · Post by Ra » Thu May 04, 2006 12:34 am

Will do.

Glad you like it sofar!

Ra · Post by Ra » Mon May 29, 2006 1:57 am

I'd like to announce my latest work, The Sparrow's Nest, just in case someone conveniently forgot it was posted. Wierd title aside, the story focuses on a planar adventure with Demika and Morfindel (set a good while after Dak's Curse of the Amythest, obviously), and also features Raelis Shai, the tiefling playwrite and leader of the Sigil Troupe seen in Baldur's Gate II. In addition, new characters of wildly varying races and hybrids, ranging from Dwarves to Marileths, will also appear.

Basically, expect lots of demons, mysteries, horrors, and adventure.

Commentary is, as always, eagerly and warmly welcomed. I'd like some feedback folks, even negative, so do please go on over and have a look.

For those worrying about the obvious: As I see it, Haer'Dalis never left the Prime Material after deciding to travel with the Bhaalspawn, so rest assured, he only gets a brief mention from Raelis at best. :p

Narsil · Post by **Narsil** » Mon May 29, 2006 1:38 pm

The Sparrows Nest looks as if it could shape up to be a decent story, it's always nice to see one or two of the outer planes for a change.

Ra · Post by Ra » Mon May 29, 2006 5:13 pm

Thanks. I'm glad you like it, and I'm also glad that someone took notice of it.

Ra · Post by Ra » Sat Jun 10, 2006 6:27 pm

Announcing an update to Star of Tuiren, continuing the half-drow's adventures in the Forests of Tethyr.

LibriumArcana.Games

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