LibriumArcana.Games

Ya'll know the drill by now.

Now, for the constructive Criticism.

First, when you change speakers, there needs to be a new paragraph for each speaker. Some actions also need to be set off from what happened before, such as running to the hall where the bombs were.

Second, watch where the quotation marks are. You have several places where there is a stray quotation mark that confuses who is talking, or if they're talking.

Third, your writing style is very choppy and hard to follow. There's very little detail to the surroundings and not much to really draw a reader in. I stopped after the first bomb blew.