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#1 Author Feedback : B4UTrust
Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:37 pm
by LadyTevar
I told you it would work out right.
A nice teaser, now give us more
#2
Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 6:51 pm
by LadyTevar
Ask and I receive, I see.
And I didn't notice the Italics formed a mini-poem in the story! Well done!
#3
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:39 am
by LadyTevar
The only word that comes to mind is "Wow"
Because there are no more words to describe how that made me feel.
#4
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:23 am
by B4UTRUST
The purpose behind part four I owe to GenHavoc. Thanks for inspiring what to write next.
#5
Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:17 pm
by rhoenix
Layers, upon layers, within layers - very nicely done, it obviously took you some time. I really like the style and the story, and await more.
#6
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:37 pm
by rhoenix
You're getting better at embedding poetry within essays, while losing none of their impact. It's a difficult thing to show a downward spiral of drugs and self-hatred into a thing of beauty, but you've somehow managed to.
Let's see some more - I want to see where you go with this.
#7
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 5:30 pm
by LadyTevar
The most addictive drug is her....
Wow.. I love the imagery, the poetry.
And you thought you couldn't write
#8
Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:11 pm
by LadyTevar
Holy shit!
That was just....... AWESOME!
#9
Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 11:56 am
by LadyTevar
Very nice start, very film noir
tell us more
