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#1 My roommate takes gold silver and bronze in moron Olympics

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 12:56 am
by Shark Bait
So the other evening CT demanded that I begin writing up a report of every foolish thing my roommate has done since I started rooming with him so you will all understand when I say that I have met one of the most stupid individuals to ever draw breath.

Tim is from New Jersey (interpret that however you want), and has a loud some what abrasive personality, and is a bit of a narcissist. Tim can be extremely opinionated and seems to have some slight issues with boundaries and tact, he also fully believes that he is psychic and has visions of the future. Now I realize that I’m probably not the easiest person to live with but I generally assume that someone would ask me before using any of my personal effects. He thinks that he is the greatest and most attractive man around and informs people of this, he also thinks that he is capable of single handedly defeating any number of attackers in a fight. He hopes to transfer to another school next year and major in Physics or Engineering then join the navy and enter the seal program. There is a problem with this, Tim does not understand even the most basic laws of physics, cannot work a balanced equation and cannot swim more than 150m without becoming extremely winded.

I guess the arguments with Tim started within our first two weeks of living together (something I had no say in, apparently he has no friends big shock there) he tried to tell me that medical science is completely failing and that we are only doing as well as we are because we are breeding faster than bacteria. Yes that’s right folks we are breeding faster than an organism that can kill us within 24 hours (extreme cases of ecoli). Never mind the fact that we now have a veritable cornucopia of antibiotics, surgical techniques and both synthetic and organic replacement parts for everything from skin to heart valves. I didn’t press this issue because I was tired I simply rolled over, went to sleep and kept my mouth shut after the constant fights with my roommates last year. Then a few days later I tried to explain to him how the modern bullet will actually fire without needing air around it because of the chemical reactions that occur involving the nitrate, sulfur and charcoal. This issue I pressed farther by showing him the reactions in my chemistry text book. He denied this knowledge by saying “that doesn’t mean anything to me because I haven’t taken chemistry in yearsâ€Â

#2

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 7:25 am
by Ace Pace
WoW. Got a degree First Class in asshattery.

#3

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 12:37 pm
by B4UTRUST
almost reminds me of my room mate in tech school.

Our "relationship" did get violent however, rather violent actually. From him waking me up by putting a hot iron on my leg to me setting his bed on fire, with him in it. Yes, we were friends...

#4

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 1:24 pm
by Cynical Cat
What courses is uber moron taking? Advanced basket weaving?

#5

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 1:25 pm
by Narsil
What courses is uber moron taking? Advanced basket weaving?
I'd have to put my bet on a master's degree in shelf-stacking myself. It seems to fit a moron of his... ahem... skills.

#6

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 3:57 pm
by Shark Bait
Ok got an update to answer some questions, Tim is currently taking chemistry for non-science majors, “revolutions in scientific thinkingâ€Â

#7

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 4:35 pm
by Batman
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one:
He believed that yes ice has a lower density than water but would not accept that the volume changes
Um-if the density changes, the volume HAS to as the mass doesn't. That's how density is defined.

#8

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 4:54 pm
by Hotfoot
For the record, I deny all knowledge of this asshat, but he seems like the kind of person who will become an electrical engineer, come back to New Jersey, and make some new crackpot theory of physics which will forever remain in the fringes of reality.

Don't laugh, it's more common than I'd like to admit.

Gotta wonder though, how the hell does he manage to sit through mythbusters? It seems to me that the experimental nature of the show would be an anethma to him.

What I really have to question though is - why the hell is he down by you guys? Someone like this I'd expect to see never leave the state - I can't see him being on scholarship, and he doesn't seem to have any friends in the area.

I feel sorry for this guy's Physics Prof and TA's, and I seriously don't see him making it past semester one of Physics with Calc without serious help and/or cheating, and given his general level of honesty, I'd bet heavily on the latter.

#9

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 4:57 pm
by Mayabird
*shudders*

At the very least, he's going to get his ass totally kicked and violated when he attempts to get a physics degree (assuming he's not bullshitting about that, too). Do you know where he's planning on going?

He even looks like a stupid dick.

#10

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 12:57 am
by Shark Bait
funy you should bring up mythbusters Hotfoot, because he says when he is done being a navy seal he's gonna try and get a job there. frankly I dont understand how he can claim to be a science major in any way, he's simply full of shit, and unable to accept defeat in a debate he will cling to any scrap of evidence he can find even if I have allready shot down that evidence.

Oh and I think he is applying to george washington university if that means anything to you i honestly dont know.

Lastly the water thing, he could not understand the concept of mass some how and he believed that is what changed when i told him the equation for density.

#11

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 5:15 am
by Cynical Cat
Yeah, he's got a career in the sciences ahead of him. Sure.

#12

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 5:24 am
by Narsil
Yeah, he's got a career in the sciences ahead of him. Sure.
Well... depends on your defenition thereof really. Supermarket shelf-stacking science perhaps? :razz:

But, yeah, I failed Physics in High School (after spending six months out with a bloody nervous breakdown, that is) and even I know that Water Expands when it freezes, it's a fact of bloody life.

#13

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 5:31 am
by Cynical Cat
Dakarne wrote: But, yeah, I failed Physics in High School (after spending six months out with a bloody nervous breakdown, that is) and even I know that Water Expands when it freezes, it's a fact of bloody life.
Hell, I knew that one when I was a kid (freezing water bottles the night before car trips to hot areas). I didn't understand why water did that until I was older though.

#14

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 6:21 am
by Narsil
Hell, I knew that one when I was a kid (freezing water bottles the night before car trips to hot areas). I didn't understand why water did that until I was older though.
Well... we never really froze water bottles over here in Lancashire...

It's got a max temperature of 30-33 degrees celsius on a particularly hot day. And technically, I'll have had to learn while I was a kid (I was 12-13 I think) since I'm only in my fecking late-teens right now actually... (17, dubious legality for another six months... 'yay') :razz:

Ah well, this is kind of a sidetrack.

But then again, it's better than complaining about a lunatic moron who's on another continent to one or two of us.

#15

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 10:39 am
by B4UTRUST
Well on the sword fighting bit, I admit that I only knew two of the three, yet I, on occassion, do spar with swords. Of course I don't claim master status of such and my knowledge tends to lean towards oriental sword types, not european.

#16

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:26 am
by Robert Walper
B4UTRUST wrote:Well on the sword fighting bit, I admit that I only knew two of the three, yet I, on occassion, do spar with swords. Of course I don't claim master status of such and my knowledge tends to lean towards oriental sword types, not european.
Well, take heart B4U. You may not qualify for the moron Olympic's by virtue of bragging about false sword skills, but rest assured you possess many, many other attributes that would qualify you easily.

#17

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:28 am
by B4UTRUST
Yes, but at least there is some sense of justice in this world. For regardless of what you might say or think about me. Always and forever I shall rule above you with an iron fist. Now back to the dungeon, slave.

#18

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:35 am
by Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman
*points at Walpie and Scottie* Ain't love great? :razz:

#19

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:40 am
by Robert Walper
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:*points at Walpie and Scottie* Ain't love great? :razz:
Yeah, until he gets up from his knees and begins demanding we cuddle.

#20

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:47 am
by Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman
Robert Walper wrote:
Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:*points at Walpie and Scottie* Ain't love great? :razz:
Yeah, until he gets up from his knees and begins demanding we cuddle.
.....and from the day forward, they live happily ever after.

#21

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:50 am
by Ace Pace
Bunch of freaks you all are.


OT note: What is it about todays culture that lets idiots like those propagate?

#22

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 12:20 pm
by Narsil
OT note: What is it about todays culture that lets idiots like those propagate?
I blame Parentage...

People are idiots if there wasn't a parent or responsible guiding body pointing them in the right direction.

#23

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 12:59 pm
by Hotfoot
Shark Bait wrote:funy you should bring up mythbusters Hotfoot, because he says when he is done being a navy seal he's gonna try and get a job there. frankly I dont understand how he can claim to be a science major in any way, he's simply full of shit, and unable to accept defeat in a debate he will cling to any scrap of evidence he can find even if I have allready shot down that evidence.
The reason I bring it up is that the picture you've supplied has Mythbusters showing on the TV behind him.

Honestly, he reminds me of this one fucker I knew in high school, Will Hartig or something like that. Kept talking about how he was going to be a paramedic and go into the marines. Total moron, completely social misfit. One night, he asked to borrow my laser pointer to freak out this one girl who had issues (she was in the parking lot below our dorm, he was going to pretend like it was a laser sight). That very night he ended up getting expelled from school because he rappelled down a floor to fuck with people, then verbally abused one of the teachers who confronted him about it, a very nice woman who taught US History.
Oh and I think he is applying to george washington university if that means anything to you i honestly dont know.
It means he's heading back to this end of the country, and might be able to hang out with Shep, but other than that, not much.
Lastly the water thing, he could not understand the concept of mass some how and he believed that is what changed when i told him the equation for density.
...Check please.

#24

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:39 pm
by Robert Walper
Dakarne wrote:
OT note: What is it about todays culture that lets idiots like those propagate?
I blame Parentage...

People are idiots if there wasn't a parent or responsible guiding body pointing them in the right direction.
To a degree it's parentage, but it's more of society babying every person there is, with stupidity and other unesireable traits breeding rapidly and out of control.

#25

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:56 pm
by frigidmagi
I would like to point out that Shark as stated no women wants anything to do with this guy, so in this case his traits aren't breeding out of control.