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#1 Valentine's Day

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 11:22 am
by LadyTevar
So.. what's everyone doing for their sweetheart?

#2

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 11:53 am
by Derek Thunder
Valentine's day is a counterrevolutionary holiday created by the idle bourgeoisie as a means of inflaming the desire on the part of the worker to consume goods with little inherent value. The holiday must be smashed.

#3

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:12 pm
by frigidmagi
That Derekese for "I don't have a girlfriend. "

#4

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:36 pm
by B4UTRUST
frigidmagi wrote:That Derekese for "I don't have a girlfriend. "
Thanks for the translation...

I don't know, maybe take her out to dinner somewhere nice or something. Not really sure yet. :sad:

#5

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:49 pm
by Derek Thunder
frigidmagi wrote:That Derekese for "I don't have a girlfriend. "
Ass.

Or, to elaborate, perhaps you should reconsider your priorities, comrade.

#6

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:21 pm
by frigidmagi
That's Reactionary Asshole to you tovarishch and smile when you say that! :wink:

#7

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 2:26 pm
by Derek Thunder
frigidmagi wrote:That's Reactionary Asshole to you tovarishch and smile when you say that! :wink:
I still maintain that it's an evil holiday.

#8

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 3:02 pm
by LadyTevar
Of course it's evil. :twisted:
It's the day that we females make you men pay VISIBLY for the chance to fuck our brains out, and yes, there is a competition to see whose man gave the best gift. And, like all Female Conspiracies, we do not have to allow you to fuck our brains out, even if you did get a great gift for us.

However... the nicer the gift, the better your chances :twisted:

#9

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 3:10 pm
by The Cleric
She's in New Mexico, 13 hours away. And I'm broke. Soooo.... a card and a phone call.

#10

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 3:13 pm
by Derek Thunder
LadyTevar wrote:Of course it's evil. :twisted:
It's the day that we females make you men pay VISIBLY for the chance to fuck our brains out, and yes, there is a competition to see whose man gave the best gift. And, like all Female Conspiracies, we do not have to allow you to fuck our brains out, even if you did get a great gift for us.

However... the nicer the gift, the better your chances :twisted:
I'm not even touching this sociological/evopsych/feminism debate. It is troubling, though, that we have a cultural system where romance is essentially commoditized.

#11

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 3:27 pm
by LadyTevar
Derek Thunder wrote:I'm not even touching this sociological/evopsych/feminism debate. It is troubling, though, that we have a cultural system where romance is essentially commoditized.
It's the ultimate in Supply and Demand Ecomonics. :twisted:

Yes, it's over commercialized.
Yes, we could have just as much romance and fun without it.
Yes, it just gives you guys one more headache to deal with.

Blame St. Valentine, who was a playa of a priest.

#12

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 4:56 pm
by Batman
I generally just have Alfred write a card.

#13

Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:11 pm
by Dark Silver
Pretty sure nothing is gonna get done, seeing as I'm not actually or really dating anyone.

like, at all.

#14

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:53 am
by Comrade Tortoise
Same here. I suppose I will be bitter and bemoan the fact that I cannot seem to find a guy who fits the following criteria

1) Is gay/bi
2) Is not riddled with disease
3) Is not a shallow moron
4) Possesses personality traits and physical features I find attractive in a mate.
5) Is also interested in me.

Typical problems are with 1 and 5

#15

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:08 am
by The Village Idiot
I will be celebrating the St Valentines Day Massacre OR Arizona State Day. I really only ever agree to spending large sums of cash on her if she agrees to fully support Steak and BJ day. And support not only in letter but in the spirit of the holiday. Granted this time around I have no mate to share with.

#16

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 10:36 am
by Rukia
I got the complete collection of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!!!!

Something I've wanted for years!

#17

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:26 pm
by Destructionator XV
I'm pretty fucking pissed off. Every year for the last four Letia and I would get take out or delivery pizza and we'd eat it. I'd give her some random piece (or two) or jewelry and that's the end of it.

This year, she's going out somewhere with some piece of shit she just met.

"but we'll do our pizza on friday and watch nbsg too"

That will be good but it's not quite the same. (And i doubt she'll actually do that either. She's been extremely unreliable for the last few months.)

just pisses me off.

#18

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:23 pm
by Dark Silver
..Adam....

are you a Letia actually dating though?

If you don't want her doing stuff like that..why don't you actually ask her out.

#19

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:32 pm
by Destructionator XV
That's what's doubly annoying about this year - we actually did have a "date" planned, beyond the implicit tradition of the last few years.

EDIT:
http://xkcd.com/513/
oh man

#20

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:54 pm
by Destructionator XV
yay she promised to spend time with me tomorrow! Now I just hope she keeps it.

#21

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:09 pm
by B4UTRUST
I kind of feel the desire to state this:

This is, regardless of anything else, a bullshit holiday.

It's a holiday for lovers. For single people it's known as Singles Awareness Day.

Yes, that's right. A holiday for lovers. Not a holiday for a man to take out a small loan to try to impress his woman with a bauble, flowers and a fancy dinner somewhere.

All in the vain hopes that the woman in question decides to put out. If sex is an acceptable Valentine's gift, then why the hell do us guys have to buy stuff in the first place? We're there too, you know. Isn't it kind of a communal gift at that point? I mean you're giving it to her, too. Hell, in most cases the guy is the one doing the work, anyway. I say this because most women I meet have a problem with being on top. Not that they don't like it once they get into it, it's that they're uncomfortable with themselves being on top. They're 'not good at it.' Well, no shit. It takes practice. It takes you trying and wanting to try. It takes you doing something other than laying down, opening something and taking a nap. Which, really, requires no real practice, effort or work on your part at all. Well, I guess you do burn one or two calories pulling off the panties and spreading your legs to begin with.

This is bullshit, really. Just picture if this situation was reversed? If the guy refused to get the woman a god-damned thing until he found out how good of a lay the woman was. Odd how that doesn't seem to work and the woman would probably slap him and say fuck off. He'd be picking up his teeth till March.

For example
Guy>> Honey, I got you something.
Girl>> Really?
Girl>> What is it?
Guy>> I don't know.
Guy>> Let's see how good a lay you are first.
Of course I still find it fucking odd that women seem completely incapable of buying a gift in return since it's a day for lovers. I'm sorry to say that sex is not a fucking gift. It should be retitled as "You give me shinies and I'll lay back, take it, and continue to let you do the work Day." Laying on your back and letting a guy have sex with you doesn't constitute a gift. Wow, yay, you let me spend an hour in an intense horizontal cardio workout. Congrats. Really. That's great. What did you do to make this day special? Spread your legs? Yeup, reaaal special. Because, you know, a prostitute can do that same thing for probably less money than what we're going to spend trying to impress you anyway. Just to make sure of this, lets check.

Yeup for less than $200 I can spend a couple hours with a female who I know will fuck me. Now, I could spend that $200 on you and get what? The possibility? That small joy that we recieve when you smile and let us know it was the right thing? Sure, that's great and all, I suppose. But really, lets think about this one. What happens if it's not the right gift? Did we just drop $200 on something you don't like, probably won't ever like, will never let us forget that you don't like it and then we lose any possibliity of you laying back and taking it till you grow tired, sore and tell us to stop before we finish? Hmm.

So what do we really end up with here?

A holiday where:
A Guy -
1) Buy's the female gifts, flowers, chocolates, cards, jewelry, treats them to nice meals, etc
2) Risks the ire of his 'partner'(I refrain from using the term 'significant other' here because lets face it, in this holiday the contributions of the female to it are not what one would call 'significant'.)
3) Might, possibly, if he manages to please and spend enough of his money on meaningless shinies that Kay, Jared, or whatever fucking jewelry store says are 'the thing' to get for her this year, get laid. Only a maybe.

And A Girl -
1) Shows up
2) Gets presents
3) Decides whether or not to 'gift' the guy by laying on her back like a useless low-dollar whore, spread her legs for a bit and take it in the snatch

Alternately a guy could -
1) Spend about $150 on a nice escort
2) Get laid with a person who is interested in making it a good time because she could get repeat business
3) Avoid the whole stupidity of 'Women are shallow, and only interested in how much a guy is willing to spend on them Day.'


So, what does this 'holiday' teach us, ladies and gents?
1) Women are whores. That's the long and the short of this statement. Either the guy pays the cash up front for the guaranteed lay, or pays over time for the possibility of it. Don't try denying it. Tev's already stated as such, in her own way. Guys are expected to spend money on the women for the chance of getting laid with no guaranteed, however the 'nicer'(read: more expensive) the gift, the better your chances. We either give you the money up from in dollar form or we pay for it via gifts, dinners, dates, etc. Either way, the statement remains.

2) Women complain about only finding assholes to date, and this holiday is a prime example of why guys are assholes. Well, that and as an asshole not only do we end up using women, abusing women, the asshole usually gets laid 9 times out of 10 and most of the time a talented asshole can get the woman to pay for it! Whereas the nice guy who supports valentine's day, has a 50/50. Go figure.

3) When I find a woman who bothers to give me a gift on Valentine's day I will retract these statements and issue a public appology. And by gift I mean more than a $.35 card from Wal-mart that they happened to pick up while they were there. Because hey, if a girl can't take the time to really think about what to get me, why should I bother to classify it as an honest attempt at a gift? Isn't that the same logic used against us?

4) I don't think I'll ever have to worry about #3 as Carla doesn't do Valentine's day, and I cook for her all the time so going out would actually be a different change of pace for us and nice on its own.

#22

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:57 pm
by Derek Thunder
1) Women are whores. That's the long and the short of this statement. Either the guy pays the cash up front for the guaranteed lay, or pays over time for the possibility of it. Don't try denying it. Tev's already stated as such, in her own way. Guys are expected to spend money on the women for the chance of getting laid with no guaranteed, however the 'nicer'(read: more expensive) the gift, the better your chances. We either give you the money up from in dollar form or we pay for it via gifts, dinners, dates, etc. Either way, the statement remains.
Ooh, I just love how this statement oozes with impotent misogyny. It's a meaningless holiday, and you fire back with Ladder Theory trash.

#23

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:11 pm
by Comrade Tortoise
I am with Derek on this one.

All of female-kind is not to be blamed because you cant maintain a decent relationship such that your girlfriend feels the necessity to get you a token of her appreciation on Valentines day. Moreover, have you communicated these misgivings to her? Perhaps if you had done so she would have said something like "Oh, I was just going along with what I thought you wanted. I am sorry you feel as if I am getting more out of this than I am giving back" and seek to ameliorate the situation.

Oh but of course not. Bitterness shall prevail! And this is coming from the guy who talks about harpooning happy couples.

#24

Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:03 am
by Rukia
Of course I still find it fucking odd that women seem completely incapable of buying a gift in return since it's a day for lovers.
Not true, I bought SB a Video game that he's been wanting since it came out. And I bought it with my own money too. Yanno from working, and I don't mean on the corner.

#25

Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:49 am
by frigidmagi
Wow B4 proven wrong in 3 posts and having the chronically single gay guy call you out. Go reread Derek's first post. You see unlike yours it was funny and entertaining for all the shit I give Derek (shit he didn't earn, you on the flip side) at least he tries to make people laugh and feel better.

Sometimes dude I don't get you. Seriously, yeah your job is unfun, but at least it pays. You got a decent girl, you said so yourself, you got a warm place to sleep and food that isn't moving. You're kidding yourself if you think everything else isn't gravy. I only got half of that, but no one sees me whimpering over life. I'm starting to think all that time with officers just fucking ruined you.

By the way... Ass. I think Rukia and the other 50% of humanity who owns a vagina instead of a dick (look, I'm a crude guy, let's just accept it) a long, flowery apology with extra groveling. It wasn't a cheap video game with Sharkbait's taste either. In fact it was likely Left for Dead or something like that which would be expensive by my book. The Nudist Asshole (I would call you an SoB or a Bastard Bait, but your mother is to classy for that).

We got a number of ladies on this board. Admin or not you do not call them even by implication whores again. Do you read me? I have no sense of humor on this subject, the government removed to install more killing instinct.