#1 The Porn Equation
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:18 am
Well, a while back Derek Thunder and I decided to create a unit for the hardcoreness of porn. Now, we originally decided that we would use integral calculus to mdefine the unit, but we never actually derived the equation. I have done so.
Behold:
⌠FAP^k+FVP^k+FO+MF dP
⌡
Integrating with respect to P, where P denotes the sum of anal and vaginal Penetration, A is the Anal coefficient V is the Vaginal coefficient, and O is defined as an index of Oral Sex M is Masturbation, F is Fetish Content. K is an exponent ranking UN member nations that produce porn by the intrinsic wrongness of their production. For example, Japan is 192.
All of these indices must themselves be derived:
A=Σ(TaS/L)*R
Where Ta=Time spent doing anal sex per bout of anal sex, Sais the average scream decibel. These values are calculated each time anal sex is switched to, then added up across bouts of anal sex.
L is lube volume
R is the reacharound coefficient which is calculated as the fraction of the M term which is spent engaging in "giving a reacharound"
F=1+Σ((Tf)^n)
Tf=Time engaged in fetish activity. Defined as both object based, and copulatory paraphilias. Also, because there are an infinite number of them one simplifying assumption is that they are all created equal.
n is the number of simultaneous fetish activities
These are summed up every time a number of fetish activities is changed.
M=Σ(Tm*(1+E))
Tm is time spent masturbating
1+E is 1+the volume of ejaculate, male or female in mLs
O=Σ(To*1+((Eg/Wg)+El/Wl)
To is time spent engaging in oral sex
E is ejaculate, representing both male and female (sub g and sub l respectively) and W represents wasted ejaculate not consumed or ejected onto the face in the case of male ejaculate, or not squirted onto sheets or some other object like the male's face for female ejaculate.
P=(Σ(H/sec*Tp))
H/sec is thrusts per second. T is total time having sex. This is recalculated each time position is changed, and then summed across positions.
V=Σ(TvS)
Where Tv=Time spent doing vaginal sex per bout of vaginal sex, Svis the average scream decibel. These values are calculated each time vaginal sex is switched to, then added up across bouts of vaginal sex
Questions? Comments?
Behold:
⌠FAP^k+FVP^k+FO+MF dP
⌡
Integrating with respect to P, where P denotes the sum of anal and vaginal Penetration, A is the Anal coefficient V is the Vaginal coefficient, and O is defined as an index of Oral Sex M is Masturbation, F is Fetish Content. K is an exponent ranking UN member nations that produce porn by the intrinsic wrongness of their production. For example, Japan is 192.
All of these indices must themselves be derived:
A=Σ(TaS/L)*R
Where Ta=Time spent doing anal sex per bout of anal sex, Sais the average scream decibel. These values are calculated each time anal sex is switched to, then added up across bouts of anal sex.
L is lube volume
R is the reacharound coefficient which is calculated as the fraction of the M term which is spent engaging in "giving a reacharound"
F=1+Σ((Tf)^n)
Tf=Time engaged in fetish activity. Defined as both object based, and copulatory paraphilias. Also, because there are an infinite number of them one simplifying assumption is that they are all created equal.
n is the number of simultaneous fetish activities
These are summed up every time a number of fetish activities is changed.
M=Σ(Tm*(1+E))
Tm is time spent masturbating
1+E is 1+the volume of ejaculate, male or female in mLs
O=Σ(To*1+((Eg/Wg)+El/Wl)
To is time spent engaging in oral sex
E is ejaculate, representing both male and female (sub g and sub l respectively) and W represents wasted ejaculate not consumed or ejected onto the face in the case of male ejaculate, or not squirted onto sheets or some other object like the male's face for female ejaculate.
P=(Σ(H/sec*Tp))
H/sec is thrusts per second. T is total time having sex. This is recalculated each time position is changed, and then summed across positions.
V=Σ(TvS)
Where Tv=Time spent doing vaginal sex per bout of vaginal sex, Svis the average scream decibel. These values are calculated each time vaginal sex is switched to, then added up across bouts of vaginal sex
Questions? Comments?