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#1 Hilarious!
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:13 pm
by Robert Walper
Found this while looking for a specific website:
Could Captain Kirk's Starship Enterprise Whip Darth Vader's Imperial Star Destroyer?
- - - -
A Star Destroyer is more than five times longer than Kirk's Enterprise (and two-and-a-half times longer than Picard's Enterprise). So if size is anything to go by, the Enterprise stands little chance in a frontal assault.
However, the Federation has more advanced technology in some respects-- notably, transporter technology-- and if the Enterprise crew can draw upon their much more extensive mission experience, the situation is much more hopeful. For example: Kirk, Spock, and McCoy inject themselves with hefty doses of kironide, the chemical that gives psychokinetic powers (Plato's Stepchildren), then transport directly to the bridge of the Star Destroyer to confront Darth Vader on an equal telekinetic footing. They stun Vader with phasers set on wide dispersion (so he can't block them with his light saber), then take him back to the Enterprise. Before he wakes up they use the transporter to split Vader into his good and evil halves (The Enemy Within). The evil Vader is kept under sedation while the good one tells them everything they need to know to overthrow the Empire. Then the Enterprise uses a slingshot orbit around the nearest sun in order to go back in time (The Voyage Home, et al.) and prevent the fall of the Old Republic. The End.
Must be a fool proof arguement!
#2
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:19 pm
by Narsil
Well... it WOULD work...
But they forgot shields. And Darth Vader's experience with deflecting weaponsfire without a lightsabre. And the fact that the slingshot is inaccurate at best. And Vader is far more experienced telekinetically. And Kironide is seen neither before nor since. And it took a specific storm to do the good/evil half thing. And Vader is probably immune to most drugs due to several EU sources stating that Jedi are capable of resisting toxins (KotOR2 offhand).
Did I miss anything?
#3
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:34 pm
by Robert Walper
I sincerely hope you realize I was not seriously suggesting this is any type of practical scenario or stradegy.
#4
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 12:42 pm
by Narsil
Bob W. wrote:I sincerely hope you realize I was not seriously suggesting this is any type of practical scenario or stradegy.
Read below:
I wrote:But they forgot shields.
And if you were to just play it through in your head with a taunting tone to it... you gain the entire meaning behind the post.
-Dakarne
#5
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:23 pm
by Robert Walper
Dakarne wrote:Bob W. wrote:I sincerely hope you realize I was not seriously suggesting this is any type of practical scenario or stradegy.
Read below:
I wrote:But they forgot shields.
And if you were to just play it through in your head with a taunting tone to it... you gain the entire meaning behind the post.
-Dakarne
I was fairly sure you were joking. Just wanted to be sure...haven't quite figured you out yet, Dakarne. Still stuck on the species classification issue...
#6
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:27 pm
by Narsil
I was fairly sure you were joking. Just wanted to be sure...haven't quite figured you out yet, Dakarne. Still stuck on the species classification issue...
I am of Species 1337, designation: Le'et
#7
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:31 pm
by Robert Walper
Dakarne wrote:I was fairly sure you were joking. Just wanted to be sure...haven't quite figured you out yet, Dakarne. Still stuck on the species classification issue...
I am of Species 1337, designation: Le'et
Dear god what have I done...
#8
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:42 pm
by Narsil
Dear god what have I done...
You tried to assimilate a Dalek
Not a good idea. For they'll adapt, and they'll adapt faster.
#9
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:45 pm
by Robert Walper
Dakarne wrote:Dear god what have I done...
You tried to assimilate a Dalek
Not a good idea. For they'll adapt, and they'll adapt faster.
Don't try and make this into a Borg debate thread. Do you honestly think you could possibly withstand the sheer firepower of my Borg fanwank?!
I THINK NOT!!
#10
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:50 pm
by Narsil
Don't try and make this into a Borg debate thread. Do you honestly think you could possibly withstand the sheer firepower of my Borg fanwank?!
I THINK NOT!!
Well, unlike you, I have onscreen evidence of KE shielding on my side.
And the fact that they have 10,000,000 ships.
And a single Dalek was enough to cause a threat to the entire population of earth, and considering how that thing resisted constant firepower (with its KE shielding o' course) from eight men armed with fully automatic weapons who were all from the year 2019...
Let's see you defeat that, two borg drones couldn't even stand up to a tommy gun!
#11
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:54 pm
by Ra
Don't try and make this into a Borg debate thread. Do you honestly think you could possibly withstand the sheer firepower of my Borg fanwank?!
I THINK NOT!!
I don't know about him, but I someone that could.
Even the Borg can't adapt to a goddess.
- Ra
#12
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:36 am
by Narsil
Ra, Mystra would kick Eilistraee's arse...
And quickly.
#13
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 9:39 am
by Ra
No, what would happen is that they BOTH kick your ass, and the moment Mystra gets a look at Eilistraee's hawt bawday, she ushers her right into a nice private place.
- Ra
#14
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:22 am
by Narsil
No, what would happen is that the BOTH kick your ass, and the moment Mystra gets a look at Eilistraee's hawt bawday, she ushers her right into a nice private place.
Well, Mystra's sort of STILL going to be whipping Eilistraee's arse...
Can't refute THAT, can you?!
#15
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:23 am
by Ra
Well, no, but it'd be fun to see.
- Ra