30 things stressed women may say at work

[Robert Walper]

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless
acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to
sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder . my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. An erection doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes ... Do you see even one measily ounce of I give-a-shit?

[Lindar]

25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?

hrmm... i think i gotta practice this one.

[The Silence and I]

I'm partial to # 28 myself. I might have to find a way to make it part of my weekly speech.

Well that one and #16 too.

[Lindar]

I'm partial to # 28 myself. I might have to find a way to make it part of my weekly speech.

Well that one and #16 too.

*tackles Ryuichi, prods* awwwwww, you don't want anyone in your aura?

[The Silence and I]

Well see, it tingles on a good day. But the bad days, the bad days it stings. So now I have a policy about auras. It's all to prevent the sting.

[Lindar]

Well see, it tingles on a good day. But the bad days, the bad days it stings. So now I have a policy about auras. It's all to prevent the sting.

*awwws, snuggle* Is ok Ryuichi! We shall save you from the horrible Stinging!*hands him a teddy bear*