Cat & dog diary

[Ace Pace]

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
12:30 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVOURITE!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
Pricks. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to
kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking,
almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these Vile bastards, I again induced
myself to vomit on their favourite
chair.
Note - to - self: I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder
how long it'll take them to find it? Decapitated a mouse and brought
them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and
to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was. Damn! Not working
according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I
could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard
that my confinement was due to MY power of "ellergeez". Must learn what
the Hell this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the
other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a bloody
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time...little
bastard.

A dog thinks "he feeds me, takes me into his home and cares for me. He must be God"
A cat thinks "He feeds me, gives me a home and cares for me. I must be God."