Hello?"
"Hi honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? . . . Is this 486-5731?
Wrong Number
Moderator: frigidmagi
-
Rukia
- Pleasure Kitten
- Posts: 1672
- Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:38 am
- 19
- Location: batting at a ball of string...
- Contact:
#1 Wrong Number
shark42bait: you are evil...
shark42bait: i admire that in a woman....
I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in an AWESOME rack!
"if you want to get out of a speeding ticket short skirts and crying are still the way to go" Kairy on "mythbusters"
LimePink: "Um, Mr. President? I was doing a suduko puzzle, and based on the hidden co-ordinates in the grid, I think Osama Bin Laden is either here : points on map: or here :points to another spot within 5 miles:. Also, Jay-Z killed Tupac Shakur and the lost treasure of Atlantis actually turned to the glacier that sunk the Titanic."
shark42bait: i admire that in a woman....
I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in an AWESOME rack!
"if you want to get out of a speeding ticket short skirts and crying are still the way to go" Kairy on "mythbusters"
LimePink: "Um, Mr. President? I was doing a suduko puzzle, and based on the hidden co-ordinates in the grid, I think Osama Bin Laden is either here : points on map: or here :points to another spot within 5 miles:. Also, Jay-Z killed Tupac Shakur and the lost treasure of Atlantis actually turned to the glacier that sunk the Titanic."
-
Batman
- The Dark Knight
- Posts: 4357
- Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2006 4:47 am
- 18
- Location: The Timmverse, the only place where DC Comics still make a modicum of sense
- Contact:
#2
Not exactly new but still funny.
'I wonder how far the barometer sunk.'-'All der way. Trust me on dis.'
'Go ahead. Bake my quiche'.
'Undead or alive, you're coming with me.'
'Detritus?'-'Yessir?'-'Never go to Klatch'.-'Yessir.'
'Many fine old manuscripts in that place, I believe. Without price, I'm told.'-'Yes, sir. Certainly worthless, sir.'-'Is it possible you misunderstood what I just said, Commander?'
'Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a sword a little'
'Run away, and live to run away another day'-The Rincewind principle
'Hello, inner child. I'm the inner babysitter.'
'Go ahead. Bake my quiche'.
'Undead or alive, you're coming with me.'
'Detritus?'-'Yessir?'-'Never go to Klatch'.-'Yessir.'
'Many fine old manuscripts in that place, I believe. Without price, I'm told.'-'Yes, sir. Certainly worthless, sir.'-'Is it possible you misunderstood what I just said, Commander?'
'Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a sword a little'
'Run away, and live to run away another day'-The Rincewind principle
'Hello, inner child. I'm the inner babysitter.'