An interview story

[Mayabird]

May your competition be as bad as mine was...

So I had an interview yesterday.

Before the interview even started, he went on and on about how he'd joined the Marines. Rather, how he'd joined the Marines, and then got court-marshalled and his sorry ass thrown out for fighting. He claimed that he'd spent nine years studying martial arts (though he stopped studying at age 11 because he'd become a "reflex fighter") and that he put the other guy in the hospital for seven months.

It gets better. He wanted to go to Iraq to, and I quote, "kill towelheads." He used the term about ten times, all related to various ways he wanted to kill them, extending to smashing them with his guitar. This place where we're interviewing has huge papers put up about their nondiscrimination and harassment policies.

He also starts acting like he's sure to get the job instead of anyone else, because he has a "homie" working there. Said "homie" will get him in even if he fails the tests, because of [incomprehensible slang.] [Note: this kid was about as white as you can get outside a Nazi propaganda poster.] He's been saying everything so loud that everyone in the building can hear him. There are no walls, only some cubicles, but not near us. The manager and everyone else could hear him.

We haven't even started the interview yet.

Once we do, they start asking us questions about our typing speeds and computer abilities. I say about 60-70 WPM, since I was measured higher before but I haven't been in a while, but I know I'm pretty fast. His speed? 20. Maybe. The way he said it, he hunts and pecks. I called myself an advanced computer user, which I probably am for their purposes. He said that his is basic and that he basically doesn't know anything about computers, then calling his brother the family computer nerd, in that scornful tone of someone who looks down on people who actually know what the hell they're doing.

When asked about our motivations for getting the job, he starts saying that he's been rejected for every job he's applied to so far, and very whiny too. [Gee. I wonder why?] We get tested on our ability to speak and read scripts out loud. He's practically illiterate. It was painful to listen to him stumbling through the standard script.

And at the end, the manager tells us that she'll call us when they make their decision. He interrupts and says not to call him, because the number he gave was the number for his father's house, and "I got kicked out 'cause my dad don't want nothing to do with me no more." Then he asked for them to email him instead. He started: "Monkeyballs..."


I got the job. I strongly suspect that one person's homie is going to get an efficiency review soon.

[Comrade Tortoise]

Wow... just...wow...

I kinda wonder how this guy even got an interview. What with "Court Marshall" on his record

[frigidmagi]

There's a reason we kick people like him out. I'm sorry you had to put up with that. Hope you enjoy your new job.

[Shark Bait]

OH MY GOD its another Tim!

[Lindar]

rofg.

at least you got something good out of it.

[rhoenix]

That was a hilarious account, Mayabird. I've only met one person who even comes close to such a person as you describe, but even he wasn't anywhere near as unintentionally comedic.

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

That guy needs to be reported to the local mental health institution.