A man went to heaven, and an angel greeted him there. She escorted him to a room full of clocks. "What are all the clocks for?"
The angel replied "There's a clock for every person on Earth. Each time someone lies, their clock advances."
The man looked around and noticed that one of the clocks had not moved at all.
He said, "What about that clock? It hasn't moved at all."
The angel said, "That's Mother Theresa's clock."
She pointed out another clock that had only moved a little bit and said, "That's George Washington's clock; he only lied a few times."
Then the man asked, "Where's George Bush's clock?"
To this the angel replied, "Jesus keeps it in his office...he uses it as a fan."
Heavens Clocks
Moderator: frigidmagi
#1 Heavens Clocks
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Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
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Surlethe
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#2
Speaking of heaven:
A Unitarian died and went to heaven. St Peter greeted him at the pearly gates, and said "Welcome to heaven! I'm sure you'll enjoy your stay here for all eternity; the UUs are currently having a big party and group orgy in room 275. It's that way down at the end of the hall; feel free to drop in and ask if you have any questions."
The UU was like, "Cool!", and started down the hall. After a few steps, St Peter said, "Wait a sec; I forgot to mention something."
The UU stopped. "What?"
St Peter: "Be sure to be extra-quiety when you go by room 77."
"Why?"
"That's where all the Baptists are. They think they're the only ones here."
A Unitarian died and went to heaven. St Peter greeted him at the pearly gates, and said "Welcome to heaven! I'm sure you'll enjoy your stay here for all eternity; the UUs are currently having a big party and group orgy in room 275. It's that way down at the end of the hall; feel free to drop in and ask if you have any questions."
The UU was like, "Cool!", and started down the hall. After a few steps, St Peter said, "Wait a sec; I forgot to mention something."
The UU stopped. "What?"
St Peter: "Be sure to be extra-quiety when you go by room 77."
"Why?"
"That's where all the Baptists are. They think they're the only ones here."
--CoVD: Every time Vin Diesel kills God, a kitten masturbates.--
BANDWIDTH THIEF
"Forgive you?" Leto's voice was full of sweet reason. "Of course I forgive you. That is your God's function. Your crime is forgiven. However, your stupidity requires a response." ~Frank Herbert, God-Emperor of Dune
ACPATHNTDWATGODW
The Death Brigade
BANDWIDTH THIEF
"Forgive you?" Leto's voice was full of sweet reason. "Of course I forgive you. That is your God's function. Your crime is forgiven. However, your stupidity requires a response." ~Frank Herbert, God-Emperor of Dune
ACPATHNTDWATGODW
The Death Brigade
#3
lol that's a good ones Surly... room 77 eh?
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Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.