The Down Side of Retirement

[Robert Walper]

RETIREMENT

It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at
them. Some are oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an
oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron...... Let me relate how I handled the situation with
my wife, Julie.

When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for
Julie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the
health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working I
noticed she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.
I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just
wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out
is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit
that door...

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now,
it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after
dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times
each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates
this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she
goes to bed.

I really think my experience as a teacher helps a lot. I consider
telling people what they ought to do; it's one of my strong points...

Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much
more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she
says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make
a big issue of this; as long as she finishes up the laundry the next
evening,

I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unles s I need
something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to
Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's
bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the
next evening to do the ironing.. This gives her a little more time to
do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or
dusting...

Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and
muddy, my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know.....get
the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at
a casual pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for
her. Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff
as good as men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during
my after-golf nap, so rather than bother me, she can put them back in
the trunk when she 's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take 'em for better or
worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch
it out over two or even three days! That way she won't have to rush
so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one
of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished
mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell
her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one
for herself, she may as well make one for me too, and then take her
break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall
asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. Nobody knows
better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other...

Signed,
Ron

EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly Thursday Feb.3. He was found with a
Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver II rammed up his
posterior, with only 2 inches of grip showing.. His wife Julie was
arrested, but the all-woman Grand Jury accepted her defense that he
accidentally sat on it, and died.