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#1 Revenge of the Oscars: All-White Edition

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 8:00 pm
by General Havoc
With no minorities in evidence except for the host, it's time for...

General Havoc's Oscar Liveblog, VOLUME FOUR!!!

Let's do this:




Running Score:
Accurate Predictions by the genius-in-residence: 8
Pushes: 11
Criminal Travesties Against Nature and God: 6

Best Original Screenplay:
Who should have won: Spotlight. Straight Outta Compton was a better film, but had script issues due to one of the producers being Dr. Dre.
Who actually won: Spotlight. Excellent start, Oscars. Well selected

Best Adapted Screenplay:
Who should have won: The Martian. Admittedly the only one I saw, but a superb adaptation of a book.
Who actually won: The Big Short. I didn't see it, but others who did reported liking it quite a bit.

Best Supporting Actress:
Who should have won: Jennifer Jason Leigh. A staggering performance in The Hateful Eight.
Who actually won: Alicia Vikander. I didn't see The Danish Girl, though I heard poor things.

Best Production Design:
Who should have won: Mad Max: Fury Road. How could it be anyone else?
Who actually won: Mad Max: Fury Road. Aha! At least they get something!

Best Costume Design:
Who should have won: Mad Max: Fury Road. Superb visual storytelling in the form of costuming and props.
Who actually won: Mad Max: Fury Road. And it appears that someone actually agrees with me.

Best Hairstyling/Makeup:
Who should have won: Mad Max: Fury Road. This isn't even close.
Who actually won: Mad Max: Fury Road. Three for Three so far!

Best Cinematography:
Who should have won: Mad Max: Fury Road. How could it possibly be anything else?!
Who actually won: The Revenant. NO! Bullshit! Flag on the play! Mad Max had some of the best cinematography I've ever seen!

Best Editing:
Who should have won: Star Wars: The Force Awakens. A really close one here, but the editing in Force Awakens was good enough for me to notice.
Who actually won: Mad Max: Fury Road. I have absolutely no objections here.

Best Sound Editing:
Who should have won: Mad Max: Fury Road. The Sound was part of the storytelling in this one.
Who actually won: Mad Max: Fury Road. Fuck yes. At least the Academy is able to recognize this much.

Best Sound Mixing:
Who should have won: Mad Max: Fury Road. It takes skill to turn a frenetic chaos-chase like this film into something intelligible.
Who actually won: Mad Max: Fury Road. Goddamn, Mad Max is cleaning up the technical awards tonight.

Best Visual Effects:
Who should have won: Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Another really close one between it and Mad Max, but I have to give it to the return of Star Wars.
Who actually won: Ex Machina. WHAT?! FUCK no! Ex Machina was a perfectly decent film, but barely had any effects at all in it relative to the juggernauts!

Best Animated Feature:
Who should have won: Anomalisa. I'm not really sold on any of the nominees to be honest, but I caught this one on the flip side, and it was quite good.
Who actually won: Inside Out. No surprise here, and I can't really get mad.

Best Animated Short:
Who should have won: Sanjay's Super Team. Pixar's offering was best of the lot, as per usual.
Who actually won: Bear Story. Oh that is some BULLSHIT. Bear Story was the worst of the (admittedly decent) lot!

Best Supporting Actor:
Who should have won: Sylvester Stallone. This was a real wake-up reminder for everyone as to just how good Stallone is in his iconic role.
Who actually won: Mark Rylance. You know... I'm actually okay with this one. Rylance was without question the best thing in Bridge of Spies.

Best Documentary Short Subject:
Who should have won: No idea. Didn't see them.
Who actually won: The Girl in the River. Good on them.

Best Documentary Feature:
Who should have won: I have no idea. I didn't see the documentaries on offer this year.
Who actually won: Amy. I've actually heard really good things about this one.

Best Short Film:
Who should have won: Stutterer. An exceedingly weak field, but I have to give it to this one.
Who actually won: Stutterer. I'm actually kind of shocked at this one. Maybe the Academy was as sick as I was of the downers.

Best Foreign Language Film:
Who should have won: No clue. All the foreign films I saw last year with the exception of the un-nominated Connection were utter shit.
Who actually won: Son of Saul. I've heard good things about this one. I might catch it later.

Best Original Score:
Who should have won: Star Wars: The Force Awakens. A narrow one for me over Hateful Eight, but it's John Freaking Williams!
Who actually won: The Hateful Eight. Ennio Morricone wins his first Oscar. I can't complain.

Best Original Song:
Who should have won: No idea. All the songs I heard sucked horribly. I'd give no award.
Who actually won: Writing's On the Wall. Fuck that. This song sucked miserably. Any of the others would have been better.

Best Director:
Who should have won: George Miller. Mad Max was his Magnum Opus. It deserves to be recognized as such.
Who actually won: Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu. Horseshit. Miller deserved to walk away with this one. Innaritu is a wannabe Terrence Mallick who hates Superhero movies and the people who like them. Only a little bitter.

Best Actress:
Who should have won: I have no idea. I actually didn't see most of these films, and the one I did (Joy) did not deserve to have Oscars awarded.
Who actually won: Brie Larson. Room was a movie I had no interest in seeing. Still, good for her.

Best Actor:
Who should have won: Leonardo di Caprio. I know that people are sick of hearing about him and I know it was transparent Oscar-bait, but so be it, his performance was deserving.
Who actually won: Leonardo di Caprio. I'll be goddamned. The Academy finally let him out of the woods.

Best Picture:
Who should have won: Mad Max: Fury Road. It stands no chance of winning, but it was hands-down the best movie of the year.
Who actually won: Spotlight. I... honestly don't know what to say about this one. No, Spotlight was not the best movie of the year, but... it's not a TERRIBLE pick. I'm gonna call this one a wash.

#2 Re: Revenge of the Oscars: All-White Edition

Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 9:51 am
by Lys
There is absolutely no way that The Force Awakens deserved an award for best original score. Bluntly the score was the weakest parts of the whole movie. It was so utterly unmemorable that i barely noticed it even had a score. Like, i started reading comments about the movie on 4chan as soon as i got home, and someone mentioned that they felt like John Williams was phoning it in, and i realized that he was probably right, because i couldn't remember any of the movie's music at all! All of it had all just gone in one ear and out the other. The only impression it managed to make on me was by in its (very effective) absence in the scene when Han Solo dies, but beyond that the whole thing was a wash. (You've all seen the movie right? If not, don't read the previous sentence.) This in sharp contrast with any of the other six movies, which good or bad at least had consistently solid and memorable scores.

#3 Re: Revenge of the Oscars: All-White Edition

Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 6:16 pm
by LadyTevar
So.... who all bought Girl Scout Cookies? Anyone track that? :rofl: