#1 Oscar's the VI: The King is Dead, Long Live the King
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:55 pm
Harvey Weinstein is no more, and so we gather once more for...
General Havoc's Oscar Liveblog, VOLUME SIX!!!
Political Commentary moments: 11
Direct swipes at Donald Trump: 7
Desperate attempts to pretend that Hollywood no longer has a Sexual Harassment problem: 0
Notes:
Fallon is really hammering on the social stuff this time round. Good for him.
Someone should have talked Viola Davis out of that outfit and hairdo.
God Eva Marie Saint looks wonderful. Given that she's 91, in particular.
I always like it when the winners are so excited that they can barely speak.
Fallon has excellent flow as a host. I see why they brought him back.
God, I couldn't even recognize Mary J. Blige.
Yes, it's trite. Yes it's commercial. But goddammit the montages the Academy run still get me...
Porgs!
The guys who won for production design are wearing the most hideous clothes in existence.
I love Gael García Bernal, I really do, but the man cannot sing. Like, at all.
Rita Moreno looks even better than Eva Marie Saint.
The woman who won for Coco thanked her wife, the man his husband. And a thousand shitheads on the internet began screaming, no doubt.
Wonder Woman just crashed someone's screening with Luke Skywalker. I love it.
Common is basically declaring war on Donald Trump over here. Ah well, let him.
I see the Matt Damon running gag is still going strong.
The band was about to play off the couple who won best Original Song right up until he cited his dead mother. Well-caught.
Much as I try to hate Jane Fonda, I just can't.
Running Score:
Correct decisions on the part of witty and erudite academy members: 7
Pushes: 6
Criminal Travesties Against Nature and God: 7
Accurate predictions by the Genius-in-Residence: 11
Entirely unpredictable upsets: 9
Best Supporting Actor:
Who should have won: Sam Rockwell. Long overdue, and highly deserving for his turn in Three Billboards.
Who is GOING to win: Sam Rockwell. The academy loves to give awards for performances like these.
Who actually won: Sam Rockwell Damn right, Rockwell KILLED that role, and has long-deserved an Oscar.
Best Hairstyling/Makeup:
Who should have won: Wonder. A tour-de-force in Makeup design.
Who is GOING to win: Victoria and Abdul. The Academy cannot resist a costume drama.
Who actually won: Darkest Hour Goddammit, I should have seen this one coming. Ah well...
Best Costume Design:
Who should have won: Beauty and the Beast. I don't care how derivative it is, the movie looked gorgeous.
Who is GOING to win: The Phantom Thread. I mean, the film is about Couture.
Who actually won: The Phantom Thread I don't really object, but how predictable was that?
Best Documentary Feature:
Who should have won: No idea. I did not see any of these.
Who is GOING to win: Faces Places. The only one I've heard buzz around.
Who actually won: Icarus In fairness, this one got the filmmakers threatened with death by Putin's goons, so I have no objections here.
Best Sound Editing:
Who should have won: Blade Runner 2049. A brilliantly-produced soundtrack, edited well.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water. A film presently juggernauting its way to success.
Who actually won: Dunkirk Fuck that. Dunkirk barely had enough going on to qualify for sound editing at all.
Best Sound Mixing:
Who should have won: Blade Runner 2049. See Above.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water. See Above.
Who actually won: Dunkirk See Above.
Best Production Design:
Who should have won: The Shape of Water Honestly, no weak categories in this entry, but this one had my favorite pure design.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water The film will clean up somewhere.
Who actually won: The Shape of Water A well-deserved nod. I expect the first of several.
Best Foreign Language Film:
Who should have won: The Insult An exceptionally good movie about an exceptionally tough subject.
Who is GOING to win: Loveless Because the Academy loves the guy who made Leviathan for some reason.
Who actually won: A Fantastic Woman I... did not see this.
Best Supporting Actress:
Who should have won: Allison Janney An exquisite performance in an actor's movie.
Who is GOING to win: Allison Janney The buzz has all been her direction so far.
Who actually won: Allison Janney One of the best performances of the year. Awesomely done.
Best Animated Short:
Who should have won: No Idea. Didn't get a chance to see them this year. Damn flu bug...
Who is GOING to win: Dear Basketball. I have a suspicion that the Academy wants to appear relevant with this one.
Who actually won: Dear Basketball Hehehehehehehehe.
Best Animated Feature:
Who should have won: Coco. A return to form for Pixar.
Who is GOING to win: Coco. All the momentum is with it.
Who actually won: Coco An obvious pick perhaps. but worthwhile nonetheless.
Best Visual Effects:
Who should have won: Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2 If the Academy didn't hate Marvel so much, this would be an obvious choice.
Who is GOING to win: Star Wars: The Last Jedi Unfortunately, the Academy DOES hate Marvel, and so I expect them to take something a bit more classic.
Who actually won: Blade Runner 2049 Ugh. Look, Blade Runner's visuals were quite good, there's no doubt, but this is an award that traditionally goes to "best fun movie", and that wasn't this.
Best Editing:
Who should have won: I, Tanya It takes quite a bit for editing to stand out. This movie did.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water En-Route to a rampage.
Who actually won: Dunkirk Boooooooo! If this augurs some kind of cleanup for Dunkirk, I'm gonna get really mad.
Best Documentary Short Subject:
Who should have won: No idea. Missed all of these.
Who is GOING to win: No idea. Not exactly a category that gets lots of debate.
Who actually won: Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405 Interesting title at least.
Best Short Film:
Who should have won: No idea. The Oscars hit this year before I could go see the showcase.
Who is GOING to win: No idea. See above.
Who actually won: The Silent Child Good for them.
Best Adapted Screenplay:
Who should have won: Molly's Game or The Disaster Artist. The former because it was the best script of its category. The latter because I desperately want to see it.
Who is GOING to win: Call Me By Your Name. Because I never get to have nice things.
Who actually won: Call Me By Your Name. I mentioned that I don't get to have nice things.
Best Original Screenplay:
Who should have won: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri This was a masterful script, the core of an excellent film.
Who is GOING to win:: Get Out. My suspicion is that this is the bone they will throw Jordan Peele.
Who actually won: Get Out. How goddamn smart am I? I'm not even mad, frankly. Get Out had a wonderful script.
Best Cinematography:
Who should have won: Blade Runner 2049. If nothing else a tour-de-force by Villeneuve's cinematographers.
Who is GOING to win: Dunkirk. Because goddammit.
Who actually won: Blade Runner 2049 Well I'll be damned. I didn't think the Academy had it in them, but this is the thing this movie did best.
Best Original Score:
Who should have won: The Shape of Water. One of the only films in the category whose score I remember.
Who is GOING to win: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. I expect them to take one final chance to praise John Williams.
Who actually won: The Shape of Water Huh... well I expect The Shape of Water to clean up. Good call, Academy.
Best Original Song:
Who should have won: This is Me. The Oscar performance convinced me. And I like big productions like this.
Who is GOING to win: No idea. Song categories are notoriously hard to predict.
Who actually won: Remember Me No. No. Nononononono. This was not a bad song, but not good enough for this award.
Best Director:
Who should have won: Jordan Peele. One of the greatest debut directing performances I've seen in recent memory. Just don't make Under the Skin 2 as a sophomore effort, eh?
Who is GOING to win: Guillermo del Toro. The Academy looooooves del Toro, and loves Mexican directors in general, mostly because it makes Trump angry.
Who actually won: Guillermo del Toro Told ya. Honestly, del Toro deserved it years ago, and now wins a catchup award. That said, this was a great speech.
Best Actor:
Who should have won: Daniel Kaluuya. This is never going to happen, but I think he deserves consideration, at the least.
Who is GOING to win: Gary Oldman. And frankly, I can't even be mad. Oldman was terrific.
Who actually won: Gary Oldman Not surprising, and neither can I object. Well done, Gary.
Best Actress:
Who should have won: Margot Robbie. A career-making performance for her in I, Tonya, though I do not object to the actual selection that's going to be made.
Who is GOING to win: Frances McDormand. She was brilliant in this film, and will complete the sweep for the actor's movie.
Who actually won: Frances McDormand Yeah, this is still worthwhile. Even if I'd have given it to Robbie, I still approve of this one.
Best Picture:
Who should have won: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Fuck all the haters who whined about how the movie "condoned racism" or some stupid shit like that, THIS film was a goddamn masterpiece. With Wind River getting inexplicably snubbed, this is the best picture of all the candidates by a country mile. But it's not going to win because we can't have nuance and complexity in our films, now can we?
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water. I suppose it says something that the Nice Safe Choice for the Nice Safe Academy involves Beastiality, but nevertheless, that's what Shape of Water is.
Who actually won: The Shape of Water Look, I liked Shape of Water, I did. But it wasn't the best movie of the year.
General Havoc's Oscar Liveblog, VOLUME SIX!!!
Political Commentary moments: 11
Direct swipes at Donald Trump: 7
Desperate attempts to pretend that Hollywood no longer has a Sexual Harassment problem: 0
Notes:
Fallon is really hammering on the social stuff this time round. Good for him.
Someone should have talked Viola Davis out of that outfit and hairdo.
God Eva Marie Saint looks wonderful. Given that she's 91, in particular.
I always like it when the winners are so excited that they can barely speak.
Fallon has excellent flow as a host. I see why they brought him back.
God, I couldn't even recognize Mary J. Blige.
Yes, it's trite. Yes it's commercial. But goddammit the montages the Academy run still get me...
Porgs!
The guys who won for production design are wearing the most hideous clothes in existence.
I love Gael García Bernal, I really do, but the man cannot sing. Like, at all.
Rita Moreno looks even better than Eva Marie Saint.
The woman who won for Coco thanked her wife, the man his husband. And a thousand shitheads on the internet began screaming, no doubt.
Wonder Woman just crashed someone's screening with Luke Skywalker. I love it.
Common is basically declaring war on Donald Trump over here. Ah well, let him.
I see the Matt Damon running gag is still going strong.
The band was about to play off the couple who won best Original Song right up until he cited his dead mother. Well-caught.
Much as I try to hate Jane Fonda, I just can't.
Running Score:
Correct decisions on the part of witty and erudite academy members: 7
Pushes: 6
Criminal Travesties Against Nature and God: 7
Accurate predictions by the Genius-in-Residence: 11
Entirely unpredictable upsets: 9
Best Supporting Actor:
Who should have won: Sam Rockwell. Long overdue, and highly deserving for his turn in Three Billboards.
Who is GOING to win: Sam Rockwell. The academy loves to give awards for performances like these.
Who actually won: Sam Rockwell Damn right, Rockwell KILLED that role, and has long-deserved an Oscar.
Best Hairstyling/Makeup:
Who should have won: Wonder. A tour-de-force in Makeup design.
Who is GOING to win: Victoria and Abdul. The Academy cannot resist a costume drama.
Who actually won: Darkest Hour Goddammit, I should have seen this one coming. Ah well...
Best Costume Design:
Who should have won: Beauty and the Beast. I don't care how derivative it is, the movie looked gorgeous.
Who is GOING to win: The Phantom Thread. I mean, the film is about Couture.
Who actually won: The Phantom Thread I don't really object, but how predictable was that?
Best Documentary Feature:
Who should have won: No idea. I did not see any of these.
Who is GOING to win: Faces Places. The only one I've heard buzz around.
Who actually won: Icarus In fairness, this one got the filmmakers threatened with death by Putin's goons, so I have no objections here.
Best Sound Editing:
Who should have won: Blade Runner 2049. A brilliantly-produced soundtrack, edited well.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water. A film presently juggernauting its way to success.
Who actually won: Dunkirk Fuck that. Dunkirk barely had enough going on to qualify for sound editing at all.
Best Sound Mixing:
Who should have won: Blade Runner 2049. See Above.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water. See Above.
Who actually won: Dunkirk See Above.
Best Production Design:
Who should have won: The Shape of Water Honestly, no weak categories in this entry, but this one had my favorite pure design.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water The film will clean up somewhere.
Who actually won: The Shape of Water A well-deserved nod. I expect the first of several.
Best Foreign Language Film:
Who should have won: The Insult An exceptionally good movie about an exceptionally tough subject.
Who is GOING to win: Loveless Because the Academy loves the guy who made Leviathan for some reason.
Who actually won: A Fantastic Woman I... did not see this.
Best Supporting Actress:
Who should have won: Allison Janney An exquisite performance in an actor's movie.
Who is GOING to win: Allison Janney The buzz has all been her direction so far.
Who actually won: Allison Janney One of the best performances of the year. Awesomely done.
Best Animated Short:
Who should have won: No Idea. Didn't get a chance to see them this year. Damn flu bug...
Who is GOING to win: Dear Basketball. I have a suspicion that the Academy wants to appear relevant with this one.
Who actually won: Dear Basketball Hehehehehehehehe.
Best Animated Feature:
Who should have won: Coco. A return to form for Pixar.
Who is GOING to win: Coco. All the momentum is with it.
Who actually won: Coco An obvious pick perhaps. but worthwhile nonetheless.
Best Visual Effects:
Who should have won: Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2 If the Academy didn't hate Marvel so much, this would be an obvious choice.
Who is GOING to win: Star Wars: The Last Jedi Unfortunately, the Academy DOES hate Marvel, and so I expect them to take something a bit more classic.
Who actually won: Blade Runner 2049 Ugh. Look, Blade Runner's visuals were quite good, there's no doubt, but this is an award that traditionally goes to "best fun movie", and that wasn't this.
Best Editing:
Who should have won: I, Tanya It takes quite a bit for editing to stand out. This movie did.
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water En-Route to a rampage.
Who actually won: Dunkirk Boooooooo! If this augurs some kind of cleanup for Dunkirk, I'm gonna get really mad.
Best Documentary Short Subject:
Who should have won: No idea. Missed all of these.
Who is GOING to win: No idea. Not exactly a category that gets lots of debate.
Who actually won: Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405 Interesting title at least.
Best Short Film:
Who should have won: No idea. The Oscars hit this year before I could go see the showcase.
Who is GOING to win: No idea. See above.
Who actually won: The Silent Child Good for them.
Best Adapted Screenplay:
Who should have won: Molly's Game or The Disaster Artist. The former because it was the best script of its category. The latter because I desperately want to see it.
Who is GOING to win: Call Me By Your Name. Because I never get to have nice things.
Who actually won: Call Me By Your Name. I mentioned that I don't get to have nice things.
Best Original Screenplay:
Who should have won: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri This was a masterful script, the core of an excellent film.
Who is GOING to win:: Get Out. My suspicion is that this is the bone they will throw Jordan Peele.
Who actually won: Get Out. How goddamn smart am I? I'm not even mad, frankly. Get Out had a wonderful script.
Best Cinematography:
Who should have won: Blade Runner 2049. If nothing else a tour-de-force by Villeneuve's cinematographers.
Who is GOING to win: Dunkirk. Because goddammit.
Who actually won: Blade Runner 2049 Well I'll be damned. I didn't think the Academy had it in them, but this is the thing this movie did best.
Best Original Score:
Who should have won: The Shape of Water. One of the only films in the category whose score I remember.
Who is GOING to win: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. I expect them to take one final chance to praise John Williams.
Who actually won: The Shape of Water Huh... well I expect The Shape of Water to clean up. Good call, Academy.
Best Original Song:
Who should have won: This is Me. The Oscar performance convinced me. And I like big productions like this.
Who is GOING to win: No idea. Song categories are notoriously hard to predict.
Who actually won: Remember Me No. No. Nononononono. This was not a bad song, but not good enough for this award.
Best Director:
Who should have won: Jordan Peele. One of the greatest debut directing performances I've seen in recent memory. Just don't make Under the Skin 2 as a sophomore effort, eh?
Who is GOING to win: Guillermo del Toro. The Academy looooooves del Toro, and loves Mexican directors in general, mostly because it makes Trump angry.
Who actually won: Guillermo del Toro Told ya. Honestly, del Toro deserved it years ago, and now wins a catchup award. That said, this was a great speech.
Best Actor:
Who should have won: Daniel Kaluuya. This is never going to happen, but I think he deserves consideration, at the least.
Who is GOING to win: Gary Oldman. And frankly, I can't even be mad. Oldman was terrific.
Who actually won: Gary Oldman Not surprising, and neither can I object. Well done, Gary.
Best Actress:
Who should have won: Margot Robbie. A career-making performance for her in I, Tonya, though I do not object to the actual selection that's going to be made.
Who is GOING to win: Frances McDormand. She was brilliant in this film, and will complete the sweep for the actor's movie.
Who actually won: Frances McDormand Yeah, this is still worthwhile. Even if I'd have given it to Robbie, I still approve of this one.
Best Picture:
Who should have won: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Fuck all the haters who whined about how the movie "condoned racism" or some stupid shit like that, THIS film was a goddamn masterpiece. With Wind River getting inexplicably snubbed, this is the best picture of all the candidates by a country mile. But it's not going to win because we can't have nuance and complexity in our films, now can we?
Who is GOING to win: The Shape of Water. I suppose it says something that the Nice Safe Choice for the Nice Safe Academy involves Beastiality, but nevertheless, that's what Shape of Water is.
Who actually won: The Shape of Water Look, I liked Shape of Water, I did. But it wasn't the best movie of the year.