I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
No Sex Tonight
Moderator: frigidmagi
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Robert Walper
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#1 No Sex Tonight
Last edited by Robert Walper on Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
#2
*laughs gleefully* Well that is one way to get one's point across...
[img=left]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/ ... rlysig.jpg[/img]
Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
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Comrade Tortoise
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#3
Wow... if walper actually did that, I think I just developed a sort of grudging respect for him.
Wait... Walper..married... WTF?
Wait... Walper..married... WTF?
"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution."
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
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Robert Walper
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#4
Jeez, CT, give me some credit! Surely you think I'm at least smart enough to avoid such...*shudders*...commitment...Comrade Tortoise wrote:Wow... if walper actually did that, I think I just developed a sort of grudging respect for him.
Wait... Walper..married... WTF?
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Comrade Tortoise
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#5
Then next time, I suggest you post a link or disclaimer. I have poor sensors for such things.Robert Walper wrote:Jeez, CT, give me some credit! Surely you think I'm at least smart enough to avoid such...*shudders*...commitment...Comrade Tortoise wrote:Wow... if walper actually did that, I think I just developed a sort of grudging respect for him.
Wait... Walper..married... WTF?
"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution."
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
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Robert Walper
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- Posts: 1087
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:37 am
- 19
#6
Disclaimer I guess would be the best I could do. The majority of jokes and such I get in my email from family or friends.Comrade Tortoise wrote:Then next time, I suggest you post a link or disclaimer. I have poor sensors for such things.Robert Walper wrote:Jeez, CT, give me some credit! Surely you think I'm at least smart enough to avoid such...*shudders*...commitment...Comrade Tortoise wrote:Wow... if walper actually did that, I think I just developed a sort of grudging respect for him.
Wait... Walper..married... WTF?
But hey, if they make me look smarter or more respectable...I could use all the help I can get, right?
