An Australian, an Irishman and a Liverpudlian are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: "My God, it's Jesus!"
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: "My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!"
Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the pint of amber nectar. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock: "Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle."
Jesus then approaches the Liverpudlian who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God. "What's wrong my son?" says Jesus.
The Liverpudlian shouts back, "f*** off, I'm on disability benefit!"
At the Bar...
Moderator: frigidmagi
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#1 At the Bar...
[img=left]http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a116/ ... vilwar.jpg[/img]Dakarne: That's no moon...
Dakarne: it's London.
Thank god for Tennessee Harold Ford protecting us from nuclear vegemite. - Petrosjko
Major Reilly: Air Command
"They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine" - The Doctor
Dakarne: it's London.
Thank god for Tennessee Harold Ford protecting us from nuclear vegemite. - Petrosjko
Major Reilly: Air Command
"They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine" - The Doctor
#2
ouch that's a mean one ...funny though lol....
[img=left]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/ ... rlysig.jpg[/img]
Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
Terminally Flirtatious : Gotham Grrl : Imp-kin : Comm Major : NOT a Blonde : Empyrean Night~Good Friends don't let friends die
"Oh, pipe down! It's not like you've never been bound and gagged before." - Harley Quinn.
- frigidmagi
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#3
Hey if I saw the messah at a bar, I'd buy him a drink.
"it takes two sides to end a war but only one to start one. And those who do not have swords may still die upon them." Tolken
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#4
Last time I saw Jesus at a bar he bought me a bottle of tequila...
Now granted I was in Tiuana but that's beside the point...
Now granted I was in Tiuana but that's beside the point...
Saint Annihilus - Patron Saint of Dealing with Stupid Customers
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#5
[img=left]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v721/ ... giite1.png[/img]"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage "Mythbusters"
"Rule 4: Blades don't need reloading."
-Zombie survival guide
"What is burning people but stabbing them with fire?"
-Frigidmagi
-Adam Savage "Mythbusters"
"Rule 4: Blades don't need reloading."
-Zombie survival guide
"What is burning people but stabbing them with fire?"
-Frigidmagi
#6
He's my favorite Jesus.Shark Bait wrote:http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20030420.html
Oh drunk and bitter jesus your my favorite savior!
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