This was an actual memo sent to all personell in the ER department I work in. Man we got some creative people here.
Note: Any medical terminalogy you wish to have clarified please don't hesitate to ask.
It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.
1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).
2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to shit), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."
8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).
I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.
"Sir, are you classified as human?"
"Negative, I am a meat popsicle."
Corbin Dallas - The Fifth Element
Thank god for Tennessee Harold Ford protecting us from nuclear vegemite. - Petrosjko
Major Reilly: Air Command
"They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine" - The Doctor
The Village Idiot wrote:
4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).
HAHA oh man I laughed so hard I had tears running down the side of my face. But, I have to ask can you still use the term AGA (Acute Gravity attack: patient fell over)?
The Village Idiot wrote:
4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).
HAHA oh man I laughed so hard I had tears running down the side of my face. But, I have to ask can you still use the term AGA (Acute Gravity attack: patient fell over)?
Yes...because it is a descripter of an event, not a patient diagnosis.
We also get to keep the Silver Braclet Award(Pt brought in, or taken out in handcuffs)
"Sir, are you classified as human?"
"Negative, I am a meat popsicle."
Corbin Dallas - The Fifth Element
'I wonder how far the barometer sunk.'-'All der way. Trust me on dis.'
'Go ahead. Bake my quiche'.
'Undead or alive, you're coming with me.'
'Detritus?'-'Yessir?'-'Never go to Klatch'.-'Yessir.'
'Many fine old manuscripts in that place, I believe. Without price, I'm told.'-'Yes, sir. Certainly worthless, sir.'-'Is it possible you misunderstood what I just said, Commander?'
'Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a sword a little'
'Run away, and live to run away another day'-The Rincewind principle
'Hello, inner child. I'm the inner babysitter.'
Thank god for Tennessee Harold Ford protecting us from nuclear vegemite. - Petrosjko
Major Reilly: Air Command
"They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine" - The Doctor
