#1 Reviewed: The Little Mermaid II
Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:12 pm
It is a sad fact that this author has far too much free time on his hands. As a public service, this commences a series of reviews of ill-concieved Disney sequels of the Michael Eisner era. Walt Disney was not at all fond of sequels; he believed in the idea of "happily ever after." However, cryogenically-stored zombies cannot intervene when new business paradigms emerge, and Michael Eisner, CEO of Disney until 2005 was firmly in the mold of the slick, quasi-Ferengi 80's executive. Starting in the mid-1990s, Disney began churning out sequels to their successful animated feature films. These films were produced at a much lower budget, and were solidly aimed at young children, instead of a more general market. None of these films were even close to the quality of the originals along several vectors, and should be avoided at all cost except maybe by those who relish the idea of distressing mediocrity. We begin with the 2000 direct-to-DVD sequel, The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea.
----------Synopsis----------
The film begins shortly after the conclusion of the first film, although no specific timeline is given. Ariel has just given birth to a daughter, Melody. The celebration, attended by the first musical number of the film, is held on a ship at sea so that among other people, Triton can attend (who gifts Melody with an amulet). Things are going... swimmingly until the party is crashed by Morgana, the sister of Ursula, who apparently won the lottery vis-a-vis a genetic predisposition to thyroid problems. Defeated by Triton's magic and Ariel's surprising knowledge of Newtonian mechanics, Morgana escapes swearing vengeance as is required by English common law. Knowing that Melody will be hunted if she is allowed to enter the ocean, Ariel resolves to keep her daughter from knowing of her Merfolk heritage. An enormous wall is constructed around the castle to keep Melody from the sea (Presumably numerous peasants died constructing the wall, but they are not seen).
HDTV Fun Fact: Laid end-to-end, the stretch marks on Ariel's stomach would reach the orbit of the International Space Station.
Twelve years later, Melody is seen swimming in the ocean, breaking the surface in a very familiar manner. She then proceeds to ask Sebastian "what's kickin'," indicating that in this universe, the technological breakthroughs that led to hip-hop occured quite some time before ours. Underwater, Melody discovers the amulet, which was discarded at the beginning. Simultaneously, Morgana discovers this, and begins plotting. Melody sneaks back into the castle, where a party is being held, attended by snobby and ill-mannered children. We then see Ariel in a brief solitary moment, dipping her toes into the sea, smelling the air, and possibly experiencing the first brine-induced orgasm. Melody talks with her mother, and is about to reveal her desire to go beyond the wall, when both are interrupted by a strangely oafish Prince Eric, who may have had throat surgery since the first film (more on this later).
At the party, Melody is asked to dance by a young boy, and a brief waltz commences, with very generic music by some sort of Johann Strauss II-derived supercomputer. Sebastian, caught up in Melody's dress, accidentally clamps down on the unlucky chum's finger, causing chaos, and a second attempt at arthropodicide by the chef (still working at the castle for some reason). Embarassed, Melody runs to her room, followed by Ariel. A discussion about *sigh* generic tween problems is interrupted by Melody opening the amulet and seeing a brief glimpse of Atlantica (as well as an advertisement for Bob's Wild Wacky Hydrothermal Giant Tube Worm Emporium). As this means Melody has entered the ocean, Ariel enters a maternal rage, sending her daughter out of the room crying. Finding a small rowboat, Melody decides to run away and discover her undersea roots.
Loli haet!
Melody is intercepted by one of Morgana's minions, who informs her that she can help Melody find out about her origins, and is towed by two menacing-looking rays towards the icy polar home of the sea witch. At Morgana's hideout, Melody is turned into a mermaid through the last remnants of Ursula's magic. At the same time, Ariel and Eric speak to Triton, who agrees to transform Ariel back into a mermaid so that she can more effectively search for her daughter. Back in the arctic, Melody sings about being a mermaid (ugh). After a dreadfully pedestrian musical number, Morgana reveals to Melody that the spell is temporary, and the only way to make it permanent is to find Triton's trident, which Morgana claims was originally hers and was stolen. On her way to Atlantica, where the heist will take place, Melody meets Tip and Dash, a penguin and walrus pair. There's something oddly familiar about these two (see analysis). They join Melody, and begin another musical number.
Ariel makes her way to Atlantica and meets with her father, as well as Flounder, who is a bit different from the first film (again, see analysis). He has five children, one seemingly afflicted with Autism of some sort. Melody reaches the city at about the same time, and mingles with a surprisingly well-built mer-tween and his two friends, a girl and a mer-asian. Melody manages to take the trident while Triton is away, and starts the journey back to Morgana's Fortress of Decrepitude. Ariel spots the pair of evil-looking Rays, and follows them in the same direction. At the lair, mother and daughter meet, but Ariel's persistent deception regarding Melody's heritage is laid bare, and Melody gives the trident to Morgana, who lapses into generic sea-witch evil. Melody is imprisoned underwater as Morgana leaves to gloat, Ariel firmly in tentacle (Oh, the possibilities... but I digress).
"Want to see my obsessively extensive collection of Power Rangers merchandise, or my four hundred-chapter Power Ranger fanfiction?
After consolidating her power with zapping and what-not, Morgana is interrupted by Melody, who snatches the trident and returns it to Triton, who encases her in ice and sends her to the bottom of the sea (again, analysis). Everyone makes up, there's a final musical number, and the film ends.
----------Analysis----------
We've been here before... The twin characters Tip and Dash set off familiarity sirens, and for very good reason. A smaller, fast-talking hyperactive misfit, and a larger, slower, and strangely adorable companion? HMM THAT SEEMS FAMILIAR.
"Hey, Timon. It's just a little lion. Look at him. He's so cute, and all alone! Can we keep him? "
It's not just them. In many ways, Tip and Dash are merely a symptom of an entirely derivative movie. The plot of the Little Mermaid 2 is pretty much exactly the plot of the first movie, except the direction is land -> sea instead of the reverse. Rebellious daughter disobeys parents, constricting social environment, finds freedom in new world. Unlike the first film, however, there is no charm or novelty in the story, and Melody is a very poor protagonist. "What's kickin'?" Seriously? It's hard to relate to her in any way, unless I suppose you're a girl between the ages of 9 and 14. This contrasts very poorly with the first film; Ariel's plight was something almost universal that just about anyone can relate to, or could remember a time when similar events happened. Sub-par animation is also a handicap in this respect: One of the primary reasons why Ariel was such an interesting and engrossing character was the incredibly expressive animation, which was necessitated by not having dialogue. When Ariel collapses and silently sobs on the dock as Eric's wedding ship leaves port, the visceral impact is brutal. Perhaps it's also the absence of a love story, which was probably a marketing decision. This film just seems like a retread of the original plot without the charm or gravity, mixed with characters from other Disney films.
...Only as good as its Villain: Morgana is the long-lost sister of Ursula, who resented her older, more powerful relative. Granted, Pat Carrol was kind enough to reprise her role and provide the voice for Morgana, but this villain just falls flat. Ursula was originally inspired by Divine, a performance artist from the 1980s.
"My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for, to help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself, poor souls with no one else to turn to."
Compared to Ursula's kitschy, campy John Waters-style charm, Morgana just seems like a generic old woman who wants revenge. Besides, she didn't even like her sister. Why would she want to avenge her, as stated at the beginning of the film? It's like going through the motions, and her plan really didn't make a lot of sense anyway. After all, what would stop Melody from taking the trident for herself? Why leave so much to chance? It doesn't help that she just doesn't feel all that evil. There's not a lot of gravitas behind this villain, and even on top she seems kind of banal. Instead of just zapping Triton first, she uses the trident's magic to make everyone bow to her. How vain. The key to being a successful bad guy is being able to prioritize and put ego stroking below completion of the mission. Morgana would have been well-advised to watch any Bond film before undertaking her ill-conceived plan. Oh well, at least there wasn't any earth-shattering superweapon.
Character changes: What irks me the most in this film is the way Ariel changed. In the first film, she's a rebellious, independent young woman who is ready to put everything on the line in order to win true love. A fundamentally honest and pure heart questing for completion, something that is undeniably attractive and appealing. In the second film, we see a parental figure approaching tyranny. It was not enough to simply communicate to her daughter the risk of going into the ocean. No, a massive wall had to be built around the castle, an activity usually reserved for paranoid dictators. Ariel deceived her daughter about so many fundamental issues, and didn't really seem that remorseful about it.
Ariel confers with her general staff.
It doesn't stop there; Eric manages to become even more generic, with a hint of sitcom-style incompetent fatherhood. Flounder is just plain lame. It's the change to Ariel which drives me insane, and causes me to reject this movie as canon. It's not consistent at all for the character from the original film to do what she did; it's hypocrisy of the highest order and in many respects one wonders if claiming Morgana as the villian of this film isn't just a little bit hasty. To put this drastic change in context, imagine Belle mutating into a hypersexual square-jawed misogynist who just can't stop singing about how awesome she is. It may very well be that we are doomed to become our parents, but in this case, the Triton of the first film compares favorably to the Ariel of the second.
Minor issues: This movie gets several bad science awards for putting a penguin in the same ecosystem as a walrus, among other things.
Overall, this was just a terrible movie. The animation was sub-par compared to any feature film, the protagonist sucked, the antagonist sucked, and the musical numbers sucked. They felt like they were written in some outsourced customer-service firm in Hyderabad. If you have any fond memories of the first film, do not see this movie, or at the very least try and accept that this is like the Star Trek mirror universe, and the character's beards are obscured by some kind of holographic trickery.
It's just all-around crap.
----------Synopsis----------
The film begins shortly after the conclusion of the first film, although no specific timeline is given. Ariel has just given birth to a daughter, Melody. The celebration, attended by the first musical number of the film, is held on a ship at sea so that among other people, Triton can attend (who gifts Melody with an amulet). Things are going... swimmingly until the party is crashed by Morgana, the sister of Ursula, who apparently won the lottery vis-a-vis a genetic predisposition to thyroid problems. Defeated by Triton's magic and Ariel's surprising knowledge of Newtonian mechanics, Morgana escapes swearing vengeance as is required by English common law. Knowing that Melody will be hunted if she is allowed to enter the ocean, Ariel resolves to keep her daughter from knowing of her Merfolk heritage. An enormous wall is constructed around the castle to keep Melody from the sea (Presumably numerous peasants died constructing the wall, but they are not seen).
HDTV Fun Fact: Laid end-to-end, the stretch marks on Ariel's stomach would reach the orbit of the International Space Station.
Twelve years later, Melody is seen swimming in the ocean, breaking the surface in a very familiar manner. She then proceeds to ask Sebastian "what's kickin'," indicating that in this universe, the technological breakthroughs that led to hip-hop occured quite some time before ours. Underwater, Melody discovers the amulet, which was discarded at the beginning. Simultaneously, Morgana discovers this, and begins plotting. Melody sneaks back into the castle, where a party is being held, attended by snobby and ill-mannered children. We then see Ariel in a brief solitary moment, dipping her toes into the sea, smelling the air, and possibly experiencing the first brine-induced orgasm. Melody talks with her mother, and is about to reveal her desire to go beyond the wall, when both are interrupted by a strangely oafish Prince Eric, who may have had throat surgery since the first film (more on this later).
At the party, Melody is asked to dance by a young boy, and a brief waltz commences, with very generic music by some sort of Johann Strauss II-derived supercomputer. Sebastian, caught up in Melody's dress, accidentally clamps down on the unlucky chum's finger, causing chaos, and a second attempt at arthropodicide by the chef (still working at the castle for some reason). Embarassed, Melody runs to her room, followed by Ariel. A discussion about *sigh* generic tween problems is interrupted by Melody opening the amulet and seeing a brief glimpse of Atlantica (as well as an advertisement for Bob's Wild Wacky Hydrothermal Giant Tube Worm Emporium). As this means Melody has entered the ocean, Ariel enters a maternal rage, sending her daughter out of the room crying. Finding a small rowboat, Melody decides to run away and discover her undersea roots.
Loli haet!
Melody is intercepted by one of Morgana's minions, who informs her that she can help Melody find out about her origins, and is towed by two menacing-looking rays towards the icy polar home of the sea witch. At Morgana's hideout, Melody is turned into a mermaid through the last remnants of Ursula's magic. At the same time, Ariel and Eric speak to Triton, who agrees to transform Ariel back into a mermaid so that she can more effectively search for her daughter. Back in the arctic, Melody sings about being a mermaid (ugh). After a dreadfully pedestrian musical number, Morgana reveals to Melody that the spell is temporary, and the only way to make it permanent is to find Triton's trident, which Morgana claims was originally hers and was stolen. On her way to Atlantica, where the heist will take place, Melody meets Tip and Dash, a penguin and walrus pair. There's something oddly familiar about these two (see analysis). They join Melody, and begin another musical number.
Ariel makes her way to Atlantica and meets with her father, as well as Flounder, who is a bit different from the first film (again, see analysis). He has five children, one seemingly afflicted with Autism of some sort. Melody reaches the city at about the same time, and mingles with a surprisingly well-built mer-tween and his two friends, a girl and a mer-asian. Melody manages to take the trident while Triton is away, and starts the journey back to Morgana's Fortress of Decrepitude. Ariel spots the pair of evil-looking Rays, and follows them in the same direction. At the lair, mother and daughter meet, but Ariel's persistent deception regarding Melody's heritage is laid bare, and Melody gives the trident to Morgana, who lapses into generic sea-witch evil. Melody is imprisoned underwater as Morgana leaves to gloat, Ariel firmly in tentacle (Oh, the possibilities... but I digress).
"Want to see my obsessively extensive collection of Power Rangers merchandise, or my four hundred-chapter Power Ranger fanfiction?
After consolidating her power with zapping and what-not, Morgana is interrupted by Melody, who snatches the trident and returns it to Triton, who encases her in ice and sends her to the bottom of the sea (again, analysis). Everyone makes up, there's a final musical number, and the film ends.
----------Analysis----------
We've been here before... The twin characters Tip and Dash set off familiarity sirens, and for very good reason. A smaller, fast-talking hyperactive misfit, and a larger, slower, and strangely adorable companion? HMM THAT SEEMS FAMILIAR.
"Hey, Timon. It's just a little lion. Look at him. He's so cute, and all alone! Can we keep him? "
It's not just them. In many ways, Tip and Dash are merely a symptom of an entirely derivative movie. The plot of the Little Mermaid 2 is pretty much exactly the plot of the first movie, except the direction is land -> sea instead of the reverse. Rebellious daughter disobeys parents, constricting social environment, finds freedom in new world. Unlike the first film, however, there is no charm or novelty in the story, and Melody is a very poor protagonist. "What's kickin'?" Seriously? It's hard to relate to her in any way, unless I suppose you're a girl between the ages of 9 and 14. This contrasts very poorly with the first film; Ariel's plight was something almost universal that just about anyone can relate to, or could remember a time when similar events happened. Sub-par animation is also a handicap in this respect: One of the primary reasons why Ariel was such an interesting and engrossing character was the incredibly expressive animation, which was necessitated by not having dialogue. When Ariel collapses and silently sobs on the dock as Eric's wedding ship leaves port, the visceral impact is brutal. Perhaps it's also the absence of a love story, which was probably a marketing decision. This film just seems like a retread of the original plot without the charm or gravity, mixed with characters from other Disney films.
...Only as good as its Villain: Morgana is the long-lost sister of Ursula, who resented her older, more powerful relative. Granted, Pat Carrol was kind enough to reprise her role and provide the voice for Morgana, but this villain just falls flat. Ursula was originally inspired by Divine, a performance artist from the 1980s.
"My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for, to help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself, poor souls with no one else to turn to."
Compared to Ursula's kitschy, campy John Waters-style charm, Morgana just seems like a generic old woman who wants revenge. Besides, she didn't even like her sister. Why would she want to avenge her, as stated at the beginning of the film? It's like going through the motions, and her plan really didn't make a lot of sense anyway. After all, what would stop Melody from taking the trident for herself? Why leave so much to chance? It doesn't help that she just doesn't feel all that evil. There's not a lot of gravitas behind this villain, and even on top she seems kind of banal. Instead of just zapping Triton first, she uses the trident's magic to make everyone bow to her. How vain. The key to being a successful bad guy is being able to prioritize and put ego stroking below completion of the mission. Morgana would have been well-advised to watch any Bond film before undertaking her ill-conceived plan. Oh well, at least there wasn't any earth-shattering superweapon.
Character changes: What irks me the most in this film is the way Ariel changed. In the first film, she's a rebellious, independent young woman who is ready to put everything on the line in order to win true love. A fundamentally honest and pure heart questing for completion, something that is undeniably attractive and appealing. In the second film, we see a parental figure approaching tyranny. It was not enough to simply communicate to her daughter the risk of going into the ocean. No, a massive wall had to be built around the castle, an activity usually reserved for paranoid dictators. Ariel deceived her daughter about so many fundamental issues, and didn't really seem that remorseful about it.
Ariel confers with her general staff.
It doesn't stop there; Eric manages to become even more generic, with a hint of sitcom-style incompetent fatherhood. Flounder is just plain lame. It's the change to Ariel which drives me insane, and causes me to reject this movie as canon. It's not consistent at all for the character from the original film to do what she did; it's hypocrisy of the highest order and in many respects one wonders if claiming Morgana as the villian of this film isn't just a little bit hasty. To put this drastic change in context, imagine Belle mutating into a hypersexual square-jawed misogynist who just can't stop singing about how awesome she is. It may very well be that we are doomed to become our parents, but in this case, the Triton of the first film compares favorably to the Ariel of the second.
Minor issues: This movie gets several bad science awards for putting a penguin in the same ecosystem as a walrus, among other things.
Overall, this was just a terrible movie. The animation was sub-par compared to any feature film, the protagonist sucked, the antagonist sucked, and the musical numbers sucked. They felt like they were written in some outsourced customer-service firm in Hyderabad. If you have any fond memories of the first film, do not see this movie, or at the very least try and accept that this is like the Star Trek mirror universe, and the character's beards are obscured by some kind of holographic trickery.
It's just all-around crap.