Hotfoot and Marcao see: The Expendables

[Hotfoot]

While Marcao and I don't get to see movies together as often as we used to, something about him having a girlfriend, like that story would hold water, we do get to see the occasional flick together. Usually ones that don't hold up on the standard chick-acceptable list.

Movies such as The Expendables.

Now, Marcao and I have decided that most anything with Jason Statham in it is bound to be pretty awesome, and Stallone has a pretty decent track record as well. The rest of the guys? Well, I mean come on. This had to be at the very least cool, right? I'll get into that.

I'm not going to lie to you, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger have about as much screen time as the trailers indicated, about five minutes, a little less for Arnie. The scene, however, was good and having three of the greatest action movie stars of the 80's together in one room was pretty awesome.

Now before I go any deeper I want to state up front that I had a blast at this movie, and Marcao seemed to as well. There are simply some great parts to it and I'm glad it was made. It was a fun movie and, while I'm sure I'll catch some hell for this, it was more fun for me to watch than Inception.

That said, this movie gets a solid B. Inception got an A. What's that? I said I had more fun at this flick than Inception, but Inception got a better grade? Yeah, I can do that, and here's why. Inception was a better movie. The Expendables engaged me more, even though I knew it was technically a worse movie. That said, I'm stopping the comparison there. These are two very different movies and to compare them is to miss the point. Final verdict, it's worth watching if you like action movies. I can't recommend a Full Price to everyone, but it's worth at least a Matinée.

This is going to be as spoiler free as I can make it, but you guys know the deal, you're adults, and this is your warning, from here on in I discuss the basics of the movie.

First off, the beginning was very much an homage to 80's action flicks. It felt it, down to the font used for the opening credits. From there, however, the movie slows down somewhat. They spend some time trying to establish the characters, but for a while, it really felt sort of stiff and forced, without a lot of chemistry between the various actors. Things are laid out and the movie trucks along to the main plot with some nice moments along the way.

Enter the main plot. Without getting to far into it, it's reasonably well done, but there are a few problems. When the movie finally decides to kick into high gear, it's like it skipped from second to fourth. The actors start to gel together more at this point, and it's like at this point in the production everyone started becoming friends and the chemistry works much better this time around, mostly because we get to see more than just Stallone and Statham palling around. Terry Crews is made of awesome and win here folks.

There's a big jump in the movie that, frankly, was disappointing. I damn well expect it to be in a director's cut unrated DVD or something, but come on Sly! This was the send-up to end all send-up to the action movies that all these guys loved to make! The movie is already under two hours, give me the 10-20 minutes that got cut!

The action is pretty damn sweet and fun to watch even though a little bit (not much, honest) of shakey-cam bullshit got in. A few sequences could have done with some better effects, admittedly, but they didn't detract that much from the overall enjoyment I had from this movie. The last forty minutes or so were pretty damn awesome, and had there been another twenty, the score would have certainly gone up.

The movie honestly needed to be a little shorter in the beginning, should have focused on more of the team, and, well, frankly needed a little sprucing up of the dialog. The last part of the movie was clearly shorter than it could have been, and frankly would have been better if they had drawn it out. As I said above, it's not a perfect movie, but it is damn fun for us action fans.

Marcao might have just loved it for the "Armegeddon Gun", I don't know, though admittedly it was pretty sweet.

Oh, and on a final note, the trailers:
*Ben Affleck may just redeem himself as an actor.
*Fuck M. Night. Can we just put him in an elevator with four angry benders?
*Oh, hey, it's another exorcism movie. Oh look Eli Roth is attached. Meh.
*Saw 3D: Best for Last? Don't tease, you fuckers. You'd better be telling the fucking truth!
*Seth Rogan? You know, I wouldn't be mad if he actually looked like he could pull off the role, but no, I refuse to accept this shit! It's like the Spirit all over again, but replacing the Whores with jokes that didn't make it into Pineapple Express. What next? The Shadow, starring Nick Cage? Bad Hollywood!

Honestly I'd make a joke about Ben Affleck being the best of the worst, but his movie actually looks like it could be pretty good.

Oh, wait, I forgot. Machete. Yeah, I guess I'm seeing that one. Gotta love how Cheech Marin got Don Johnson a job this time around.

[frigidmagi]

I saw it tonight and I'm giving it a C+. It's a slightly better then average action movie. I enjoyed it and there were a few interesting characters. Mickey Rourke and Jason Statham did real creditable performances in this one I thought and Jason's fight in the basketball court was one of the best fights in the movie. Jet Li did okay with what he was given but he isn't given much. Stallone was meh at best. I was kinda interested in Charisma Carpenter's character but she was on screen for 10 minutes and mainly served to let us see Jason's character.

What hurts this movie is

A: Overuse of the damn shakey cam. Quit it Hollywood, you clearly don't know how to use the damn thing.

B: Big action Climax in the dark, with everyone wearing black. I bitched about this in last Airbender and I'll bitch about it here. I can't be wowed by the action IF I CAN'T SEE THE FUCKING ACTION!

C: Beating up Jet Li so Sly can look good. In fact for me Sly really was a drag on the movie. I'm sorry Sly, I'll always treasure Rocky and Rambo but it might be time to let go man.

I did enjoy Willis, Stallone and Arnould in a room together and Arnould and Sly giving each other shit. The line "He wants to be President" was good for me. You'll always have my vote Arnould.

In the end Predators did a better job giving me distinct separate characters working as a team. It also gave me action scenes I could actually see. That's why it got a B and Expendables gets a C+.