Blood Bowl!

[Josh]

Big mean ones. They're not as fast as Necromantic Werewolves, but they frenzy and are very punchy, stronger than the average character. They're pretty much the rocks of the Norse team. Norse also get a Yeti.



Norse Ulfwerener.

I was looking for a Yeti image when I got derailed by this NSFW awesomeness.

[B4UTRUST]

They're Get of Fenris, naturally. The Norse also get Berserkers I believe.

[Josh]

Oh yes. Berserkers are basically human missiles. Either they're going to take you down, or they're going to splat.

[Josh]

[youtube][/youtube]

Found the appropriate song for when Scottie decided to rampage on my poor hobbitses last night.

[Josh]

Okay, we have found that those who own the Legendary Edition can also join our league, they just can't play the new teams.

So by all means, join the league and join the fun.

[Josh]

Credit where credit is due, that was a beautiful ass-kicking. My poor, poor Norsemen.

Well except my berserker. He's in Valhalla drinking with Hotfoot's lineman.

The rest are just a bunch of cripped-up losers.

[B4UTRUST]

After the abuse you gave my greenskins this is my tiny violin playing for you. Do you hear it Josh? Do you?

[Josh]

Perhaps if you got a larger violin I could hear it over the sound of the crippled witch elf on the corner rattling her cup for donations.

[B4UTRUST]

She's collecting donations for all the widows and orphans pension fund for all the dead hobbits.

[Josh]

I haven't even looked to see if there's an observer mode. You would've loved seeing my poor slobs get shithammered. I was down to five guys on the field for each kickoff in the second half.

I did manage to score a consolation touchdown, though.

[Josh]

Okay, to do a spectator bit just go to Community->Live and you can watch the games.

[Josh]

Way to trip and eat your own chainsaw, fucker.

At least I got the satisfaction of stomping a Khorne Daemon team out of existence. My team should be called the Banishers or some shit.

[B4UTRUST]

Yes, it was indeed a sad sad showing for the Children of the Khorne. They had their asses handed to them left, right and center field all game. By the time the final whistle sounded they had 4 players that could stand up well enough to even stay in the game. And who was the responsible party for this utter disgrace of blood bowl? The Gobbos. The freaking tiny cheating green-skinned stunty, runty, dodgy bullshit gobbos. The Buttered God's followers fell hard last night and didn't get up. In the end, He Who Requires Salt and Pepper Before Consumption decided that they were not worthy of his name and shuffled what remained of them off the mortal coil.

However, that being said, Nurgle's Unwashed Masses made an impressive showing ending in a 2-1 victory over the more experienced gobbo team. Between the stench and the sheer horrifying appearance of most of the team, the goblins just couldn't keep their mind on the game the way they should have. Of course they may have been slightly taken aback when the guy they just smashed into oblivion and who was surely dead stood up, shrugged it off, and stepped to the sidelines for a play or two for a nice frosty glass of Bloodweiser. The stunty green-skins managed to squeeze out a touchdown to keep the game tied in the first half but were unable to stop a well-executed QB rollout by Nurgle in the 2nd. The Goblins tried to pin in the rotted ones in the center, working to collapse the cage when Nurgle's QB dropped back behind the cage, hooked left in a surprise move and threw a perfect pass to a waiting teammate who carried it to the Goblin's 25. Nurgle quickly moved in additional cover on their hard charger and managed to protect him, allowing for a 2nd touchdown just moments after a chainsaw using goblin disemboweled himself after tripping on the field. Nurgle managed to hold the Goblins at the center on the return. The green-skins had a slight chance at a tie when, moving the ball up field from their 30 when their troll decided to get involved in the game for once and deftly caught the ball. Yes. The troll. The best move would have been for the goblin next to the troll to get the ball and have the troll hurl him down field for a last turn tie but it seems the troll felt left out of the ball handling duties.

[Josh]

Never seen a troll catch a pass in this game before. Never.

He looked so fucking proud that I wanted to ram the chainsaw down his stupid fucking throat, the big moron.

[B4UTRUST]

I have found a fair bit of love for Nurgle. After playing against Josh with Nurgle I took them into single player to see how they stacked up. Against a quick dodgy team that can take a hit or two like Skaven they're not doing great. They trounced the Ogres, Orcs, Goblins, Humans and Halflings though. The Ogres were the hardest ones since I couldn't go toe to toe with most of them, I had to focus on eliminating their snotlings and then double and triple teaming them the ogres themselves. The Orcs I could go toe to toe with except for the black orcs which I had to double up on but succeeded in putting two of them out of commission and one of them with a busted knee. Goblins and Halflings couldn't keep anyone on the field long enough to provide a challenge since I pretty much just ran over them at every turn and either knocked them out or injured them with almost every hit. The humans didn't prove much better. They got beat 3-0 and by the end of the game were down for only a few players capable of taking the field. Still haven't managed to bring anyone back to life on my team but that may be because I'm running a full team. But I did manage to kill quite a few of the hobbits, goblins and two humans. Most of my pestigors have leveled at least once, one has leveled twice from the amount of TDs he's bringing in and his movement rate is now at 10 which puts a little over half the field in his range. So Nurgle's Unwashed Masses are doing fairly well so far. I may stick with this team for a bit to see where it takes me.

[Josh]

Skaven are actually pretty fragile, you must've just had a bad run of armor rolls there. The main difference between skaven and goblins is the 'stunty' attribute that makes gobbos (or halfings) extra-fragile.

The key with Skaven is to corner and kill the Gutter Runners ASAP. Once you've knocked the runners out of play, the Skaven are fairly easy meat, unlike say the elves where every player (other than the treant for wood elves) is a potential passer or receiver.

[B4UTRUST]

Maybe I had some bad rolls then, or just wasn't engaging the right players. I would hit them and knock them down but they'd get back up and start running again. Some would get knocked out but a lot seemed to get up. Maybe just some bad rolls but I figured they were a quick running team and they just managed to out maneuver me. I'm sure elves would probably do similar against Nurgle other than me being able to beat them around when I catch them.

[Josh]

Remember that stacked formation I use? That's really key to going against the skaven and elves- you're trying to keep them from just slicing through your line. Then you key up on the gutter runners and beat the living shit out of them. With Nurgle you have the help of the widespread disturbing presence, remember that it stays active even if you're knocked down. What you're trying to do is keep them contained long enough to get a pestigor on their thrower and knock his ass out. If they get the ball down the field to the runners, you've already given up the touchdown, pretty much.

Skaven are fucking frustrating, but that's the pain of facing a passing team.

I might roll a team tonight just to tip you up on how to face off against them.

[Josh]

Might be free up tomorrow evening for anybody who wants some carnage. Depends on if Kris and I will be working, and I'm waiting for her schedule on that.

Yeah, I spend a lot of Saturday nights working. Because I'm fucking exciting and hip.

[B4UTRUST]

So Nuffle and Nurgle both smiled upon me yesterday as I took back to back victories over the rats and the tree huggers(Skaven and High Elves). Still not happy at Josh's sound smacking about of my Nurgle by his rats, I proceeded to hatefuck as many of the vermin as I could by stomping them into the ground until they quit squeaking. A strategy that worked as they scored on me twice in the first half but by the second they were playing with several injured or knocked out and by the end they only had a handful that were standing leading to a 3-2 victory.

I followed this up by obliterating the elves and spent the entire match dragging them across the field. Their passing game completely failed when the disturbing presence from my beast and the warriors prevented them from moving the ball. This was followed up by smacking them so hard their frail little necks broke. First half resulted in two injuries and a death along with 7 unconscious dew drinkers. And Nurgle's Unwashed Masses scoring 3 times. A few of them woke up for the 2nd half as Nurgle took to the field again to consolidate their victory. The elves started the half 3 men down and it just got worse from there. They received the kickoff and their thrower had time to maneuver under it for the catch before the play started. The linemen tried their best to block while their catchers tried to dart through the line only to be dropped on their asses by a Pestigor's horns. Nurgle proceeded to knock the elves' line apart and surged through the gap. Elves fell like bowling pins on league night as Nurgle beat them bloody. Two more unconscious in the first drive and another injury. This was followed by two players marking nearly every elf left on the field. It kept getting worse. Knockout after knockout left the elves struggling to keep anyone on the field much less an actual team. Nurgle scored again bringing the score to 4-0. Some more elves woke up and they managed to put about half an actual team on the field again before receiving the ball once more. They didn't even have a chance to pick it up again. Their linemen were knocked down on the quick defensive drive, killing one and injuring another before they even had a chance. A pestigor ran through and snagged the ball, depriving them of even that. The next few turns were spent with Nurgle doing nothing more than driving home the fact that every elf on the field was going to going to regret getting up that morning. The pestigor waited at the edge of the end zone waiting to score while the other 10 nurgle team members walked around the field double, triple and quadruple teaming every elf left standing(there weren't many). By the time turn 16 ended and nurgle scored for the last time to bring the score to 5-0, there was only one elf left standing. A catcher who had run as far and as fast as he could directly to the farthest corner my side just so my guys wouldn't rip him apart like we did his teammates. 2 Deaths, 4 injuries and 7 knocked unconscious at the end with two laying knocked down on the field for two rounds and the one lone coward trying not to crap his pants in terror. The MVP for the game? The rotter that didn't play... 4 guys leveled though so it was still a good game. That and 80K in winnings.

...they'll be scraping elf off the field for weeks...

[Josh]

I was hoping you'd get a good bashy game against a fragile squishy team like that.

[B4UTRUST]

Yes, it was nice to win for once. And nicer to finally pay back the vermin for their sound trouncing of me when you played them.

The hatefucking they received almost made me feel bad for them. Almost. Then I remembered that Nurgle knows no remorse or sorrow, just death, decay and hate. Then I proceeded to beat them some more. And then murderfuck the elves.

[Josh]

Grandfather Nurgle does not hate. Grandfather Nurgle loves all his children and expects them to multiply to cover the world.

[B4UTRUST]

You are mistaken. Grandfather Nurgle hates dodgy bullshit teams.

[B4UTRUST]

DS has learned the fun of the game. And that the red skull is the best option. He has also learned that curbstomping downed opponents results in good things as he killed two of my dark elves. An apothacary resulted in a save(badly injured) but the next drive resulted in another death. So bravo to DS for learning the value of double teaming and stomping the hell out of people.