Feedback for Cynical Cat

[frigidmagi]

"One who grew up in a city and family ruled by priests. I know what I am asking for and what we're likely to get. You're going to learn to be thankful that people so rarely get a response when they ask the gods for help."

Ohhhh Boy, the price of gods is often steep. It's a good discussion and does remind us that this isn't a case of Super Nal saving the world all by himself. He's got to have underlings able to rub two brain cells together produce a thought more complex than your average bear can.

[LadyTevar]

You knew I needed a pick-me-up. Thank you. <3

[frigidmagi]

Welp... Glad to see she's handling it so well. Although diving into the opium? Since when does that help.

[Cynical Cat]

Welp... Glad to see she's handling it so well. Although diving into the opium? Since when does that help.

It doesn't. She literally has no grief management skills, due to being raised drow and never having really cared for anyone before. So she's substituting warm numbness for coping.

[LadyTevar]

Hopefully, this is the first of the mistakes.

[frigidmagi]

The problem with wars is the other guy gets to go to.

[frigidmagi]

Well shit, this going to get bad.

[LadyTevar]

When the Deities start sending their archangels to a battle, yes, it's gonna be vicious.

[frigidmagi]

Well, shit. Nal ain't fucking around here. He wants to get his knife in good and deep and he's doing a hell of a job of it. As an aside, the sheer confidence of the King of Tribes is gut churning.

[LadyTevar]

Ah yes, he's rather fond of the Beholder Form. Multiple attack options, armored form, and so damn effective against mages. :-D
Such a ironic end for the Carnivora -- from a lofty position to merely another bloody stain on the ground

You did leave a couple mistakes with the names of the wizards. You have Nal kill Kylann, and then in the next paragraph she's one of the two survivors. Same with the wizard who is turned to stone, the next sentence he's the one that Nal paralyzes and bashes against a rock.

[Cynical Cat]

Ah yes, he's rather fond of the Beholder Form. Multiple attack options, armored form, and so damn effective against mages. :-D
Such a ironic end for the Carnivora -- from a lofty position to merely another bloody stain on the ground

You did leave a couple mistakes with the names of the wizards. You have Nal kill Kylann, and then in the next paragraph she's one of the two survivors. Same with the wizard who is turned to stone, the next sentence he's the one that Nal paralyzes and bashes against a rock.

Nope, only Kylann is the mistake. Cerzin is paralyzed and bashed to a pulp while Narveth is turned to stone.

[LadyTevar]

My mistake :(

Still a great chapter

[LadyTevar]

*twitch* I don't wanna know what eating a deva is gonna do to the King of Tribe's abilities, do I?

[frigidmagi]

That's... Gonna be bad for moral. Yeah, that's what I want to go with.

[White Haven]

Hmmh, a psychic Ogryn...or more likely a psyker wearing an Ogyrn as a hat.

Sisters hunting someone for so long, so doggedly, likely means Hereticus, which in turn spells...interesting things. I didn't get the Tzeentchian gribbly-vibe off of things, so I'm guessing a Puritan/Radical intra-Ordos shitfest.

[LadyTevar]

Definitely an interesting start to the story

[LadyTevar]

"The Howling Vortex" Nasty spell. Glad he tries to keep to spells he has better control over.

Gods below what does it take to KILL this King?

[White Haven]

Okay, draw some great big black lines through my earlier speculation...

The styling on that warp entity screams Khorne, the Marine screams sorcerer which screams not-Khorne. I...huh. Could be seriously radical Malleus at an extreme outlier, but more likely out-and-out Chaos of some flavour, but which?

[frigidmagi]

That's a hell of an opening Cat. It's interesting.

[frigidmagi]

I was stuck in a car for an hour and didn't have connection so I reread it. Cat the fight is well done. You managed to do a pretty good job of communicating how fucked up urban fighting can get and include paranormal assets without unselling or overplaying them. I really enjoyed that part.

[Cynical Cat]

Thanks frigid.

[frigidmagi]

Caught up with Be Careful, that last line is chilling bro.

Also I like Nal's statement. It's kinda funny that despite the vast majority of people around him seeing him as a player, he still sees himself as a game piece instead and isn't really wrong. There's a kind of irony in that.

[Cynical Cat]

Caught up with Be Careful, that last line is chilling bro.

Also I like Nal's statement. It's kinda funny that despite the vast majority of people around him seeing him as a player, he still sees himself as a game piece instead and isn't really wrong. There's a kind of irony in that.

Remember he's wearing magical slave chains for the entire story. You don't need to be a genius to be painfully aware that you're a piece in that kind of situation.

[frigidmagi]

Well, that was interesting. It's not often you see something able to tank disintegration, that was some expensive intell for both sides, but it had to be gathered.

[Rogue 9]

One of the Thousand Sons who escaped the Rubric? Or a Blood Raven?

Speaking of 40k, I miss Crucible. Given it any thought lately?