New element

[Robert Walper]

A major research institution has recently announced a discovery of the heaviest chemicial element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepon-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amont of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undegoes a reoganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentiums's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganizations will cause more morons to be become neutrons forming isodopes. this charscteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed when ever morons reach a certain quanity in concentration. This Hypothetical quanity is refered to as "Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium- an element that radaites just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[B4UTRUST]

But you forgot the chemical reaction of Managerium. It's often used as a dopeing compound since it's very very dopey. It's one of the last elements on the periodic table and with an atomic weight of 347, it's extremely dense. It's usually doped with silicon in a process called superdoping to mae basic junctions for microelectronics. Superdoping involves the fusion of managerium particles onto a silicon wafer. This is achieved by superheating managerium so that it changes from a solid into a near gas - a process known as sublimation, managerium being well known as a subliminal material. In its near gaseous form, managerium is harmful if inhaled. Effects of inhalation of mangerium are headaches, nasea, increasing amounts of amnesia, an inability to concenrate, and eventually death.