Comrade Tortoise, prepare to be drafted to serve Motherland

[fgalkin]

Welcome to the Reptilian Spy Corps!

linky

[quote]Russian Scientist Turns Tortoises Into Spy Robots

Created: 09.11.2005 12:06 MSK (GMT +3), Updated: 12:06 MSK

MosNews

Russian scientists have devised a way to recruit tortoises to serve the intelligence services, the NTV channel reported Wednesday. A professor from Rostov-on-Don says he can turn the animals into biological robots and train them for defense purposes.

Aleksei Burikov, head of the biology department at Rostov-on-Don State Pedagogical University, attaches special devices to the tortoise’s shell. The device makes the animal move in one or another direction or stop for a while through vibrations, thus forcing the tortoise to follow orders from humans.

Adding a small camera fixed to the tortoise’s shell allows the scientist to watch on the monitor what is happening around the tortoise’s location.

“Monitoring can be conducted both for environmental and defense purposes,â€Â

[frigidmagi]

I would advise against Russia attempting to draft American Turtles.

[fgalkin]

Oh what are you going to do? Attack us over stealing your turtles?

Besides, its not like we don't have our own tortoise population. Although I do like the idea of American tortoise double agents :)

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Comrade Tortoise]

Remember Rusky, if you can do it, so can we... Your russian tortoises will soon be ours!

[frigidmagi]

Oh what are you going to do? Attack us over stealing your turtles

We went to war against Britian over sailors. It's not like there's a huge difference between a cold blooded sluggish chubby creature and a turtle.

[fgalkin]

Remember Rusky, if you can do it, so can we... Your russian tortoises will soon be ours!

Nonsense, all your turtles are belong to us! Long live the cherepaha revolution!

Btw, as a proud once-owner of a tortoise, I must say that the idea makes sense. Tortoises are tough little buggers, and surprsingly fast. Turn around, and the little thing would be across the room 2 minutes later. And in grass taller than say, half a foot, they would be hard to see. In a wooded environment, they would be extremely useful for gathering intelligence.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Josh]

There are communist spy-tortoises under every bed!

[Gandalf]

We cannot allow a tortoise gap!

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

There are communist spy-tortoises under every bed!

Aw, come on, Josh. The cold war is over. In fact, it's been quite a long time since I was assigned to counter SMERSH agents. Haven't I told you that my last mission involved some ex North Korean high rank and a girl named Jinx? Ah, and if you meet Felix, send him my regards, would you?

*turns to bartender* Now where's my Vodka Martini? *receives the glass, then raises it* For Queen and country!

[Josh]

Aw, come on, Josh. The cold war is over. In fact, it's been quite a long time since I was assigned to counter SMERSH agents. Haven't I told you that my last mission involved some ex North Korean high rank and a girl named Jinx? Ah, and if you meet Felix, send him my regards, would you?

*turns to bartender* Now where's my Vodka Martini? *receives the glass, then raises it* For Queen and country!

[Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman]

*frowns, sips his Vodka Martini, then mumbles to himself.* I wonder if SMERSH still employs female agents?