Can semen damage video cards?

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:41 am

Well... I... Alright, let's say a friend of mine just modded his Voodoo5 Mac video card.

See, the fan and heatsink on the VSA-100 chips are quite shitty. Removing the fan was easy because they are only screwed, but the heatsink was glued to the chip. Fortunately, the heatsinks were poorly glued due to shitty manufacturing process, so it can be easily removed after placing the card in the freezer.

Now, the next thing is removing the remaining glues from the chips using acetone. It was quite a laborous process (need some patience), but finally the chips were clean, and it was time to rest and have some beer.

But then... Maybe my friend was just too excited with his work, and... ah, I don't know how to say this.

See, after cleaning up the chips, he masturbated. Some of the semen was spilled on the video card. The chips were exposed (because the heatsink have been removed), and the semen hit them. Of course, the PCB circuitry was exposed as well, and the semen hit them too.

Would the semen damage the card? At first, my friend was thinking of cleaning up the Voodoo5 with damp cloth, but he was afraid it will damage the video card further, so until now he just leave the semen dried up until he can find a safer solution.

So what is the safest solution to clean up the video card? And has the video card been damaged? Mind you, it was quite a big mess of semen.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:45 am

First off, let me say I spent the past 3 minutes rolling on the floor giggling.

Now, lets help.

The issue in this case is the PCB, the ICs themselves are isolated, the PCB however is not. Therfor, I need to know, does semen transmit electricity? If so, the GPU is fine so long as no electricty has passed through it. Now to clean it, you will need a cloth of some substance, capable of soaking up ALL the semen and cleaning the board. Once the board is clean, you must allow it to dry, then once again clean the board. Dry again.

After that, hook it in and pray that the semen isn't under some socket.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:49 am

Thanks! I will keep that in mind.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:50 am

I mean, I'll keep that in mind when I give my friend the advice.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 9:36 pm

I would also advise not jerking off next to unprotected electronics in the future.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:57 am

frigidmagi wrote:I would also advise not jerking off next to unprotected electronics in the future.

I guess a notebook LCD screen is considered protected electronics, because cleaning the LCD up after masturbation does not damage it. In fact, my notebook is still fine until now.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:01 am

What the christ. I rinse my hands, thoroughly dry them, put on my anti-static wrist-band, conscientiously clear off accumulated dust with some canned air whenever I work on my computer, and try not to leave my computer open longer than is necessary.

And "your friend" just jacks off willy-nilly with computer parts sitting out in the open? Can't he wait a little while, or even just go into a different room?!

As for something to clean off electronics with, high-purity isopropyl alcohol should work well. It evaporates quickly.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:19 am

KAN, you are a classic. Deadset classic.

LibriumArcana.Games

Can semen damage video cards?

#1 Can semen damage video cards?

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8