Bwahahaha!Judge orders lawyers to play game
Acrimonious attorneys told to settle dispute by playing a round of 'rock, paper, scissors.'
By Roger Parloff, FORTUNE senior writer
June 7, 2006: 1:06 PM EDT
NEW YORK (FORTUNE) - Faced with the inability of two bickering attorneys to resolve even the most innocuous scheduling questions without his intervention, a Florida federal judge yesterday ordered the two to meet on the steps of the federal courthouse and resolve their latest quarrel by playing "one (1) game of 'rock, paper, scissors.' " (Read the ruling.)
Judge Gregory A. Presnell of Orlando ordered the unusual measure, which he characterized as "a new form of alternative dispute resolution," after the two Tampa attorneys had proven unable to agree upon where to hold a deposition, even though both of their offices are just four floors away in the very same building in Tampa.
Defense attorney D. Lee Craig, of Butler Pappas Weihmuller Katz Craig, proposed holding the deposition in his office, but plaintiffs' attorney David J. Pettinato of Merlin Law Group wanted it to take place at the court reporter's office down the street.
The Solomonic ruling comes in an insurance dispute filed last September by Avista Management against Wausau Underwriters Insurance Co.
Characterizing the disagreement as "the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts," Judge Presnell ordered each attorney, "accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness," to play the dispositive round of RPS on June 30.
"The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location of the . . . deposition," he ruled, so long as it was within Hillsborough County.
In an interview, plaintiff's lawyer Pettinato says, "I'm going to comply with the court's order to the letter." Defense lawyer Craig did not respond to a phone message, while Judge Presnell, 63, who was appointed to the bench by President Bill Clinton in 2000, declined comment.
Judge to Lawyers: Play rock paper scissors
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Ace Pace
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#1 Judge to Lawyers: Play rock paper scissors
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"Do we think Israel would be nuts enough to go back into Lebanon with Olmert still in power and calling the shots? They could hook Sharon up to a heart monitor and interpret the blips and bleeps as "yes" and "no" and do better than that, both strategically and emotionally."
The twin cub, the Cyborg dolphin wolf.
Dorsk 81: this is why I support the separation of Aces eyebrow's, something that ugly should never be joined
Mayabird:You see what this place does to us? It's like how Eskimos have their 16 names for snow. We have to precisely define what shafting we're receiving.
"Do we think Israel would be nuts enough to go back into Lebanon with Olmert still in power and calling the shots? They could hook Sharon up to a heart monitor and interpret the blips and bleeps as "yes" and "no" and do better than that, both strategically and emotionally."
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Hilarious.
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'Go ahead. Bake my quiche'.
'Undead or alive, you're coming with me.'
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'Run away, and live to run away another day'-The Rincewind principle
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'Go ahead. Bake my quiche'.
'Undead or alive, you're coming with me.'
'Detritus?'-'Yessir?'-'Never go to Klatch'.-'Yessir.'
'Many fine old manuscripts in that place, I believe. Without price, I'm told.'-'Yes, sir. Certainly worthless, sir.'-'Is it possible you misunderstood what I just said, Commander?'
'Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a sword a little'
'Run away, and live to run away another day'-The Rincewind principle
'Hello, inner child. I'm the inner babysitter.'
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HAHA I suddenly feel better about living in tampa thanks!
EDIT: Oh man i should go get pictures of this!
EDIT: Oh man i should go get pictures of this!
Last edited by Shark Bait on Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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-Adam Savage "Mythbusters"
"Rule 4: Blades don't need reloading."
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"What is burning people but stabbing them with fire?"
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#4
By "one game" did he mean just one throw, or a full match? Any serious dispute needs to be settled at least best two out of three. I'm a huge advocate of settling conflicts with Rock Paper Scissors, so this update saddens me:
And from the court order:World RPS Society wrote:Pro Player Mr. C. Urbanus quickly offered his consulting series to one of the lawyers and received the following response from one of them:
Fortunately, we, the attorneys have worked out our differences by agreement. We will not have to resort to combat by RPS. Thanks again and best of luck.
"Your Honor, he cheated! There was a 0.09 second delay between when I delivered Scissors and he delivered Rock. He waited until after I had chosen!"If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006...