Author Feedback: SirNitram
Moderator: LadyTevar
- SirNitram
- The All-Seeing Eye
- Posts: 5178
- Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 7:13 pm
- 19
- Location: Behind you, duh!
- Contact:
#1 Author Feedback: SirNitram
Read and comment, puny mortals! My first venture into writing 40k. I hope I got a good feel down.
Last edited by SirNitram on Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:45 am, edited 2 times in total.
Half-Damned, All Hero.
Tev: You're happy. You're Plotting. You're Evil.
Me: Evil is so inappropriate. I'm ruthless.
Tev: You're turning me on.
I Am Rage. You Will Know My Fury.
Tev: You're happy. You're Plotting. You're Evil.
Me: Evil is so inappropriate. I'm ruthless.
Tev: You're turning me on.
I Am Rage. You Will Know My Fury.
- Cynical Cat
- Arch-Magician
- Posts: 11930
- Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 8:53 pm
- 19
- Location: Ice Sarcophagus outside a ruined Jedi Temple
- Contact:
#3
Pretty good.
It's not that I'm unforgiving, it's that most of the people who wrong me are unrepentant assholes.
- frigidmagi
- Dragon Death-Marine General
- Posts: 14757
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:03 am
- 19
- Location: Alone and unafraid
#4
I enjoyed it.
"it takes two sides to end a war but only one to start one. And those who do not have swords may still die upon them." Tolken
- Dark Silver
- Omnipotent Overlord
- Posts: 5477
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:15 pm
- 19
- Contact:
#5
RE: The Only Witness
Interesting...I rather like it.
Interesting...I rather like it.
Allen Thibodaux | Archmagus | Supervillain | Transfan | Trekker | Warsie |
"Then again, Detective....how often have you dreamed of hearing your father's voice once more? Of feeling your mother's touch?" - Ra's Al Ghul
"According to the Bible, IHVH created the Universe in six days....he obviously didn't know what he was doing." - Darek Steele bani Order of Hermes.
DS's Golden Rule: I am not a bigot, I hate everyone equally. | corollary: Some are more equal than others.
"Then again, Detective....how often have you dreamed of hearing your father's voice once more? Of feeling your mother's touch?" - Ra's Al Ghul
"According to the Bible, IHVH created the Universe in six days....he obviously didn't know what he was doing." - Darek Steele bani Order of Hermes.
DS's Golden Rule: I am not a bigot, I hate everyone equally. | corollary: Some are more equal than others.
- Comrade Tortoise
- Exemplar
- Posts: 4832
- Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 1:33 am
- 19
- Location: Land of steers and queers indeed
- Contact:
#6
I am really liking this.
And am I the only one who figured out what this guy is?
And am I the only one who figured out what this guy is?
"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution."
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- LadyTevar
- Pleasure Kitten Foreman
- Posts: 13197
- Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:25 pm
- 18
- Location: In your lap, purring
- Contact:
#7
Only Witness:
POST MORE OFTEN GODDAMMIT!!!!
and yes, CT, I think we all know who/what Charl is. But I'm to "not give it away" *eyes the husband over her shoulder*
POST MORE OFTEN GODDAMMIT!!!!
and yes, CT, I think we all know who/what Charl is. But I'm to "not give it away" *eyes the husband over her shoulder*
Dogs are Man's Best Friend
Cats are Man's Adorable Little Serial Killers
- Comrade Tortoise
- Exemplar
- Posts: 4832
- Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 1:33 am
- 19
- Location: Land of steers and queers indeed
- Contact:
#8
Just making sure.
"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution."
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- frigidmagi
- Dragon Death-Marine General
- Posts: 14757
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:03 am
- 19
- Location: Alone and unafraid
#10
Daaammmmnnnnn.... That was brutal Nit. So the Coke thing was to throw the cops off guard and make the Pally look crazy?
"it takes two sides to end a war but only one to start one. And those who do not have swords may still die upon them." Tolken
#12
...
Smite via unarmed strike?
Smite via unarmed strike?
The Paladin's Domain, My Blog (Updated 5/18/2009)
"Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils." -- General John Stark
"A fortress circumvented ceases to be an obstacle.
A fortress destroyed ceases to be a threat.
Do not forget the difference."
"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." -- G. K. Chesterton
"Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils." -- General John Stark
"A fortress circumvented ceases to be an obstacle.
A fortress destroyed ceases to be a threat.
Do not forget the difference."
"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." -- G. K. Chesterton
- frigidmagi
- Dragon Death-Marine General
- Posts: 14757
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:03 am
- 19
- Location: Alone and unafraid
#13
The cops got fooled by flour? Crap on a stick.
"it takes two sides to end a war but only one to start one. And those who do not have swords may still die upon them." Tolken
- Comrade Tortoise
- Exemplar
- Posts: 4832
- Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 1:33 am
- 19
- Location: Land of steers and queers indeed
- Contact:
#16
excellent
You know what this really needs? Charl Matrixing with Divine Grace through a hail of bullets.
You know what this really needs? Charl Matrixing with Divine Grace through a hail of bullets.
"Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution."
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- Theodosius Dobzhansky
There is no word harsh enough for this. No verbal edge sharp and cold enough to set forth the flaying needed. English is to young and the elder languages of the earth beyond me. ~Frigid
The Holocaust was an Amazing Logistical Achievement~Havoc
- frigidmagi
- Dragon Death-Marine General
- Posts: 14757
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:03 am
- 19
- Location: Alone and unafraid
#17
Arthur? Was that fucking King Arthur?
"it takes two sides to end a war but only one to start one. And those who do not have swords may still die upon them." Tolken
- LadyTevar
- Pleasure Kitten Foreman
- Posts: 13197
- Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:25 pm
- 18
- Location: In your lap, purring
- Contact:
#18
[singsong] I know who it ii-ss I know who it ii-ss
I aint a'tellin' I ain't a-tellin![/singsong]
But it aint no King.
I aint a'tellin' I ain't a-tellin![/singsong]
But it aint no King.
Dogs are Man's Best Friend
Cats are Man's Adorable Little Serial Killers
- frigidmagi
- Dragon Death-Marine General
- Posts: 14757
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:03 am
- 19
- Location: Alone and unafraid
#20
Repentent Iron Warriors?!?
"it takes two sides to end a war but only one to start one. And those who do not have swords may still die upon them." Tolken
- LadyTevar
- Pleasure Kitten Foreman
- Posts: 13197
- Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:25 pm
- 18
- Location: In your lap, purring
- Contact:
#21
Mwhahahahahahahahahahafrigidmagi wrote:Repentent Iron Warriors?!?
Although he does need to clean it up a little... the Guardsmen mentioned are NOT with the Inquistitor.
Dogs are Man's Best Friend
Cats are Man's Adorable Little Serial Killers
- rhoenix
- The Artist formerly known as Rhoenix
- Posts: 7998
- Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2006 4:01 pm
- 17
- Location: "Here," for varying values of "here."
- Contact:
#23
Excellent work, Nitram - and not just because I've a soft spot for the Exalted universe.
It flowed well, the characterizations evoked the imagination well. Good work.
It flowed well, the characterizations evoked the imagination well. Good work.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."
- William Gibson
- William Gibson
Josh wrote:What? There's nothing weird about having a pet housefly. He smuggles cigarettes for me.
- frigidmagi
- Dragon Death-Marine General
- Posts: 14757
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:03 am
- 19
- Location: Alone and unafraid
#24
That was interesting although I honestly don't know much about exalted. I kinda saw the Gravtius part coming.
"it takes two sides to end a war but only one to start one. And those who do not have swords may still die upon them." Tolken