Pornographic CD's Summon Bomb Squad.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 3:18 pm

SANTA FE â€” The Roman Catholic Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi was evacuated during noon Mass on Ash Wednesday when three CD players duct-taped to the bottom of pews began blaring sexually explicit language.

The players were set to turn on at 12:22 p.m. as parishioners were in the middle of Mass, police Capt. Gary Johnson said.

The recordings were filled with people using foul language and "pornographic messages," Johnson said. He would not elaborate because of the ongoing investigation.

Church staff personnel removed the CD players, took them to the basement and called police, who sent a bomb squad, Johnson said.

The bomb squad blew up two of the players on a grassy area near the church, then kept the third one for analysis after determining the players were not dangerous.

The recordings were made on store-bought blank discs, Johnson said.

"We'll run the full gamut" of tests on the player, including checking for fingerprints or DNA and tracing its components, he said.

Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, which marks a 40-day period of fasting before Easter. Clergy mark the foreheads of the faithful with ashes to symbolize penance during Ash Wednesday services.

I don't think I can come up with anything that is more witty than 'Upon encountering pornographic sounds, they summoned the bomb squad'.

Lord Iames Osari · Post by **Lord Iames Osari** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 4:25 pm

... Wow.

That's pretty immature.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 5:06 pm

I'm almost thinking the police called the bomb squad for kicks.

"Hey Carl they're CD players taped to the bottom of the pew."

"Let's call the Bomb Squad, Marty was complaining about having nothing to do and I always wanted to see a CD player get trashed."

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:22 pm

I love the component tracing. Perhaps these were homebrew CD players. And... DNA!

Cpl Kendall · Post by **Cpl Kendall** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 4:31 pm

This is almost as dumb as the thing with the Moonites. Almost.

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:37 pm

Best part is that the absolute last thing that the forces of terror are going to assail us with is blasphemous perversion.

Edit- And personally, I think that's a god damned shame, too. If they were bombing us with porn, I'd be all over this Allah thing.

Edit Edit- And if it was seventy two virgins with a bottle of tequila in each hand, I'd be driving the Martyr Bus from here to Mecca.

Edit Edit Edit- I need to invent a religion sometime.

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:44 pm

*Psssst Blondes and stripper dodgeball=holy communion* What? Move along nothing to see here!

Post by **Dark Silver** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:35 am

Why not Josh? It worked for L. Ron Hubbard after all...

Or you could just do as I did...and accept Xenu as your Lord and Master, he is a good Evil Galactic Overlord....giving us strippers and bald heads and what not.

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:54 am

I'd have to create my own. If I'm going to get into religion, I gotta be the top guy. (Or prophet thereof.)

I'll ponder on it a bit.

LibriumArcana.Games

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