Transformers: Steel Reign

[General Havoc]

Hornet had not received a similar call from Breakout, nor did he know that the others had. If he had known, he would likely have worried that Breakout was going to arrange to have him left behind like all the other baggage whenever they went out on a mission, for if Breakout didn't think he was appropriate for scouting and light recon, then what DID he think he was appropriate for.

Fortunately however, ignorance was, if not bliss, at least less worry, though he could not dispatch all of the worry altogether from his lasercore, particularly given what he was about to do. Why he was doing it was beyond him to explain, but after what Blindside had said to him, he had been thinking...

Just... who WERE the Decepticons?

As far as Hornet stood, he couldn't envision why anyone, Cybertronian or otherwise, would wish to be anything but aligned with the Autobots. It wasn't totally as foolish as it sounded for him to think it. He understood of course just wanting to be left alone, or not to have anything to do with the war or anything else, he got that, really. Obviously there were people that wanted nothing to do with him or the Autobots or whatnot...

... but that wasn't the Decepticons.

Hornet had never thought much about the Decepticons. There hadn't been much point to. The Decepticons were scary, they were violent, they were mean, and they were cruel, and all of them wanted to kill the Autobots in general, and Hornet in specific. None of these things were in question. But while Hornet had always sort of known that Jetfire and Mirage and some others (Shellshock as it turned out, and most recently Deathstrike) were former Decepticons, he had never even considered what that meant.

Just... what WAS a Decepticon?

What could possibly make dozens and hundreds of robots act the way the Decepticons did? Was it threat? Slavery? Were all of them living in fear of Megatron so much that they did everything he wanted them to? What possible reason could there have been for them to act the way they did. The thought that some of the Decepticons might well have ENJOYED this sort of thing did not even cross his processor. He could not envision it. Surely nobody, not even Megatron, could actually WANT to kill and murder and cause pain, so what was binding them together. If Jetfire, Shellshock, Mirage, Deathstrike, and others had all defected from the Decepticons to the Autobots once they realized how evil the Decepticons really were, then why hadn't the rest of them done the same?

That question had been floating through Hornet's processor for several hours now, and try as he might, he couldn't get past it. It just didn't make any sense to him. Starscream, Soundwave, Blitzwing, Thundercracker, Megatron... what... made them want to fight and kill the Autobots? Why did they hate them so much? Blindside had claimed it was a mad quest for power, but Hornet's world view did not allow for dozens of Transformers acting in such a manner because they liked to.

To Hornet, such actions were beyond unthinkable, they were outright absurd. He had been forced to kill five human drones in the defense of his friends. It had made him feel like his processor was being ripped out of him with an electromagnet, a hollow, sick, bitter feeling that brought tears to his optics even to recall, and still ached in the depths of his lasercore. The others had tried to cheer him up, to make him get over it, and he had... sort of... but still it was there.

How could anyone WANT to feel that way?

He didn't understand... and so he felt he had to ask. And if he wished to ask about what it was like to be a Decepticon, there was only one person to be inquiring with.

He pushed open the heavy door to Perceptor's workshop, and quietly slipped inside. Perceptor didn't see him initially, which was good, as Perceptor tended to refuse him entry on all but the most dire occasions, and merely because of a simple mis-understanding with a pressure chamber. Fortunately the Transformer he wanted to ask was right before him as he entered.

He approached Deathstrike sheepishly. "Um... Deathstrike?" he said, nervously and soft, in his normal fashion around the intimidating larger flier. "Can... can I talk to you for a second?"

[Cynical Cat]

"Of course Hornet," said Deathstrike. "Except when time is of vital importance, you may always ask me questions." The deliberate limitations of Hornet's programming and design were by now well known by Deathstrike. What had changed was that the little Autobot was now his responsibility and would be part of the same strike team. Managing him productively had different requirements than managing Slipstream. "What is on your mind?"

[General Havoc]

It actually took a moment or two for Hornet to realize that Deathstrike was being... nice? Even pleasant? He wondered for a second if Perceptor hadn't accidentally reprogrammed him or something, or if this was some kind of trick.

"I um..." he stammered, not sure of if he had simply caught Deathstrike at a good time, or if this was a minefield he was walking into. "I just... I wanted to... to ask you some stuff... about the... Decepticons."

He held his wings behind his back and looked up at the former-Decepticon flier (was former right? When did people STOP being Decepticons officially?)

"Blindside said that... the Decepticons all followed Megatron because he was the biggest and the strongest and said that he could make them all be like him." That was not of course what Blindside had said precisely, but Hornet was condensing and interpretting it through his own words. "He said that the Decepticons were supposed to be... different or something, that they used to be more like the rest of us, but they decided they had to show that they were stronger than the rest of the Transformers, and started to... hurt them..."

Hornet looked nervous but not condemning. For all he knew he was completely wrong, and even if not, he was describing something that he couldn't understand at all, and felt he needed to learn more about.

"I just... was wondering..." he asked, wary of running out Deathstrike's patience. "How... how come the Decepticons hate us? I mean the Autobots, and the humans?"

[Cynical Cat]

"It's a complicated question Hornet," said Deathstrike. "Not all Decepticons are alike. I am not like Starscream who is not like Megatron or Soundwave. The best I can give you is a general answer.

"I was built for the war. It was already underway and great changes had happened by the time I started to function. I was loyal to the Decepticon cause because that was my initial programming. Megatron was my rightful leader and Skywarp and Thundercracker were my comrades. They were the ones who would fight to keep me alive and the Autobots were the ones fighting to kill me and my friends. The choice was already made.

"I have studied the data banks regarding the time before the war and Starjammer shared her memories with me. I have an idea what that time was like. The most important thing you need to recall is that the Autobots of that time were not like they are today. Optimus was just Orion Pax, one of many ordinary Autobots. An Autobot Council ruled and protected their own interests ruthlessly. The Primes were the leaders of their enforcers and the Guardian Robots existed to crush all those who would oppose them. They lied about the true history of Cybertron and concealed the truth. Military forms were prohibited from achieving any position of power.

"There was nothing just about that Council or that time, but if you were a civ bot and did not challenge the existing order life was good. There was peace. No one would have taken the phrase 'freedom is the right of all sentient beings' seriously. A military bot would take whatever work was assigned to him, usually the nastiest or most dangerous, or fight in the gladitorial pits.

"Megatron was the greatest pit fighter there ever was. He had no equal. There were other greats, Grimlock for instance, but no equals to Megatron. Even then he was rumoured to be a renegade, a former mining bot from a group that had been wiped out by the Autobot Council. He was angry then, angry at the lies and the oppression and the dead end future that was all that he could expect under the old order. Starjammer was condemned to the pits for digging in forbidden archives and she shared what she had learned with him. He began investigations of his own.

"In those days Megatron was not only the greatest pit fighter, but the most popular. He gained many followers among the fighters and those who were involved in the games. He began to call his followers 'the Decepticons', the deceived. He found data indicated that the true purpose of the military models had been suppressed, that they had been deliberately lied to and forced into roles that went against their natures. They had already trained for battle. The technically inclined among them had developed a reformating process that would give them more formidable forms, better suited for battle. The war began.

"Later, the Autobot Council would make Orion Pax Prime. In him they would finally find a leader who could match Megatron's power and charisma, which was their doom. Optimus did not care for the future that Megatron preached, but after he won he would not have served such a corrupt and venal body of robots. In time the Autobot movement began to be associated not with the increasingly powerless government, but with the idealistic leader of their military."

[General Havoc]

Hornet didn't know what to think or say. His knowledge of this history of the Autobots was exceedingly limited. Prior to the Autobots' arrival on Earth, he knew only that they were from the planet Cybertron, and that the war between them and the Decepticons had been raging for millions of years. He only understood about half of what Deathstrike was saying, but that which he did understand sounded so far beyond him as to make him feel like he was shrinking. It couldn't be right...

He put his analysis asside for a second. He had to ask about the rest of the story.

"But... the Decepticons hate us," he said, and this much he knew to be true. "Even today. If Megatron just wanted to not have to do what the council said he had to do, how come he keeps fighting us now? I've never heard of an "Autobot Council", and whoever tried to make him a slave hasn't been alive for millions of years! And most of us weren't even alive back then..."

"So... how come... Megatron and the Decepticons kept on fighting us? How come they keep trying to kill us? And how come they're trying to murder the humans? The humans didn't have anything to do with it. They weren't even around back then..."

[Cynical Cat]

"The war never stopped Hornet," said Deathstrike. "The Autobots still oppose Megatron's goal, that of fulfilling the Decepticon destiny as warriors and conquering the universe. That hasn't changed. Countless deaths later, the leadership of the Autobots has changed but the war continues. Too many have died, too much has been sacrificed, by both sides. The old order that the Autobots defended and the Decepticons hated is gone, but the hatred, wounds, and goals remain. Prime's version of the future against Megatron's, with the inertia of millions of years of war behind them. Only the extinction of one side or the surrender of one of the leaders will end it now.

"The humans oppose the Decepticons. They have valuable resources. That is reason enough to conquer them."

[General Havoc]

It made no sense at all. Not to Hornet. Not like this. Millions of years of blood and tears and pain, slaughter and murder, and all because neither side was willing to see it ended. Hornet wasn't crushed under the weight of what Deathstrike was saying, for it simply couldn't be. Deep inside his spark, he knew that Deathstrike was speaking as a Decepticon, and didn't understand Optimus. Optimus would have ended the war if there was a way to, talked Megatron down or found something he could do, save that Megatron was not to be talked down by anyone. Megatron waged war for the sake of it, killing and butchering and slaughtering anyone who opposed him. Hornet knew that as intrinsically as he knew his own name. He knew it because Optimus said so, and he knew Optimus was right, because he was.

But everything Deathstrike had said made him think. Deathstrike wasn't an Autobot, he was a Decepticon. Was this what the Decepticons thought? That they had no choice? That the Autobots were still evil slavedrivers and that they'd sacrificed too much to stop now? How quickly Deathstrike dismissed the humans as being worth conquering, simply because they had things he or the Decepticons wanted.... it was like Deathstrike was speaking a whole different language, where the fact that it was WRONG to attack the humans, whatever they possessed, didn't even come into the picture. It was frightening, enough so that Hornet actually backed up a pace. He couldn't understand how someone could look at the humans, see them, speak to them, get to know them, and still just want to kill them because they were there. He didn't understand it.

So he asked an obvious question, that sounded a bit strange.

"What's.... what's it like... being a Decepticon?"

[Cynical Cat]

"What is it like being an Autobot? Ironhide is not Wheeljack who is not like Bumblebee. For me, it was a glorious thing. I flew free and dispensed life and death as I saw fit. I had the power and the freedom to act. What I did mattered, mattered more than the deeds of almost any other beings because I was a saver and an ender of lives. A shaper of destiny.

"I fulfilled my function and had the respect of many of my peers. Megatron trusted me to lead other Decepticons into battle and win victories. Shockwave consulted with me on strategy and tactics. I lead those who were eager to serve.

You think of conquest as evil, but you do not consider what comes before conquest and what comes after. I brought peace and prosperity to a world, liberating it from an endless cycle of wars between petty kinglets who ruled poorly in the name of imaginary beings. I killed tens of thousands, but they would have died anyway. My deeds benefited tens of millions and would have helped more if my rule hadn't been cut short.

"Prime speaks of freedom for all sentient beings. They are noble words. I know he means the best by them. He is a living example of the greatness of his ideals. But he is Optimus. Not even Autobots that have followed him for millions of years can equal his commitment or achievements.

"Read the history of this planet. It is soaked in blood and petty tyrannies. They kill each other over petty bigotries over skin colour, over which imaginary deity they honor, over sexual orientation, over gender roles, and every other petty cruelty imaginable. In the supposedly civilized North American continent they ignored a devastating plague and allowed it to spread because its first victims were undesirables. And I have not touched on the endless horrors of Tamerlane, the Nazis, the Inquisition, the KKK, the Khmer Rouge, and on and on and on. For most humans, freedom means the ability to exploit and murder another group of humans that is arbitrarily considered sub human."

[General Havoc]

"But that's not why the Decepticons came here," said Hornet.

Everything Deathstrike had said was still swimming about his head, but he shook it off. He knew that the Decepticons rationalized slaughter and murder by claiming it was natural. He didn't realize how vehimately they did so.

Part of him wanted to scream at Deathstrike, yell and shout and wave his hands and demand to know how he could even say such things. How could ANYONE believe such things? That the universe was filled with suffering and pain and hatred and so it was right to just keep adding to it? How could anyone sit there and BOAST about killing tens of thousands of people, dismissing them like they meant nothing because they eventually might have died. The kills Hornet had made still pounded like wounds in his spark. How could anyone, Decepticon or otherwise, actually want such things.

"You... said that all of us are different..." he began, slowly. "All of us Autobots aren't alike. And that you aren't either.... but you think that because some humans kill each other, it makes all of them just as bad as Megatron? That's like saying that because Trauma tortures people for fun, that all Transformers must be crazy and sick like he is. I know that the humans have... done really bad things to each other, just like we have... but that doesn't make it right to just.... just kill them...."

"The Decepticons didn't come here to help the humans by conquering them or anything. You just said a second ago that the Decepticons came here to take the resources that the humans had. Even if they do bad stuff to each other sometimes... how does that make the Decepticons any better? Because if they're not any better, just bigger, what gives them the right to just... kill whoever they like?"

Hornet could have been screaming and shouting, but he wasn't. These weren't angry denunciations. They were actual questions. He could not figure out how anyone could hold such views of the world, and felt he needed to see...

"I know humans," he said. "They're my friends, they're all our friends. Some of them are cruel and mean and hurt people, but... most of them aren't like that at all. Most of them just try to live and help their friends and their families, until a Decepticon shows up and says that all humans are inferior, and kills them, and then goes back to the Decepticon base and says that since humans kill each other sometimes it doesn't matter what they do to them. But Tamerlane and the Nazis and those other people you talked about... they weren't like all the other humans, just like you're not like all the Decepticons, and I'm not like all the Autobots. Does that mean that if I do something wrong, you're gonna go and shoot Bumblebee? Or Ironhide? If we're not all the same, if Optimus can be good and noble, even though these Autobot Council guys weren't.... then how come the humans can't? How come it's okay to just slaughter them? How come the Decepticons think it's okay to just slaughter everyone else?"

Hornet lowered and shook his head slowly, and sighed. "I just... don't understand how anyone could WANT to kill people," he said, looking back up, "and you do. I know you do. Even when you say you don't or that it's okay because they were gonna die anyhow, or that they needed you to lead them or something... that's not it. You actually like it. You want to kill people. Maybe it was us once and now it's the other Decepticons, but you want to do it. I heard what you told Optimus when you came here. You want to go out and fight them some more and kill them. You said just now that you killed tens of thousands of people... like it was something you oughta be proud of? Why?"

Hornet's voice wasn't accusatory, it was flat and declarative and slightly scared. He wasn't shrilly accusing Deathstrike of taking pleasure in killing people. He was stating it as a base fact, and one he didn't understand. He understood wanting to be the best, certainly, wanting to defeat the "bad guys" and become the champion, but... this was something he couldn't comprehend at all, and there was nothing to do but ask.

And then there was one other question.

"And... also... if the Decepticons are right, if they're still fighting because they think we're wrong and that they should conquer everyone for their own good or not or whatever, if you still think Megatron's a really great guy, and that he's right and all that... then... well... how come you're with us now? Because... you think we're all stupid, and I know that, because you keep saying it, and you think Optimus doesn't do what he should to win, and that everyone else hates you because you're a Decepticon, and that most of us are weak and cowards and whatever.... I know you think that. You think Wheeljack shouldn't have even built me because I'm not a war machine and I don't like to kill, and you think most of the rest of us aren't good for anything and you don't like the humans because you think they're evil and when they're not evil they're selfish and inferior and all that. You... THINK like a Decepticon, Deathstrike... and I don't know how that works, or how you can think like that, and it's... scary sort of... but... even with all that, even though you don't like any of us and don't like the humans and think we're all stupid and weak because we don't act like Decepticons.... you're still here, with us, instead of over in Kaon with the Decepticons doing all that stuff you liked so much and being powerful and conquering everything...."

Hornet paused and took a breath. "So... why are you here?"

[Cynical Cat]

"I am here because I am a coward and a traitor who has used axle grease for honor," said Deathstrike. "I lost faith in my lord and his ability to lead us and I betrayed him and ran away. What I tried to build turned to ash, my friends were killed or lost, and I was crippled and chased into the void.

"There is nothing lower or more pathetic than a scavenger. I did anything to gain scraps of materials for jury rigged repairs or enough energy to continue functioning. I lived that pathetic, hard scrabble, miserable existence for millions of years. I ceased to be Deathstrike and became instead cunning vermin with no honor, no dignity, and no glory.

"You are right. I am a Decepticon warrior. I did not claim to be otherwise. I do not believe in Prime's ideals, although I respected him as an enemy before he was ever my leader. I agreed to serve the Autobot cause as a warrior. Nothing more, nothing less. I became Deathstrike again.

"I will never endure the horror of that existence again. I will not be less than I can be. So I will keep my word to Optimus and serve him loyally for as long as he wishes and hopefully I will regain a few shreds of honor in the process."

[General Havoc]

Hornet shook his head again. "Whatever you tried to build didn't 'turn' into ash," he said, "someone burned it. If your friends got killed, it's because somebody killed them, not because it was their nature to get killed or whatever. You got crippled and chased off into space? Who chased you? Who crippled you? It couldn't've been us, we didn't even know you existed, and besides, we're too... weak... maybe... to do that sort of thing. Optimus wouldn't allow it. You keep saying to me that Megatron had it right, that Megatron does the right thing... well then how come you left in the first place? How come you never went back? You said you lost faith in Megatron? Why? What happened?"

Hornet glanced down at the floor again. "I... don't think you did become Deathstrike again," he said. "Optimus wouldn't have let you join us just because you could shoot at people. If you just wanted a place to repair and get your guns back and start fighting again... I don't think he'd have let you in. I don't think he'd have let Deathstrike stay with us. I think you're... something else now, and I don't know what it is, and maybe you don't either, but you keep telling us about how you're a Decepticon and you wanna do things like the Decepticons do... but a Decepticon wouldn't have argued with Wheeljack about me. A Decepticon wouldn't have gotten angry with Wheeljack because he built me to be small and didn't give me any armor. A Decepticon wouldn't have cared if I got killed or not, because I wouldn't matter to a Decepticon, because I'm not strong like them and I can't help them slaughter people, so they'd ignore me, or if I got in their way, they'd just shoot me, and you know that's what they would do, and so do I, because that's what they do to everybody. Maybe not all of them, because they're all different, like you said, but it's what Megatron would do, and Megatron trusted you and liked you, so I think it's what you would do once."

"... so... yeah... you still think like a Decepticon, and maybe you're even still a Decepticon, but you're not Deathstrike anymore. You're just calling yourself that until you figure out what to call yourself now that you're something else. At least... that's what I think..."

[Cynical Cat]

"Your right Hornet. Autobots happened. They bombed my capital from orbit, set cities alight, and covered half a continent in a radioactive cloud. They were hard, tough robots who knew me and my weaknesses and were determined not to let a new Decepticon power grow to threaten the Autobots.

"I don't know if you're right about Prime, you'll have to ask him why he made his decision. You are right about me. I'm not the same Deathstrike. I've had my weaknesses burned away. I do not fear death anymore or that my leader may fail me. Dishonor is no longer an option. I no longer fear Megatron's wrath over my betrayal. My flaws have been replaced with strengths. I still carry the stains and the responsibilities for my misdeeds, but I am no longer the robot that would commit them. I am greater and more terrible than I was."

[SirNitram]

Overload meditated. Meditation and spiritualism were not common in Autobots or Decepticons anymore; not after so many Vorns of war, after seeing their world reduced to a metal husk, after so much killing without point. Even the older ones had largely given up on the idea that Primus was much more than the Choser Of Primes. But Overload had never truly kicked it, never truly broken free of what many called superstitions.

As his trailer underwent final adjustments and modifications before being ready to combat-deploy, the Autobot sat in a pose that most would find quite unnatural, but of course, his pain sensors didn't activate from odd positioning. Deep within him, as he regulated his mechafluid flow, he felt the comforting presense of his Spark.

Spark. Another word few used and fewer put anything into. On occasion, Overload wondered if he had gone mad; if the long war on an unformatted Civilian Bot had finally done some damage. There was undoutably corrupted programming in his datatracks, now quarantined away from the rest.

Perhaps it was the return to his old body that did it, or perhaps seeing Shellshock as he had been, when he had first pulled the military model up and hauled him back for repairs after the Wrecker raid. Whatever it was, it brought back so much of the old turmoil.

Yet he couldn't let Shellshock down. The old milbot had pulled his circuits out of the incinerator too often to consider it. Prime? Sure, Overload had seen the old ways, and still remembered the old archivist, but Prime was still a Prime. And seemed to dedicate himself with more fervor to the cause than any before. Breakout was.. Well, a military model, and thus, Overload wasn't quite as good at the obedience necessary. But he wasn't about to flinch.

He absently wondered how much use he'd be in the upcoming missions. Sure, Overshock and Breachload were much-needed firepower, but there was an inherent dislike of going to war as little but a peice needed for a Gestalt. He shook his head and returned to regulating his internal pumps. Silly worries.

[General Havoc]

There was something altogether terrible and ominous lurking beneath Deathstrike's words, something that made Hornet feel like the temperature in the room had dropped fifty degrees, something that came close, but not quite, to triggering his shivering subroutines. What Deathstrike was talking about, it was so alien as to be almost incomprehensible. Greater and more terrible? Who would actually WISH to be more terrible than they were?

By now Hornet was getting used to the idea that Decepticons did not, fundamentally, work the same way as the Autobots, or at least as he did.

He had suspicions as to what all this actually meant, not that he had understood everything Deathstrike had said, but the words floated about his head like feathers on the wind, and he lowered his optics almost sadly, and nodded.

"Th... thanks Deathstrike..." he said furtively, not scared, but looking almost... sad. He turned away slowly and walked out the door, slowly, looking like he was almost in a daze. It took him a minute or so to resume a normal gait, and when he did, he moved as quickly as he could down to the training bay. There, he found another bot that he thought it might be a good idea to talk to...

"Um... Shellshock?" he asked quietly, in a soft, fragile voice, staring up at the massive artillery bot. "Can... can I talk to you for a minute?"

[Charon]

Shellshock had gotten 100% on the firing test, apparently without much of a challenge. The old warbot had gone last so as to not make anyone go after him, but many of the things he'd done had seemed like showing off. He'd done them only to assure his hits though.

Afterwards Shellshock had stayed behind, he hadn't been entirely pleased with how he'd done, he'd finished the test at about 85% his true capabilities, and if he was going to be in this form, he had to be at 100%.

Shellshock hadn't heard Hornet enter, he was too busy attempting to bring his fire on two Guardians long enough to keep them delayed. So far it wasn't working particularly well, but that's why he was working on it. If he could manage to slow down two guardians, that would make things easier for the rest of the team. Maybe he wouldn't almost lose his brother-in-arms again.

Hornet broke Shellshock's concentration and he glanced at the little bot quickly, his red optics shining menicingly, his face cold and impassive. Quickly the old warbot stepped back from the simulation, calling on it to pause and looked back at Hornet, looking much more like his usual friendly enough self.

"What'd you need Hornet?"

[General Havoc]

Hornet gave a yelp and jumped back as Shellshock glowered at him for an instant, and by the time the artillery-bot had managed to shut off the simulation and adopt a more normal tone and appearance, Hornet was hiding behind a nearby pillar. It took some time for Hornet to come out from behind it, and when he did he smiled nervously and held his wings behind his back, as he usually did whenever he feared he had done something wrong.

"S...sorry to bother you..." he said. "I just... I was wondering if you could... tell me some stuff about... the Decepticons."

He cringed involuntarily, as though fearing the reaction he was going to get.

[Charon]

Shellshock chuckled, amused at Hornet's antics and was about to ask him what he'd broken that he didn't want Wheeljack to find out about when Hornet asked his question. Shellshock wen't quiet for awhile, before finally responding.

"What'd you want to know?"

[General Havoc]

Hornet took a deep breath, despite his lack of lungs he could do it, and then explained as best he could.

Blindside... told me that the Decepticons were like... like the rest of us once, and that they thought they had to be the best they could be, better than everyone else, and that the only way to do that was to kill us, the Autobots I mean, and now the Decepticons are all... sort of... so afraid that they're not the best, that they keep going, and keep trying to conquer and kill everyone, because Megatron thinks he has to, and he's in charge..."

He paused and continued.

"So... I went... and I asked Deathstrike about the Decepticons and... he said that... it all started because the Autobots were trying to make the Decepticons into slaves, and none of them would do it, so everyone started fighting, and then later Optimus got made into Prime, and he wanted to stop the war, but Megatron kept on fighting, because he was so angry about what had happened that he wanted to keep conquering...."

Hornet let out a sigh.

"... but he ALSO said that... that he'd killed so many people. Thousands and tens of thousands and maybe even more. And he was... he was proud of it... like it was some sort of great thing that he'd done it... and... and he said that... that the Decepticons were gonna conquer the humans because the humans had things that they wanted... and that that made it okay, because there were humans once that did bad things to each other, that meant that the Decepticons were allowed to just..."

He had to stop, the tears were already running to his optics, and he blinked them back a few times before sliding down the pillar until he was sitting down, and tucking his knees up against his chest, wrapping his wings around them to squeeze himself into a little ball.

"When I... when I killed those humans..." he said, "I felt like someone had pulled my spark out and smashed it with a sledgehammer or something. And I know I had to and all, and that we all do sometimes, but... the way he was talking about it... it was like... I couldn't even understand what he was saying. Like how could anyone ever want to feel like that..."

"So... I guess... what I wanted to know was... since... since you were a Decepticon once... what... what's... what's wrong with them? Why do they keep on trying to kill everyone? They can't just all be evil maniacs, or else there wouldn't be people like you or Jetfire or Mirage... or maybe even Deathstrike once he figures out who he is now..."

"So what are the Decepticons? And how come they keep trying to kill us?"

[Charon]

Shellshock had expected... well, he didn't know really what he'd expected. But one of the hardest questions in the history of their race was not the question he'd been expecting.

Shellshock took a seat and looked at Hornet. "The Decepticons started out as a band of true warriors, fighting for the truth. At least that's the way I see them, or wanted to see them back then. The autobot council that's been dead for so long was corrupt and controlling. They decided what was best for our society and the rest of were meant to just go along with it. The civilian models were alright with this mostly, sure there'd be the occasional grumbling, but civilians went through proper channels. Military models were, maybe second-class citizens, but then again maybe the Council just didn't know what to do with us. We were violent, rebellious, and proud, so they funded the pit fights to keep us busy." Shellshock stopped for a moment, remembering those days of old before he went on.

"Eventually, Megatron and a few others found out the truth about Autobots, everybody was Autobots back then, the distinguishing mark was if you were civilian or military. Anyway, they found out that we'd been built as a servant race, and that millions of years before either Overload or I was functional, we'd overthrown our cruel masters to serve our own destinies. From there word got around the the civil war started." Now Shellshock started to get into the meat of Hornet's question.

"So we Decepticons, as the Autobots before them, attempted to overthrow our cruel masters. And we did it, it wasn't even that hard, but in the end we had Cybertron and a few other surrounding planets. Things were going to be different." Shellshock sighed. "Have you ever heard of the old phrase, 'Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it'? Probably not. Well that's what happened to the Decepticons. After we had Cybertron, I began to notice that a lot of the others were lording over those we had beaten, creating servile races, if not just wiping them out entirely. I don't know why it happened, maybe it was Megatron's influence. He was an amazing leader, as good as Optimus is. Maybe it was just that we'd been cooped up for so long without a good fight. Maybe we'd just been taken over by our war programming, becoming too cold or too mad to care about what we destroyed so long as we won. Either way, the Decepticons started to do as the Quintissons before them, and that was when I cut my ties with them and left." Shellshock looked considerably disheartened at that. "It was the toughest thing I think I've ever done."

Shellshock looked back at Hornet. "Sorry, I went on rambling. Decepticons are really as diverse as we Autobots, there's a few former Autobots that still work for Megatron, there are the insanely loyal, just as we have here, and there are the Starscreams, which I'm sad to say we have one or two of ourselves. The only real difference between us and Decepticons, is that the Decepticons don't care about races like the humans. They're tools at best, target practice at worst. Deathstrike saw them as tools, which is better than can be said about some."

"Unfortunately Hornet, there is no easy answer. I think if there was this war might have ended by now."

Shellshock looked up at the cieling and then back down at the little 'bot, hoping he hadn't confused the poor thing with his answer.

[General Havoc]

Hornet listened intently, but didn't say anything, and he lowered his head slowly once Shellshock was done. From the corner of his optics he could see the Autobot insignia emblazoned proudly on his shoulder, the one Wheeljack had stenciled onto him after Optimus had formally agreed to let him serve as an Autobot. It had been a mere formality of course, given that Hornet was Wheeljack's own creation, and not merely some defector come in from the cold, but it had come with him formally being introduced to the other Autobots, and to Hornet it was one of his proudest moments. Whatever else happened, however else he screwed up, he was an Autobot, and he had the emblem to prove it. When everything else failed, he could just look down at his own wing, and see there a symbol of everything he hoped to become, and everything he was trying to live up to.

Right now however, all he saw was a faded symbol, the lines of which were blurred by his unfinished paint job. He slowly reached over to it, brushing at it with his hand, to clear off the dust almost reflexively. His optics were unfocused, and his spark unclear. He stared off into space for a moment, before he turned back to Shellshock.

"I always thought... we were s'posed to be the good guys," he said hesitantly. "I thought the Decepticons wanted to kill everyone, and we didn't, and that made us the good guys and them the bad guys."

Obviously it wasn't that simple, and equally obviously, this was nor something Hornet was easily able to deal with.

"But... you left the Decepticons. You came to join us. So did Jetfire and Mirage and the others. You wouldn't've done that if there wasn't much of a difference between us. If it was just that we like the humans a little more, then it wouldn't matter which side we were on. Even if... even if it's just that we've got Optimus to lead us and they've got Megatron... doesn't that make us different?"

"Are we... are we the good guys, Shellshock?"

The last question was asked in a thin, soft, fragile voice that threatened to break if the answer were what he feared.

[Charon]

Shellshock smiled gently as he placed two of the fingers of his giant hand on Hornet's shoulder. "Things aren't always clear, and living is always gonna be a mess with no straight and easy answer. Frankly, that's what makes life worth living. But when I said the only difference was that Decepticons don't care about humans, that doesn't meant that it's some small difference. That's the biggest difference that there can ever be. How we treat our fellow sentients is nearly the most defining feature any of us can have, Autobot, Decepticon, or human."

Shellshock grinned as he got to his feet. "Pits little 'bot. You don't think that Prime says that freedom is the right of all sentient beings just because it sounds cool do you? Honor, right action, serving the greater good, these aren't things that can be followed if you're only looking out for you and yours. It's determined by how you treat those that aren't the same as you."

[General Havoc]

Hornet looked back up at Shellshock and managed a bit of a smile. "Is... is that why you left?" he asked. "Is that why you joined us?"

He sighed before the question could be answered.

"Sometimes I have a dream..." he said, "that... instead of an Autobot, I was built to be a Decepticon. That... instead of Wheeljack it was Trauma or Soundwave or... even Megatron who built me, to try and do the stuff that Wheeljack wanted to do. And I dunno if... if I'd still be me. Sometimes I think that they'd have built me to be something totally different, but... Wheeljack says you can't build a spark, just put one in a body and hope it works. So... sometimes I wonder if I was a Decepticon, if I'd wanna be like the other Decepticons, and hate the Autobots, and fight them, or if I'd wanna leave, and go to where Optimus and the Autobots are, and become one of them.... like you did."

[Charon]

Shellshock smiled, though at this he shrugged. "The only beings in this universe that can answer that question are you and Primus. But you were built as an Autobot," Shellshock grinned "And you definately don't have the instincts of a Decepticon, so I think you're good where you are."

[General Havoc]

Hornet smiled again. It was nice to be reminded that he was on the right side after all, on both accounts, but still something bothered him.

"... but what about the other Decepticons?" he asked. What about the ones who weren't built as Autobots. What about them? You left the Decepticons and you said it was the hardest thing you ever did. Couldn't... couldn't there be more of them? More Decepticons who are more like me than like you, and who can't leave, and maybe don't even know that they want to yet? We're all Transformers... we all have sparks... and Deathstrike said that Megatron was fearsome and powerful and kept everyone doing what he said to do, and I believe that."

"What if... I HAD been a Decepticon," he asked. "What about the Decepticons who can't leave? What... what happens to them?"

[Charon]

Shellshock shook his head. "This war's been going on for so long now that the lines have been pretty much drawn for the last few million years. Deathstrike might have just joined us, but he left Megatron long before that. There might be a few, but it's impossible to tell if there are any, let alone who they would be. Then there's the risk that they're just lying to get into our base, gain our trust, and then turn on us at a pivotal moment. Some 'bots are just born bad and like it Hornet."