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#1 Author Feedback - Norseman

Post by Norseman »

As it says the post where you can tell me what you think of my fics, right now only 92 Days is posted but that might change soon.
Last edited by Norseman on Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:44 am, edited 2 times in total.
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#2

Post by frigidmagi »

I'm enjoying it. The air raid part was good.
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#3

Post by LadyTevar »

I dont know if it's my computer or what.. but soemthings' screwy with the Prologue section of 92 days.
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#4

Post by Norseman »

LadyTevar wrote:I dont know if it's my computer or what.. but soemthings' screwy with the Prologue section of 92 days.
Meh my bad fixed.
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#5

Post by Norseman »

"92 Days" is now officially on hiatus, I'm sorry but I just can't do it. If I have to force myself to write a story, and it makes me miserable to do so, it's just not worth it.
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#6

Post by Norseman »

Well hiatus is over I can still do it if I have to :) Hope you like it.
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#7

Post by LadyTevar »

Short Hiatus. :lol:

Another great story, hon.
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#8

Post by Norseman »

Okay if anyone reads this I need beta readers for a fantasy story I'm writing. I'd post it in the User-Fiction section but I'm not too steady on what constitutes prior publication so I'll avoid that for now.
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#9

Post by LadyTevar »

Sorry you didn't make the Black Library, Norseman. I figured competition would be rough.
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#10

Post by Norseman »

LadyTevar wrote:Sorry you didn't make the Black Library, Norseman. I figured competition would be rough.
That doesn't bother me, what bothers me is not making round two! That said lets judge the stories on their own merits :)
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#11

Post by frigidmagi »

Interesting opening to the Unification War, if a bit short. The aliens are humanoid I'm assuming?
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#12

Post by Norseman »

frigidmagi wrote:Interesting opening to the Unification War, if a bit short. The aliens are humanoid I'm assuming?
Yah, pretty much, I'll give a further description later on.
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#13

Post by LadyTevar »

I have read the first full page of the story (page as in Forum Page)

So far, you have a fantastic world full of fabulous wonders, that's got a strong familiar foundation to anchor the reader. The descriptives are the pictorial without being flowery or florid. The writing is sharp and pulled me in, making it hard for me to keep focused at work. I keep wanting to come back and read more. :twisted:

No wonder you're wanting to get a publisher for this!
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#14

Post by LadyTevar »

So............ will it be a trilogy, or will the Next book tell us how he fulfills his oath and faces the draug?
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#15

Post by Norseman »

LadyTevar wrote:I have read the first full page of the story (page as in Forum Page)
Wow you read fast!
LadyTevar wrote:So far, you have a fantastic world full of fabulous wonders, that's got a strong familiar foundation to anchor the reader. The descriptives are the pictorial without being flowery or florid. The writing is sharp and pulled me in, making it hard for me to keep focused at work. I keep wanting to come back and read more. :twisted:

No wonder you're wanting to get a publisher for this!
I just hope I can get the ABNA people, as well as an agent and a publisher to agree with you! :-) But thank you, I do appreciate it. Also glad to hear that the beginning was strong, as the first chapters are the most important.
LadyTevar wrote:So............ will it be a trilogy, or will the Next book tell us how he fulfills his oath and faces the draug?
I will probably finish it up in the second book, but I have ideas for a third one too!
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#16

Post by frigidmagi »

Prince Victor seems like a decent fellow. I might come to like him. Maybe.

I do wonder what that secret talk was...
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#17

Post by frigidmagi »

So is Belinda a mistress or a courtesan?
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#18

Post by Norseman »

frigidmagi wrote:So is Belinda a mistress or a courtesan?
Currently she is a mistress, though she's been a courtesan. Mind you at the highest levels it can be a bit tricky to tell them apart.

Now at least you know why Caroline wanted to talk to Lord George and why she needed to be discreet about it.
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#19

Post by frigidmagi »

Yes blurting that out in public is not quite the thing is it?

As this is vaguely Victorian, Belinda is a fairly important personage, but not one that someone admits to knowing. At least not where it could end up on the record.
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#20

Post by Norseman »

frigidmagi wrote:Yes blurting that out in public is not quite the thing is it?

As this is vaguely Victorian, Belinda is a fairly important personage, but not one that someone admits to knowing. At least not where it could end up on the record.
At least if you're a woman with pretentions to be respectable, particularly since Belinda is indeed Caroline's aunt.

I have to admit that I was a little nervous about including Belinda, for fear of going into WHORES WHORES WHORES territory (link is clean). However I think the interaction between the two works well and it will influence the plot further on.
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#21

Post by LadyTevar »

Family is family, even if said family got to their position in ... unusual ways.
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#22

Post by Norseman »

LadyTevar wrote:Family is family, even if said family got to their position in ... unusual ways.
Belinda got into her position in the usual way.

Oh wait, you meant how she got to have power and influence? My bad! ;)

Seriously though there will be more about this further in. I just hope that I manage to portray them, particularly Caroline, in an accurate way. E.g. as individuals rather than stereotypes or archetypes.
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#23

Post by Norseman »

As some of you may know I entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award (ABNA) contest a while back, but though my pitch was accepted I failed to make it to the quarter finals. That said the first five thousand words, the excerpt, did get two reviews, which I are enclosed here for your perusal.
ABNA Expert Reviewer
This is an interesting excerpt - it seems to be a combination of Roman Centurion and magic. So far it works well, though magic has not made too much of an appearance yet.
Don't worry about the extra names for things - pick one and go with it. Otherwise it just gets confusing for the reader. Explaining a difference once is not a big deal, but then just pick one style.
I'm not overly certain of the plot as of yet - of course, the excerpts are short and it can be difficult to really get into the plot line. I'm guessing that the plot revolves around more than a love struck young man in the army though. From the tone and the small piece about battles, maybe a war is coming on?
The writing is smooth - it flows at a good pace without being jerky or uneven. The style fits the story, as does the voice.
I am interested in the thrall, Gudrid. I would be interested learning how much of a part she plays in the story.
Overall, it's a pretty good excerpt. I wish there had been more to read, and I would love to see it in print.
Well this one was reasonably good, I am fairly sure that was a five. However there were two reviews, both of which had to be good to make it to the quarter finals, this was the second one:
ABNA Expert Reviewer
Very unusual story line. Not to interesting.I am not one to like stories about things that never happened. It held my interest for a couple of pages,after that my mind started to wonder.To many names that I could not pronounce.
I particularly like the bit about "I am not one to like stories about things that never happened." Especially since he had agreed to review novels in the fantasy genre.

Not sure which reviewer I should pay most attention to, but it is a bit disheartening to see how luck plays a big role.
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#24

Post by fgalkin »

Ouch.

Have a very nice day.
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#25

Post by frigidmagi »

It feels like the Col is accusing him of something here?

Being Gay?

Being a Lightweight?

Or a Jackass?

Or completely useless?

What is this soceities feeling towards homosexuality anyways? If it's like Victorian England being called that rates a duels if I remember right...
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